Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool): Remembering Joni Mitchell   2 comments

July 28, 2019

“You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.” – Joni Mitchell

The lyrics to Joni Mitchell’s song, Big Yellow Taxi, has been swirling around my head this week.

It’s been a rough, but inspiring time, filled with various losses, as well as joy and excitement. My niece, Tami, unexpectedly passed away on Monday from heart failure. The news came as quite a shock to everyone, as she seemed to be recovering well after a standard procedure. She was 49 years old. A good spirt. Tough. Resilient. Loved and cherished.

The week also included transitioning from my apartment in Cavana, where I’ve lived for two plus years, and moving my belongings to a friends’ soffitta (attic / storage unit), as one of the owner’s family members has returned to Trieste and will be moving in to my apartment.

Life is constant change, and along with change often comes feelings of sadness and loss, as well as anticipation and delight for what may lie in front of us. While I am grieving the loss of my niece, and my home, I am also feeling deep appreciation for the gifts that both have given me. Love. Safety. Joy. Beauty. Strength. Harmony. Adventure. Challenge. Growth, and so much more. And, as I reflect on the past, I am also aware of how easy it is to take the people we treasure, and the experiences we cherish for granted; overlooking how precious life is, as it is occurring.

As the I-Ching informs us, there is another side to each and every experience. With every loss comes a birth, and with every change an opportunity.  For instance, I’ve had the honor of supporting my niece, “J,” in developing the resources within herself to ask for what she needs and wants as she is reaching out to family and friends for the help and support she requires; something she’s been afraid to do up until now. As a result, she is growing confidence, resilience and courage.

As for me and my living situation, while I haven’t yet found a new apartment, the pieces came together to spend the month of August in Amsterdam; a place I’ve been wanting to visit for quite some time. By Divine Design, I was gifted with multiple synchronicities so that my expenses for the trip, including lodging, airfare and ground transportation to get there will equal what I was paying for one month’s rent in Trieste. Quite the deal! And several friends have offered a couch or bed when I return to Trieste in November, if needed. (I’ll be traveling to New York and Seattle, WA after my European trip to visit my son and take care of some personal business; hence the extended date.) And while grieving and exhausted, I am reminded that Life is truly magnificent.

I am so grateful for the care and support that friends and acquaintances have shown me, and trust that my niece, Tami, is now transitioning to a new phase of life, yet to be discovered.

THIS WEEK’S TNT: Remembering Joni Mithcell

This week, take some time to reflect on how you’ve grown or what you’ve learned as a result of a personal challenge or loss.

For instance, I cherish my beautiful niece and the energy with which she blessed  the earth.  I am also grateful for the two plus years I’ve lived in my apartment in Trieste.

Reflecting on these experiences helps me heal and fills me with love and appreciation. They also help me accept what is, stay in the present, and open to the future.

What do you appreciate about your experience?

Grief has many faces: anger, denial, depression, bargaining and acceptance.  Let your feelings surface, whatever they may be. Appreciate and honor all of it.

Then when ready, reflect on what the situations and people in your life have provided you.

Notice the good feelings and let them fill you and soak into your body. Love. Peace. Belonging. Pleasure.  Like a cleansing balm, the vibration of appreciation can renew and heal you.

With love, Theresa

Disclaimer: Theresa Conti is a not a licensed therapist or medical doctor. The coaching services and exercises provided by Ms. Conti and Reconneting2You are not a substitute for medical care or mental health counseling and are done at the user’s risk.

PS: If you’re a fan of Joni Mitchell and/or you’d like to hear her sing Big Yellow Taxi, you can watch her perform by clicking on the link at the bottom of the post.

As a Certified Life Coach, Energy Healing Practitioner, Workshop Leader and Author with more than 25 years’ experience, it gives me great pleasure to help my clients grow the resources they need so they can flourish and lead the lives they desire. I look forward to working with you.

For more information and to schedule an appointment email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com. Coaching and healing sessions are available internationally by Skype and telephone, and in person in Trieste, Italy.

Connect with me on:

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

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Gratitude: Growing Happiness Inside of You & Our “Beautiful Pathways” Nature Walk   Leave a comment

Gratitude is literally one of the few things that can measurably change people’s lives.” – Bob Emmons, Ph.D.

I recently had the opportunity to listen to an interview with Bob Emmons, Ph.D. – a leading authority on gratitude and author of Gratitude Works, who spoke on the benefits of gratitude. The interview was part of a year long training program I am attending in the application of positive neuroplasticity  with Dr. Rick Hanson.

While gratitude has often been thought of as a touchy-feeling spiritual practice, with perhaps little to no practical implications, gratitude, in fact, has been scientifically proven to have multiple physical, psychological and social benefits. Here are just a few:

Research has shown that adults who practice gratitude on a regular basis experience the following benefits:

Physical

  • Exercise more regularly and take better care of their health
  • Report fewer illness symptoms
  • Have stronger immune systems
  • Are less bothered by aches and pains
  • Have lower blood pressure
  • Respond more effectively to daily stressors, and may show increased resilience when confronted with trauma induced stress
  • Sleep an average of 30-minutes longer each night and wake feeling more alive and vital

Psychological

  • Have higher levels of positive emotions, such as joy, enthusiasm and love
  • Are protected from envy, greed, resentment and bitterness
  • Are more alert, alive and awake
  • Feel more optimistic and happier
  • Have fewer toxic negative emotions
  • Can experience a decrease in the duration and frequency of depression
  • Have a higher sense of self-worth

Social

  • Are more helpful, generous and compassionate
  • Feel more loving, joyful, forgiving and enthusiastic
  • Are more outgoing
  • Have improved relationships
  • Have increased feelings of connectedness, and even altruism
  • Experience increased social support

THIS WEEK’S TIP ‘N TOOL

PRACTICE: GROWING HAPPINESS THROUGH GRATITUDE

People who kept a gratitude journal once a week for 10-weeks reported a 25% increase in happiness. So…

This week you can begin your gratitude practice by starting a gratitude journal.

For instance, you might like to purchase a journal or notebook that appeals to you, and that brings a sense of pleasure to look at and write in.

Then, once a week (or more often, if you like), write five things your grateful for.

As an extra boost, at the beginning or end of every day, spend a little quiet time reflecting on the “good facts” in your life.

For instance, the comfortable bed you’re lying on, the sun shining through your window, the warmth (or coolness) of the air on your skin, etc.  (I like to do this in the evening, while lying in bed, just prior to sleeping.)

Then, soak in the good feelings that arise as you reflect on what you’ve written in your gratitude journal and as you review the good facts in your life at the beginning or end of the day.

The practice of “soaking in the good” is an important step and will help to tilt your brain in the direction of happiness and positivity.

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With love, Theresa

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I am a Certified Life Coach, Energy Healing Practitioner, Workshop Leader and Author with more than 25 years’ experience. It gives me great pleasure to help my clients grow the resources they need so they can flourish and lead the lives they desire. My books, “Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself, and “I Am the Treasure,” can be found on Amazon.

For more information and to schedule an appointment email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com. Coaching and healing sessions are available internationally by Skype and telephone, and in person in Trieste, Italy.

Connect with me on:

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

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Six Practices to Build Trust and Move Forward, Plus New Coaching Program   Leave a comment

“The knowledge that you can handle anything that comes your way
is the key to allowing yourself to take risks.”
– Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.
 
Do you suffer from procrastination? Indecision? Have a difficult time knowing what to do? How do it? Or when? If so, you’re not alone.
Decision-making can be stressful. Weighing options, and the uncertainty that comes from stepping into the unknown, can make us question our thinking, elicit feelings of anxiety and stop us in our tracks. Whether you are anticipating a new job, a new home, or who to hire for that project that’s been sitting on the back burner, these six practices can help you build trust and move forward.
See which of the following six practices resonate with you. Try one or try them all.  Whichever you choose, each one will help to free a block that’s been keeping you feeling stuck.
Six Practices to Build Trust and Spring You Forward
Practice #1: Let go. Release your expectations and painful outcomes from the past. Rather than obsess about what might happen, or what you did or did not do, choose to investigate instead.  Ask yourself: “What is there for me to learn from this situation?” I am a big fan of journaling and find the practice helpful. Perhaps you will, as well.
Practice #2:  When in doubt, don’t.  Forcing a solution before it’s time adds undo stress, and can prevent new ideas from surfacing. Try letting go instead. Refocus your attention and give yourself, and the situation you are deliberating, some space. Trust that the guidance, answers and direction you seek will present themselves. Likely, when least expected.
Practice #3:  Face your fears. If you’re worried about making a wrong choice, start by making small decisions.  Write your decisions down in a notepad or journal and begin taking compatible actions. Should you experience an unpleasant result, trust that you can handle it and re-evaluate the situation. Making small decisions will strengthen your ability and increase your confidence.
Practice #4: Reality check.  Make a list of all the good decisions you have made to date, and add to it daily.  Re-read as necessary.
Practice #5:   Do the next right thing. When feeling overwhelmed, rather than focusing on the big picture, chunk it down and do the next right thing. This will reduce your anxiety and develop a foundation of trust. Each step will lead to the next, and will eventually guide you exactly where you are meant to be.
Practice #6:  Appreciation. Acknowledge yourself for taking the actions and trying something new. Life is meant to be lived one day at a time. Have fun and enjoy the journey!
As always, I would love to hear your comments!
With love,
Theresa
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If you know someone you may find this post helpful, please forward.

For more resources, please check out my books, Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself and I Am the Treasure on Amazon.

ABOUT THERESA

 

I am a Certified Life Coach, Energy Healing Practitioner, Workshop Leader and Author with more than 25 years’ experience. It gives me great pleasure to help my clients grow the resources they need so they can flourish and lead the lives they desire. I look forward to working with you.

For more information and to schedule an appointment email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com. Coaching and healing sessions are available internationally by Skype and telephone, and in person in Trieste, Italy.

Connect with me on:

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

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Happy Mother’s Day to One and All! And Quotes to Inspire.   Leave a comment

Dear Friends,

Wishing a Happy (now belated!) Mother’s Day to all the mom’s out there!

And, as we all give birth to the ideas, dreams, and the lives we create, we are all mothering something. May you give birth to the gifts and talents you are here to share and treat them with loving care.

 

Hear Your Own Music – Dr. Eric Pearl

It’s been more than 100 years since Woodrow Wilson proclaimed Mother’s Day a national celebration in May 2014.

As women, we can take pride in having birthed our children, and more extensively, in the gifts we have shared with the world through the very nature of our being.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ONE AND ALL AND QUOTES TO INSPIRE!

We all have special gifts and talents to share. So, in our own way, we are part of the creation process, giving birth to new ideas through our words, our thoughts, our actions, and the visions we hold for ourselves and for the world. The things we create, whether tangible or not, are like our children, and we must care for and nurture them in order for them to excel and grow.

Whether we give birth to something tangible that we can hold and touch, such as a baby, a book, a product, or birth something such as peace, love and gentleness, when we act from inspiration and from the core of our being, our creations bring greater Light, Love and Joy into the world and are part of our personal callings. They feed us, as much as, or more than, they feed and nourish the world.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes. May they inspire your creations:

“Begin to practice taking small steps, doing the things you’ve avoided doing before, experiencing little “risks” and “little” adventures until your love of doing what you want and your experience at taking risks makes you confident enough that living your biggest dream is only one more little “risky” step.” – Barbara Sher

“Everyone has a unique purpose in life…a unique gift or special talent to give to others. And when we blend this unique talent with service to others we experience the ecstasy and exultation of our own spirit, which is the ultimate goal of all goals.” – Deepak Chopra

“Success comes when you move unerringly forward. Rejecting all that tends to distract you from your master plan.” Catherine Ponder

“Think of your work life not as separate from your spiritual life, but as central to your spiritual life. Whatever your business, it is your ministry.” – Marianne Williamson

“What scares you can free you when you start taking steps to have what you truly desire.” – Theresa Conti

Wishing you a very happy, healthy, joy-filled Mother’s Day! May all of your relations be filled with joy, peace, beauty and love.

If you know someone who found this post helpful, please share.

For more resources, please check out my books, Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself and I Am the Treasure on Amazon.

With love, Theresa

 

Theresa Conti is a Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Workshop Leader and Author with more than 25 years’ experience. Theresa specializes is helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams, and create happier, healthier and more fulfilling lives.

For more information and to schedule an appointment email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com. Coaching and healing sessions are available internationally by Skype and telephone, and in person in Trieste, Italy.

Connect with me on:

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

 Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool): The Universe Answers The Call   Leave a comment

“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

I had just finished listening to an audio program on gratitude when my doorbell rang. I answered with “Pronto,” (an Italian phrase equal to saying “hello” in English when answering the telephone or Campanello di casa). It was a courier delivering a book I had ordered on Amazon.

The audio program included many aspects of gratitude, including those I’ve often shared in my blogs. In addition to citing the benefits of having a gratitude practice, such as strengthening the immune system, reducing anxiety and improving sleep, the presenter also talked about general practices of gratitude, like being thankful for the sunlight, small pleasures, and appreciating the people around us.

Now, I’m really good at appreciating others for the gifts and blessings they provide me, including their friendship, support, generosity, and the general sense of well-being I receive from knowing them. What struck me, however, was the presenter’s suggestion to turn the process around by noticing what people appreciate about me. Duh! A novel idea! So, at the end of the program, I decided to pay more attention and take in the good feelings of being appreciated by others. The universe never ceases to amaze!

So, after buzzing the delivery man in, I went down to the ground floor to meet him and retrieve my package. He asked me where I was from, and when he pursued the conversation, I told him I speak just a little Italian. That’s where the serendipity came in! It turned out that he’s originally from Naples and speaks perfect English. We had a short, though delightful conversation about places we’ve lived or visited. The kicker? At the end of our chat he told me that he would like to talk more and that he was so happy to meet me! We decided to have a coffee sometime in the future!

I climbed the four flights of stairs back up to my apartment with a smile from ear to ear. I took in the good feelings of being appreciated and let them saturate my body. The universe certainly delivers!

TODAY’S TNT: THE UNIVERSE ANSWERS THE CALL

This week, pay attention to the way the universe supports you.

What have you been wanting?

Asking for?

Are you open to receiving it?

If not, ask the universe for healing whatever’s in the way.

Then, begin developing an awareness for the good in your life by recognizing the small things that are coming your way.

Take a moment to stop and give thanks for them.

Let the good feelings soak down into your body.

What we appreciate, appreciates, both within our lives and as resources we grow within us.

A - Appreciate

For more resources, please check out my books on Amazon.

As always, I’d love to hear about your experience, should you decide to try the process.

With love, Theresa

ARE YOU READY TO GROW THE GOOD IN YOU?

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Sowing Seeds of Happiness   Leave a comment

Preamble

I wrote the original version of this post back in August 2013. Amazing how time flies! Since then I’ve learned a lot more about the power of the brain and how it’s conditioned to tilt toward the negative based on our ancestors’ needs for survival; something that kept them on constant alert for oncoming threats and danger. Their need for protection was prominent, and therefore the reaction to potential danger to fight or flee was hardwired into the brain for the purpose of keeping them safe; something the brain continues to do today even when theres’s no real threat of danger. It’s no wonder that many of us struggle in pursuit of our dreams and goals, or are afraid to make changes because we’re conditioned to think the worst. This is known as the brain’s “negativity bias.”

I am so grateful for the HEAL process, developed by Dr. Rick Hansen, and the growth I’m seeing in myself, and others, based on the principles of experience dependent neuroplasticity (also known as Positive Neuroplasticity); a simple, yet powerful process that helps us grow inner resources for safety, satisfaction and connection so we can better meet life’s challenges and enjoy greater health, happiness and fulfillment.

SOWING SEEDS OF HAPPINESS

“All that I am is the result of all that I have thought.” – Buddha

It’s amazing how fast time flies, and how our dreams and goals, and the changes we wish to make often get sidetracked by the thoughts we think, the beliefs we hold, and the rationale that we’ll get to them someday. If this sounds familiar to you, don’t let your thoughts and beliefs hijack you!

Every word we speak, and every thought we think, has a powerful and corresponding effect. Whether we know it or not, we are constantly creating our own reality through our thoughts, beliefs and perceptions. Moreover, when we react to conditions and situations in our lives, the brain behaves as though we are in danger and strives to keep us safe.

For instance, let’s say you want to learn how to dance, but your mind tells you all the reasons you shouldn’t do it: “You won’t know anyone in the class, ” “you’ll  make a fool of yourself,” “you’ve got nothing to wear,” and “it’s too expensive,” etc. In this way, the amygdala, the part of the brain whose job it is to keep us safe, reacts and prompts us to flee, by staying at home and watching a movie by ourselves instead. And so rather than risk trying something new, we may feel lonely and unsatisfied as our dreams and goals are thwarted.

Alternatively, we can respond to life’s challenges by learning how to calm the nervous system and help the brain learn from positive facts and experiences. As we do, we create new neural pathways within the circuitry of the brain, which lead to a greater sense of well-being, joy and contentment.

Let’s redo our dance scenario. Let’s say, once again, you want to learn to dance. You still feel anxious and nervous about talking the class, but this time you recognize the brain’s bias toward negativity and its function to protect and  keep you from what it perceives as danger. Instead of reacting to the situation and staying at home to watch a movie, you respond by drawing on the inner resources you’ve developed for safety, satisfaction and connection. In this case, growing resources of calmness, confidence and feelings of belonging may have helped you feel more relaxed and comfortable about about taking the dance class. As neurons that fire together wire together, over time, you would be helping the brain learn from the new experience.

A final note: Please note that the practice isn’t about denying what’s happening within or around us. It’s about becoming mindful of our needs and growing inner resources that help us better meet life’s challenges. In doing so we create greater happiness for ourselves, for others, and for the world.

THIS WEEK’S TIP ‘N TOOL:

 SOWING SEEDS OF HAPPINESS

Change starts with mindfulness…

This week, without judging your thoughts, or yourself, simply notice the thoughts you’re thinking and the feelings they elicit. Be mindful of what they’re telling you. Ask yourself if they’re really true.

Next…

Try calming your nervous system by putting your right hand on your heart and taking several deep breaths. Let your exhale be longer than your inhale. Repeat this exercise until you feel a little calmer.

Choose a Resource…

Ask yourself what resource would be helpful to meet the challenge you’re experiencing.

Try this…

For example, let’s say you’ve been feeling insecure, afraid and timid. To match the resource to the situation, you might choose to grow confidence.

Begin by taking a few breaths, and relax as you let go and feel supported by the chair beneath you. As you breathe, and feel yourself relax, let go of any remaining tension. Then, as you’re ready, visualize or think of a time, or times, you felt confident.

Notice the sensations in your body, and any thoughts you may have in support of your feeling confident as you watch the experience play out in your minds eye. If opposite emotions or thoughts come up, know that’s natural and bring your attention back to the experience of feeling confident.

If you’re not visual, or have trouble visualizing, think of a time you felt confident and what that feels like in your body.

Enrich the experience by making it bigger. For instance, notice the details – where you are, what you’re doing, who you’re with, how the air feels on your skin, etc.

Then, let the sensations you’re experiencing as you visualize or think about the situation flow down into your body, like a sponge soaking in water. Stay with the sensations for 5 to 20 seconds or longer. Let yourself absorb and enjoy the experience.

When you’re ready, open your eyes.

Then, as you go through the course of your day, be aware times you feel encouraged, hopeful and assured, and once again, let the good feelings of the positive experience flow down into your body.

 When done consistently, you will help the brain to learn from the new experience, and over time, the tendency to tilt to the positive will become more natural.

Good Facts…

Look for good facts that support your feeling confident. For instance,, notice the things you do well, or the things you accomplish as you go about your day.  Then soak in the good feelings.

***Note that absorbing the good feelings into your body for as little as five to 10 seconds is what will help your brain to learn and grow for the better, and is an essential part of the practice.***

For more resources, please check out my books on Amazon.

As always, I’d love to hear about your experience, should you decide to try the process.

With love, Theresa

Connect with me on:

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

 Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy

 

 

 

Reducing Holiday Stress: Say “No” to Get to “Yes,” Plus 2 Days Left   Leave a comment

Dear Friends,

Do you find it easy to say “Yes,” to others’ requests, but hard to say “Yes” to yourself?

Do you have a vision or intention for how to spend your holidays, but get hijacked by requests that you have a hard time saying “No” to?

The holidays can be a time of joy and cheer, as well as elicit feelings of stress and pressure.

While we may enjoy all that the holidays offer as we attend parties and other events; decorate our homes; shop for special gifts; visit friends and travel to see relatives and; make our favorite holiday recipes, among other festivities, we can also feel stretched and experience a strain on our time, energy, and financial reserves.

We may rationalize our decision to forgo our own needs, because we don’t want to offend our friends and family members, or risk disapproval from those we love or value.

But saying “No” provides an opportunity for others to grow, and care for themselves, and respect your personal needs.

Here are seven tips, and related questions, to help you gain clarity and take care of yourself this holiday season:

1. Take Inventory

– When are you saying “Yes” when you would rather say “No?”

– Are there particular circumstances or people who present a challenge?

2.  Be Mindful

– How does it feel in your body when you say “Yes” instead of “No?”

– Pay attention to stress and tension.

3.  Is what you fear will happen really true?

– How do you know?

– Is what you’re afraid of happening absolutely true?

– Regardless of what has happened in the past, this is a new moment.

– How can you take care of yourself if what you’re afraid of actually happens?

4.  What is saying “Yes” costing you?

– Are you tired and forfeiting rest?

– Do you have the financial resources to travel or buy expensive presents?

– Do you want to attend the events you’ve been invited to, or go out of obligation and later feel angry or resentful?

– What other costs might there be?

5.  Are you willing to pay the price?

– If you’re answer is “Yes,” do so with awareness. What will the payoffs be?

– If your answer is “No,” what could you do instead” (See #6 below)

6.  Saying “No” takes practice

– If you’re feeling nervous about expressing yourself, you may find it helpful to write down what it is you want to say.

– Then practice with a friend, a coach, or even in the mirror!

7.  Moving Forward

– What qualities do you need to grow inside yourself in order to feel comfortable setting healthy boundaries?

– Reflect on a time you were presented with a challenge and took care of yourself by setting a healthy boundary.

– Notice how the positive sensations feel in your body, and let the feelings flow through you.

– You can also think about how you felt – perhaps you felt a sense of confidence, or felt secure or empowered.

– Let the good feelings soak in as you stay with the experience for five to 20 seconds.

As always, I would love to hear from you.

With love,

Theresa

If you found today’s post helpful, please comment and share.

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Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator, and author with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams, and create healthier, happier, more fulfilling lives.  

 

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