Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Just Say “No”   Leave a comment

“Although it may feel uncomfortable to think about saying no, it’s important to remember that each time you say yes to someone, or something else, you say no to you and your priorities.” – Oprah Winfrey

We want to be kind. We want to be loved. We want to give because it feels good, and we want to be generous with our gifts, talents, abilities and time. But how often do we say “yes” to requests from friends, colleagues, family members, and others, when we know, within our heart of hearts, that it means taking time away from caring for ourselves?

Saying “no” can conjure up feelings of guilt and shame, because we may think it’s self-centered, and be afraid that others may judge us. But people learn how to treat us by how we treat ourselves.

Giving and receiving is an art of balance. But how can we achieve it? Change begins with awareness. Are you aware of how often you say “yes” when you would rather say “no?” The answer may surprise you!


This week, make not of how many times you say “yes,” when you would rather say “no.”

Keep a record in a small notebook or make a list on your phone.

Notice how you feel when you say “yes” to something you don’t want to do.

Do you feel resentful, angry, frustrated, stressed, or exhausted?

Your body is giving you clues!

At the end of the week, add up the number of entries in your notebook.

Then,  make a list of five things you would like to say “no” to.

Start with something small.

You don’t need to explain or justify yourself.

Don’t know what to say?

Here’s a rule of thumb you can follow:

Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don’t say it mean.

Learning to say “no” takes practice. But you can learn how to say it.

The more you practice, the easier it will become.

You will feel better, and while some relationships may fall away, others will deepen and grow.

As always, I would love to hear your comments about how this week’s TNT worked for you and what it is you discovered.

With love, Theresa

If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal.  It’s here:

Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Email to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. Available internationally by Skype and U.S. telephone.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.



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