Archive for the ‘Willingness’ Category

Reducing Holiday Stress: Say “No” to Get to “Yes,” Plus 2 Days Left   Leave a comment

Dear Friends,

Do you find it easy to say “Yes,” to others’ requests, but hard to say “Yes” to yourself?

Do you have a vision or intention for how to spend your holidays, but get hijacked by requests that you have a hard time saying “No” to?

The holidays can be a time of joy and cheer, as well as elicit feelings of stress and pressure.

While we may enjoy all that the holidays offer as we attend parties and other events; decorate our homes; shop for special gifts; visit friends and travel to see relatives and; make our favorite holiday recipes, among other festivities, we can also feel stretched and experience a strain on our time, energy, and financial reserves.

We may rationalize our decision to forgo our own needs, because we don’t want to offend our friends and family members, or risk disapproval from those we love or value.

But saying “No” provides an opportunity for others to grow, and care for themselves, and respect your personal needs.

Here are seven tips, and related questions, to help you gain clarity and take care of yourself this holiday season:

1. Take Inventory

– When are you saying “Yes” when you would rather say “No?”

– Are there particular circumstances or people who present a challenge?

2.  Be Mindful

– How does it feel in your body when you say “Yes” instead of “No?”

– Pay attention to stress and tension.

3.  Is what you fear will happen really true?

– How do you know?

– Is what you’re afraid of happening absolutely true?

– Regardless of what has happened in the past, this is a new moment.

– How can you take care of yourself if what you’re afraid of actually happens?

4.  What is saying “Yes” costing you?

– Are you tired and forfeiting rest?

– Do you have the financial resources to travel or buy expensive presents?

– Do you want to attend the events you’ve been invited to, or go out of obligation and later feel angry or resentful?

– What other costs might there be?

5.  Are you willing to pay the price?

– If you’re answer is “Yes,” do so with awareness. What will the payoffs be?

– If your answer is “No,” what could you do instead” (See #6 below)

6.  Saying “No” takes practice

– If you’re feeling nervous about expressing yourself, you may find it helpful to write down what it is you want to say.

– Then practice with a friend, a coach, or even in the mirror!

7.  Moving Forward

– What qualities do you need to grow inside yourself in order to feel comfortable setting healthy boundaries?

– Reflect on a time you were presented with a challenge and took care of yourself by setting a healthy boundary.

– Notice how the positive sensations feel in your body, and let the feelings flow through you.

– You can also think about how you felt – perhaps you felt a sense of confidence, or felt secure or empowered.

– Let the good feelings soak in as you stay with the experience for five to 20 seconds.

As always, I would love to hear from you.

With love,

Theresa

If you found today’s post helpful, please comment and share.

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Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator, and author with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams, and create healthier, happier, more fulfilling lives.  

 

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

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Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Focus on the Positive   Leave a comment

We all experience discouragement from time to time. The key, when in the midst of challenge, is learning to focus on the positive.

“If you keep saying things are going to be bad, you have a good chance of being a prophet.” – Isaac Bashevis Singer

It’s easy to feel frustrated when things don’t go our way, or take longer than we wish. We may become discouraged, and think that what we long for will never come to pass. Over time, if we don’t change the course of our thinking, the things we tell ourselves will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

If you would like a different outcome, and one that leads to your success, tell a different story, and shift your focus to your wins.

THIS WEEK’S TNT

Keep a journal of all that’s going well.

At the end of every day, add a daily entry.

It will help to change your focus and increase your happiness and energy.

Need some ideas? Here are a few to get you started:

You:

Caught an early bus, and made it to work on time!

Saw a friend you hadn’t seen in a while and enjoyed a lovely visit.

You saw a job posting in your field of interest, and filled out an application.

The sun was shining!

You took loving care of your body, and ate a nourishing meal.

You spoke up for yourself at a meeting.

Your car started!

Get the idea?

Experiment!

Try it for a month. Then, notice any changes in your outlook and your life.

It doesn’t matter how large or small the good things you notice are.

The benefits are yours to enjoy, and will come with daily practice.

With love, Theresa

Need help changing your thoughts and words?

“Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself” is an empowering process that can help you change your thoughts and create greater health, happiness, and fulfillment.

AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.

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PURCHASE YOUR COPY HERE

Don’t have a Kindle? No worries! Download the free app and read on your Smartphone, computer or tablet.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing Practitioner, Author, and Workshop Leader with more than 25 years’ experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams, and create greater health, happiness and fulfillment. She is trained in positive psychology, neuroscience, practical spirituality, among other modalities.

Connect with me on:

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

 Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy

 

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) 12 Steps to Organize Your Project   Leave a comment

“Sometimes if you’re not sure about something you just have to jump off the bridge and grow your wings on the way down.” – Danielle Steel

Today, I created a list of my top seven goals (who needs to wait until the New Year?); things I’ve been thinking about, but haven’t been acting on – at least not with an organized plan! Among my top three goals is publishing my next book, which will include 365 Tip ‘N Tools (one for each day of the year) on topics such as joy, health, safety, love, and belonging, among others. My mission is to inspire my readers to reconnect to their inner being, enhance their sense of happiness, and provide support to help them take consistent actions to fulfill their goals and dreams. The book will be based on more than 25 years of experience working with clients in the coaching, healing, and training fields.

I chose my writing project as the first among my seven goals to organize. Next, I created a plan to bridge the gap between where I am am now (just starting) and a date I deemed realistic for publishing my book. I then broke the project down into 12 steps I need to take, along with timelines, in order to reach my publication date. The process I just outlined helped me to organize and visualize my project in an orderly and doable way.

It’s easy to procrastinate on the things we would like to do, or experience, until we have a plan and take committed action. And when we do, we build our confidence, and feel energized and hopeful.

THIS WEEK’S TNT: 12 Steps to Organize Your Project

Step 1: Brainstorm a list of one to seven goals you would like to achieve, but haven’t yet acted on, or created a plan to attain it.

Step 2: From the list of goals you brainstormed, choose one that most energizes and excites you.

***Step 3: Decide on a realistic date for accomplishing it.***

Step 4: “Bridge the gap,” by breaking your goal down into manageable and achievable steps you know you can accomplish.

Stretch yourself, but make the steps attainable.

For instance, if you want to write a book, one step might be researching publishers who publish the type of content you wish to write about.

Step 5: Create realistic timelines for completing each of the steps you outlined above, in order to reach your target date.

Step 6: See if the date for completing your project lines up with your timelines, or if you need to adjust it.

For instance, using the example of publishing a book, if your target date for publication is February 30, 2019, but it will take you until April 1, 2019 to complete all of the steps in your plan, adjust your target date accordingly.

If you like, schedule each step into your calendar to remind you of your actions, and reinforce your timelines.

Step 7:  Print out your action plan and place it where you can see it.

Step 8: Create a plan to address resistance, when and if it should occur.

For instance, you can talk with a supportive friend, join a writer’s group (if writing is your goal), or hire a coach or other professional who can help you through the process.

You can also reflect on what’s getting in the way, and how you can address it.

Step 9: Follow-through on the steps you have committed to.

Step 10: If you find yourself struggling, imagine yourself being support, and carried along by the process.

Step 11: Acknowledge each step you complete and celebrate your successes!

For instance, as you complete each piece of your plan, stop and savor the feelings of satisfaction, joy, and achievement.  

Step 12: Use the same process to complete your other projects when you’re ready!

As long as you keep moving forward, you’re guaranteed to cross the bridge!

***Note: You can also write your timelines first, and then establish your projected completion date.

IMG_2557

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing Practitioner, Author and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams, and create healthier, happier and more fulfilling lives.

You can find her book, “Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself,”  on Amazon.

PURCHASE YOUR COPY HERE

Alpha V2

Connect with me on:

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

 Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy

 

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Just Say “No”   Leave a comment

“Although it may feel uncomfortable to think about saying no, it’s important to remember that each time you say yes to someone, or something else, you say no to you and your priorities.” – Oprah Winfrey

We want to be kind. We want to be loved. We want to give because it feels good, and we want to be generous with our gifts, talents, abilities and time. But how often do we say “yes” to requests from friends, colleagues, family members, and others, when we know, within our heart of hearts, that it means taking time away from caring for ourselves?

Saying “no” can conjure up feelings of guilt and shame, because we may think it’s self-centered, and be afraid that others may judge us. But people learn how to treat us by how we treat ourselves.

Giving and receiving is an art of balance. But how can we achieve it? Change begins with awareness. Are you aware of how often you say “yes” when you would rather say “no?” The answer may surprise you!

THIS WEEK’S TNT

This week, make not of how many times you say “yes,” when you would rather say “no.”

Keep a record in a small notebook or make a list on your phone.

Notice how you feel when you say “yes” to something you don’t want to do.

Do you feel resentful, angry, frustrated, stressed, or exhausted?

Your body is giving you clues!

At the end of the week, add up the number of entries in your notebook.

Then,  make a list of five things you would like to say “no” to.

Start with something small.

You don’t need to explain or justify yourself.

Don’t know what to say?

Here’s a rule of thumb you can follow:

Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don’t say it mean.

Learning to say “no” takes practice. But you can learn how to say it.

The more you practice, the easier it will become.

You will feel better, and while some relationships may fall away, others will deepen and grow.

As always, I would love to hear your comments about how this week’s TNT worked for you and what it is you discovered.

With love, Theresa

If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal.  It’s here:
 paypal.me/Reconnecting2You

Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. Available internationally by Skype and U.S. telephone.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.

Website: www.reconnecting2you.com

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

 Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy

To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool): It’s Okay   Leave a comment

“When you finally accept that it’s okay not to have answers, and it’s okay not to be perfect, you realize that feeling confused is a normal part of what it is to be human.”  – Winona Ryder

It’s okay to feel how we feel.

It’s okay if you feel afraid.

It’s okay if you feel lonely.

It’s okay if you feel frustrated.

It’s okay if you feel angry.

It’s okay if you feel resentful.

It’s okay if you feel like things aren’t working out the way you planned.

It’s okay…

When we accept, rather than resist, how we feel,  we make room for the feelings to shift, and for peace and balance to follow.

 

THIS WEEK’S TNT:

When you are feeling upset or tense, notice the sensations in your body.

Do you have a headache?

Are you experiencing pain in your neck, back, or shoulders?

Do your muscles feel tight?

Are you clenching your jaw?

Does your stomach hurt?

Are you experiencing other physical or emotional symptoms?

Take a deep breath and acknowledge your feelings.

It’s the first step on your path to recovery.

Acknowledging your feelings will help you reconnect to yourself, and allow solutions to follow.

As always, I would love to hear your comments about how this week’s TNT worked for you and what it is you discovered.

With love, Theresa

If would you like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal.  It’s here:
 paypal.me/Reconnecting2You


Are you in transition?

Would you like help addressing an issue you’ve been grappling with?

Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. Available internationally by Skype and U.S. telephone.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.

Website: www.reconnecting2you.com

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

 Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy

 

To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Affirmations: The Power of Our Words   Leave a comment

“The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude.” – Oprah Winfrey

Although we may be accustomed to thinking that our minds and bodies are separate entities, the truth is that they are intimately connected and have an effect on our behaviors and our experience of the world.

For instance, let’s say you have a conflict with a co-worker or family member and are uncomfortable addressing it.  Here’s how the scenario might go:

Thought: I am afraid of conflict.

Feeling: Fear, anxiety, resentment

Behavior: Avoidance, aggression

Physical response: Shallow breathing, stomach pain, tight muscles

When we change our thinking, we change how we feel about the situation or person, which then alters our behavior and how we physically feel.

In my workshop, Developing a New Relationship with Your Body, I facilitate a kinesiology exercise that proves the point.  I ask a volunteer to come to the front of the room and extend their dominant arm in a horizontal position. I then ask them to resist my pressure as I press down on their wrist and test their strength. They always test quite strong.

Next, I ask them to close their eyes and repeat the phrase “I am weak and helpless” 10 times. (I always do the counting!) When done, I ask them to extend the same arm and I retest their strength. The volunteers’ arms, without fail, become weak and fall limply by their sides. The class is always quite astonished.

In the final phase of the exercise, I ask the volunteers to repeat the statement “I am strong and powerful” 10 times, with eyes closed, and instruct them to soak in the good feelings. I then retest their strength. It sometimes takes volunteers a few tries to regain their original strength (such is the power of our negativity bias), but they always do, and often feel much stronger then they did at the beginning of the demonstration.

Affirmations are a powerful way to change our mindsets and improve our lives.  In my upcoming book, “Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Live and Love Yourself,” I provide 78 empowering affirmations to help you create a more joyful and healthy life. Pre-orders are coming soon!

In the meantime, try the following experiment:

THIS WEEK’S TNT

Pick a day to pay attention to your thinking.

Make note of your dominant thoughts.

Notice how you feel.

Choose one thought that diminishes your sense of well-being.

Write an affirmative statement to refocus your thinking.

Soak in the good feelings.

Notice any difference.

Use the affirmation as often as needed.

As always, I would love to hear your comments.

With love,

Theresa

Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. Available internationally by Skype and U.S. telephone.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.

Website: www.reconnecting2you.com

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

 Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy

 

To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Be Bold   Leave a comment

“Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.” – Goethe

The term “bold” still scares the bejesus out of me – or at least the part of me that’s afraid of being eaten by tigers! And…the little kid in me who feels afraid of the unknown and wants to feel protected and safe. But that’s not who I am. The former dates back to prehistoric times and is no longer valid. The later stems from childhood and is the part of me that needs comfort and soothing. If you have similar feelings about the word “bold,” the same may be true for you.

Who we are is often more than we give ourselves permission to live up to. Change involves risk – after all, one never knows the future – or the results of the actions we take. Our primary goal is to follow our inner calling and act with confidence and faith (or act as if we have them!), as we take a breath and begin moving forward.

A question I have found helpful for myself, and often ask clients who are unhappy or dissatisfied with their current life experience is:

“What will you regret not having done when you’re lying on your death bed?”

The answer is readily apparent, when we are open to listening. And when we don’t, we will feel out of balance, and may experience depression and physical symptoms.

For me, it meant letting go of my home in New York, selling my belongings, leaving family and friends, and fulfilling my dream of relocating to Italy; re-establishing close and healthy relationships with my family; and, using my gifts and talents to be of greater service in the world. Goethe’s quote is accurate – my life is expanding and my dreams have, and are, coming true. And yours can, too.

It takes guts to move our dreams into action. But that’s what leads to greater happiness, fulfillment and magic. Are you ready to begin?

THIS WEEK’S TNT

Ask yourself:

“What will I regret not having done at the end of my lifetime?”

Write your answer down and place it where you can easily see it.

Reflect on it daily.

Make a list of what it would take to accomplish.

Create an action plan to realize it.

Take the first step and open to the magic.

You’ll know you’re on track when the energy starts flowing.

If you get stuck, reach out to friends, professionals, and colleagues you know will support you.

As always, I would love to hear your comments.

With love,

Theresa

Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. Available internationally by Skype and U.S. telephone.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.

Website: www.reconnecting2you.com

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

 Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy

 

To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

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