Archive for the ‘Empowerment’ Tag

Reducing Holiday Stress: Say “No” to Get to “Yes,” Plus 2 Days Left   Leave a comment

Dear Friends,

Do you find it easy to say “Yes,” to others’ requests, but hard to say “Yes” to yourself?

Do you have a vision or intention for how to spend your holidays, but get hijacked by requests that you have a hard time saying “No” to?

The holidays can be a time of joy and cheer, as well as elicit feelings of stress and pressure.

While we may enjoy all that the holidays offer as we attend parties and other events; decorate our homes; shop for special gifts; visit friends and travel to see relatives and; make our favorite holiday recipes, among other festivities, we can also feel stretched and experience a strain on our time, energy, and financial reserves.

We may rationalize our decision to forgo our own needs, because we don’t want to offend our friends and family members, or risk disapproval from those we love or value.

But saying “No” provides an opportunity for others to grow, and care for themselves, and respect your personal needs.

Here are seven tips, and related questions, to help you gain clarity and take care of yourself this holiday season:

1. Take Inventory

– When are you saying “Yes” when you would rather say “No?”

– Are there particular circumstances or people who present a challenge?

2.  Be Mindful

– How does it feel in your body when you say “Yes” instead of “No?”

– Pay attention to stress and tension.

3.  Is what you fear will happen really true?

– How do you know?

– Is what you’re afraid of happening absolutely true?

– Regardless of what has happened in the past, this is a new moment.

– How can you take care of yourself if what you’re afraid of actually happens?

4.  What is saying “Yes” costing you?

– Are you tired and forfeiting rest?

– Do you have the financial resources to travel or buy expensive presents?

– Do you want to attend the events you’ve been invited to, or go out of obligation and later feel angry or resentful?

– What other costs might there be?

5.  Are you willing to pay the price?

– If you’re answer is “Yes,” do so with awareness. What will the payoffs be?

– If your answer is “No,” what could you do instead” (See #6 below)

6.  Saying “No” takes practice

– If you’re feeling nervous about expressing yourself, you may find it helpful to write down what it is you want to say.

– Then practice with a friend, a coach, or even in the mirror!

7.  Moving Forward

– What qualities do you need to grow inside yourself in order to feel comfortable setting healthy boundaries?

– Reflect on a time you were presented with a challenge and took care of yourself by setting a healthy boundary.

– Notice how the positive sensations feel in your body, and let the feelings flow through you.

– You can also think about how you felt – perhaps you felt a sense of confidence, or felt secure or empowered.

– Let the good feelings soak in as you stay with the experience for five to 20 seconds.

As always, I would love to hear from you.

With love,

Theresa

If you found today’s post helpful, please comment and share.

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Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com for more information and to purchase your coaching sessions.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator, and author with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams, and create healthier, happier, more fulfilling lives.  

 

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Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Just Say “No”   Leave a comment

“Although it may feel uncomfortable to think about saying no, it’s important to remember that each time you say yes to someone, or something else, you say no to you and your priorities.” – Oprah Winfrey

We want to be kind. We want to be loved. We want to give because it feels good, and we want to be generous with our gifts, talents, abilities and time. But how often do we say “yes” to requests from friends, colleagues, family members, and others, when we know, within our heart of hearts, that it means taking time away from caring for ourselves?

Saying “no” can conjure up feelings of guilt and shame, because we may think it’s self-centered, and be afraid that others may judge us. But people learn how to treat us by how we treat ourselves.

Giving and receiving is an art of balance. But how can we achieve it? Change begins with awareness. Are you aware of how often you say “yes” when you would rather say “no?” The answer may surprise you!

THIS WEEK’S TNT

This week, make not of how many times you say “yes,” when you would rather say “no.”

Keep a record in a small notebook or make a list on your phone.

Notice how you feel when you say “yes” to something you don’t want to do.

Do you feel resentful, angry, frustrated, stressed, or exhausted?

Your body is giving you clues!

At the end of the week, add up the number of entries in your notebook.

Then,  make a list of five things you would like to say “no” to.

Start with something small.

You don’t need to explain or justify yourself.

Don’t know what to say?

Here’s a rule of thumb you can follow:

Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don’t say it mean.

Learning to say “no” takes practice. But you can learn how to say it.

The more you practice, the easier it will become.

You will feel better, and while some relationships may fall away, others will deepen and grow.

As always, I would love to hear your comments about how this week’s TNT worked for you and what it is you discovered.

With love, Theresa

If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal.  It’s here:
 paypal.me/Reconnecting2You

Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. Available internationally by Skype and U.S. telephone.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.

Website: www.reconnecting2you.com

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

 Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy

To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Just Ask   Leave a comment

Do you ever want to ask for something, but shy away because you are afraid of being rejected? Or that your request is too outrageous? A couple of days ago, I had a wonderful reminder of just how awesome asking can be!

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool)  Just Ask

Years ago I participated in a four-day program called “On Course,”  a personal development program offered through The Center for Spiritual Living in Seattle. People who attended “On Course” and “EST,” told me the programs were similar, with the exeception of “On Course” being the more spritutal of the two.

One of the modules focused on making requests and asking for what we wanted, regardless of how outrageous we, or others, might think our requests to be. It was quite brilliant! Michael and Paulette Sun, who taught the course, challenged us to stretch our comfort zones and ask for what we really wanted, rather than asking for second best. The caveat was that we let go of our attachments and to be willing to hear whatever answer we received – which could be “yes,” “no,” or a negotiated verson of our requests. I felt liberated and took it to heart and ran with it. However, I must confess, being human, there have been times I’ve forgotten those words of wisdom and have had a slip or two. Fast forward…

As you may know, I’ve written my first e-book entitled  “Alphabet Affirmations To Transform Your Life and Love  Yourself,” and have gotten some great reviews. A few days ago, I felt inspired to contact Dr. Bernie Siegel (founder of Exceptional Cancer Patients and author of Love, Medicine and Miracles, among other books), and ask for a review. I felt a bit reluctant, after all, he was renowned surgeon and published author.  And then, the better part of me kicked in!  How would I know what his response would be unless I asked?  Astonished, I received a reply within minutes and got an awesome review later that day.

The next time you’re hestiant to ask for something “big,” take a breath, get support, if needed, then go ahead and do it! You may hear “yes,” “no,” or receive an alternative response. If you keep an open mind, a postive outlook, and let go of the outcome, the answer may surprise you!

With love,

Theresa

As always, I would love to hear your comments.

Click on the “Leave a Comment” tab at the top of the page to share them.

Disclaimer: Please note that the exercises provided are used at your own risk and are your personal responsibility.

 

Would you like to bolster your confidence and make more authentic requests”

Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a free 30-minute consultation. It would be my pleasure to speak with you.

 

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams, and create healthier, happier, more fulfilling lives.  To learn more, visit Theresa’s website or email her at Theresa@reconnecting2you.com

Website: www.reconnecting2you.com

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

 Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy

To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page

www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Treat Yourself To Love. And, A Free Valentines Gift For You   Leave a comment

Preamble

For those of us living in U.S., today marks our annual celebration of Valentine’s Day, a holiday  designated to acknowledge those we love.

As a special gift to you, it is my great pleasure to offer you a preview of my recently completed e-book, “Alphabet Affirmations To Transform Your Life And Love Yourself.”

Drawing on Positive Psychology and New Thought Philosophy, Alphabet Affirmations uses the letters of the alphabet to transform our consciousness and love ourselves. Alphabet Affirmations contains 78 powerful statements and space to write your own! Coined as “Absolutely Beautiful, Charming and Delightful!” by one reviewer, I would love to share it with you!

Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com for your free copy and awaken to the Love within you.

And, as an extra gift, I invite you to take advantage of this month’s Special Valentine’s Day Offer and save 33% on a 3-Month Coaching Program. See the Announcements Section below for more information.

And now, in keeping with the theme of love, on to this month’s blog, “Treat Yourself to Love.”

Treat Yourself To Love

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao Tzu

dating make you shudder or retreat to your coach to watch reruns of your favorite TV show?

We all desire love. It’s as natural as breathing. We were born to thrive and loving is a necessary component. But we often shelter ourselves and hold back from taking the risk that would lead us to greater happiness and fulfillment.

If you’ve been hiding out, it’s time to try something new and expand your horizons. Here are seven tools, which act like seeds, to help you sprout new roots and blossom:

  1. When looking for true love, the first step in the process is learning to love yourself. Appreciate who you are and honor your gifts and talents. You will become magnetic and attract people who resonate on your level. You will also be inclined to select a partner who respects and treats you well.
  1. Having a partner with similar interests in essential for a thriving relationship. Take note of the activities that bring you joy and are important for you to share. The list will help you choose someone with whom you are well suited.
  1. Are you clam and patient? Energetic and active? Quiet and Reflective? Choosing a partner with a similar temperament will improve your ability to understand and relate to each other.
  1. Brainstorm a list of qualities you want in a partner to ensure a fulfilling relationship Then, prioritize your list and pick the top 10 attributes as your “must have’s.” Kindness, generosity and good communication are three potential examples.
  1. Do the same for characteristics that turn  you off and are top 10 deal-breakers. Swearing, addictions and self-centeredness are three possible examples.
  1. Review your list of interests and choose something you’ve wanted to do, but have been afraid to try, and do it. Pick something small enough to get you started, but big enough to stretch you, than build on your success. Doing what you love provides opportunities to meet others who share mutual interests.
  1. Have fun with the process and don’t be attached to outcomes.

Wishing you a love-filled journey!
Theresa

Disclaimer: As with any exercise or process, the choice to use it is at your own risk and is your personal responsibility.

Announcements:

Special Valentine’s Day Offer: Enjoy a 33% Discount On A 3-Month Coaching Program

This nine (9) session coaching program will create a solid foundation for your life.

We will begin with a 90-minute Discovery Session, in which we take stock of your life, identify your needs, and create goals that allow you to experience greater health, happiness and fulfillment. This powerful process will help you to gain clarity and direction about your life path and establish an action plan to move you forward.

During our weekly coaching calls, we will work together to address your needs and goals, both immediate and long term; identify and work through blocks that may be standing in the way of your success; brainstorm and test out options to realize your dreams and goals in ways that resonate most strongly with your personal essence, and develop a strategic plan, with clear action steps, and a specific timetable, for reaching your goals.

Your 3-Month Coaching Program includes:

  • A 90-minute Discover Session
  • Eight (8) one-hour coaching sessions by telephone or Skype
  • Recordings of your coaching calls when provided by telephone
  • Unlimited email support
  • Assessments and exercises tailored to your individual needs
  • Three fifteen minute booster, as needed, within the coaching period.

Your Cost: $868       Regular Price: $1295       You Save: $427

For more information and to purchase your coaching program, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com.  It would be my pleasure to serve you.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients transform their stress into harmony and balance, so they can realize their dreams, and live healthier, happier, more fulfilling lives.  To learn more, visit Theresa’s website or email her at Theresa@reconnecting2you.com

Website: www.reconnecting2you.com

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

 Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy

To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page

www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

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