Archive for the ‘Healing’ Tag

Sowing Seeds of Happiness   Leave a comment

Preamble

I wrote the original version of this post back in August 2013. Amazing how time flies! Since then I’ve learned a lot more about the power of the brain and how it’s conditioned to tilt toward the negative based on our ancestors’ needs for survival; something that kept them on constant alert for oncoming threats and danger. Their need for protection was prominent, and therefore the reaction to potential danger to fight or flee was hardwired into the brain for the purpose of keeping them safe; something the brain continues to do today even when theres’s no real threat of danger. It’s no wonder that many of us struggle in pursuit of our dreams and goals, or are afraid to make changes because we’re conditioned to think the worst. This is known as the brain’s “negativity bias.”

I am so grateful for the HEAL process, developed by Dr. Rick Hansen, and the growth I’m seeing in myself, and others, based on the principles of experience dependent neuroplasticity (also known as Positive Neuroplasticity); a simple, yet powerful process that helps us grow inner resources for safety, satisfaction and connection so we can better meet life’s challenges and enjoy greater health, happiness and fulfillment.

SOWING SEEDS OF HAPPINESS

“All that I am is the result of all that I have thought.” – Buddha

It’s amazing how fast time flies, and how our dreams and goals, and the changes we wish to make often get sidetracked by the thoughts we think, the beliefs we hold, and the rationale that we’ll get to them someday. If this sounds familiar to you, don’t let your thoughts and beliefs hijack you!

Every word we speak, and every thought we think, has a powerful and corresponding effect. Whether we know it or not, we are constantly creating our own reality through our thoughts, beliefs and perceptions. Moreover, when we react to conditions and situations in our lives, the brain behaves as though we are in danger and strives to keep us safe.

For instance, let’s say you want to learn how to dance, but your mind tells you all the reasons you shouldn’t do it: “You won’t know anyone in the class, ” “you’ll  make a fool of yourself,” “you’ve got nothing to wear,” and “it’s too expensive,” etc. In this way, the amygdala, the part of the brain whose job it is to keep us safe, reacts and prompts us to flee, by staying at home and watching a movie by ourselves instead. And so rather than risk trying something new, we may feel lonely and unsatisfied as our dreams and goals are thwarted.

Alternatively, we can respond to life’s challenges by learning how to calm the nervous system and help the brain learn from positive facts and experiences. As we do, we create new neural pathways within the circuitry of the brain, which lead to a greater sense of well-being, joy and contentment.

Let’s redo our dance scenario. Let’s say, once again, you want to learn to dance. You still feel anxious and nervous about talking the class, but this time you recognize the brain’s bias toward negativity and its function to protect and  keep you from what it perceives as danger. Instead of reacting to the situation and staying at home to watch a movie, you respond by drawing on the inner resources you’ve developed for safety, satisfaction and connection. In this case, growing resources of calmness, confidence and feelings of belonging may have helped you feel more relaxed and comfortable about about taking the dance class. As neurons that fire together wire together, over time, you would be helping the brain learn from the new experience.

A final note: Please note that the practice isn’t about denying what’s happening within or around us. It’s about becoming mindful of our needs and growing inner resources that help us better meet life’s challenges. In doing so we create greater happiness for ourselves, for others, and for the world.

THIS WEEK’S TIP ‘N TOOL:

 SOWING SEEDS OF HAPPINESS

Change starts with mindfulness…

This week, without judging your thoughts, or yourself, simply notice the thoughts you’re thinking and the feelings they elicit. Be mindful of what they’re telling you. Ask yourself if they’re really true.

Next…

Try calming your nervous system by putting your right hand on your heart and taking several deep breaths. Let your exhale be longer than your inhale. Repeat this exercise until you feel a little calmer.

Choose a Resource…

Ask yourself what resource would be helpful to meet the challenge you’re experiencing.

Try this…

For example, let’s say you’ve been feeling insecure, afraid and timid. To match the resource to the situation, you might choose to grow confidence.

Begin by taking a few breaths, and relax as you let go and feel supported by the chair beneath you. As you breathe, and feel yourself relax, let go of any remaining tension. Then, as you’re ready, visualize or think of a time, or times, you felt confident.

Notice the sensations in your body, and any thoughts you may have in support of your feeling confident as you watch the experience play out in your minds eye. If opposite emotions or thoughts come up, know that’s natural and bring your attention back to the experience of feeling confident.

If you’re not visual, or have trouble visualizing, think of a time you felt confident and what that feels like in your body.

Enrich the experience by making it bigger. For instance, notice the details – where you are, what you’re doing, who you’re with, how the air feels on your skin, etc.

Then, let the sensations you’re experiencing as you visualize or think about the situation flow down into your body, like a sponge soaking in water. Stay with the sensations for 5 to 20 seconds or longer. Let yourself absorb and enjoy the experience.

When you’re ready, open your eyes.

Then, as you go through the course of your day, be aware times you feel encouraged, hopeful and assured, and once again, let the good feelings of the positive experience flow down into your body.

 When done consistently, you will help the brain to learn from the new experience, and over time, the tendency to tilt to the positive will become more natural.

Good Facts…

Look for good facts that support your feeling confident. For instance,, notice the things you do well, or the things you accomplish as you go about your day.  Then soak in the good feelings.

***Note that absorbing the good feelings into your body for as little as five to 10 seconds is what will help your brain to learn and grow for the better, and is an essential part of the practice.***

For more resources, please check out my books on Amazon.

As always, I’d love to hear about your experience, should you decide to try the process.

With love, Theresa

Connect with me on:

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

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Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) We Are Beacons of Light   Leave a comment

“Shine your light and make a positive impact on the world; there is nothing so honorable as helping improve the lives of others.” – Roy T. Bennett

I am reading the book “The Power of You,” by Chris Michaels. I have just finished the first chapter. The book is about our relationship with the Divine – the spiritual Presence we know by many names: God, Spirit, Creator. What we call “It” doesn’t matter.

We are all Divinely connected. Individual and unique expressions of Life; each with our own gifts and talents, and capacities for loving and giving. This is how we can truly change the world – by following our bliss; our dreams; our goals; and knowing there is a Divine Presence that wants the best for us. We are Its channels.

We add value to the world, and make a difference in the lives of others, by the simple things we do.

I recently sent a small amount of money to an elderly relative who is living on social security, and a small amount of food stamps. It’s something I learned from my father, who always impressed me with his generosity and I now follow in his footsteps, when I feel called and inspired to do so. Not from obligation, but from a place of loving presence.

We are beacons of light. We have the power to love, to heal, to care for and to bless one another, through our words, our actions, and the very essence of who we are.

I received a message from my relative the other day thanking me, and letting know that my contribution made a significant difference to her sense of security and well-being. It was a small gift, but it meant the world to her.

Our acts of kindness don’t have to be financial – they can be whatever we feel guided and inspired to do, moment by moment. And in doing so, we lift the lives of others, and ourselves, and increase the vibrations of love and well-being on our planet.

THIS WEEK’S TNT

What’s one act of kindness you can do today to make a difference in someone’s life?

It can be an act of kindness to someone you know or to a perfect stranger.

Notice how good it feels to contribute to another’s sense of well-being.

Not from obligation, or winning favor, but from a spirit of love and generosity.

And what we give will come back to us in ways we may never fathom. Like a sacred circle.

Try it for a day, a week, a month, a lifetime.

Little by little, our acts of kindness can, and do, make a difference.

It’s all a matter of practice.

If you like, try using the following affirmation from Chapter 11 of

ALPHABET AFFIRMATIONS: TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE AND LOVE YOURSELF

“MY HEART IS OPEN WIDE. I SPREAD KINDNESS EVERYWHERE I GO.

Then let your heart fill with love, and like a soothing balm flowing through you, let the good feelings fill your body.

As always, I would love to hear your comments, and how this week’s TNT works for you.

With love,

Theresa

“Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself” is an empowering process that can help you change your thoughts and create greater health, happiness, and fulfillment.

AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.

Alpha V2

PURCHASE YOUR COPY HERE

Don’t have a Kindle? No worries! Download the free app and read on your Smartphone, computer or tablet.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing Practitioner, Author, and Workshop Leader with more than 25 years’ experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams, and create greater health, happiness and fulfillment. She is trained in positive psychology, neuroscience, practical spirituality, among other modalities.

Connect with me on:

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

 Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy

 

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool): It’s Okay   Leave a comment

“When you finally accept that it’s okay not to have answers, and it’s okay not to be perfect, you realize that feeling confused is a normal part of what it is to be human.”  – Winona Ryder

It’s okay to feel how we feel.

It’s okay if you feel afraid.

It’s okay if you feel lonely.

It’s okay if you feel frustrated.

It’s okay if you feel angry.

It’s okay if you feel resentful.

It’s okay if you feel like things aren’t working out the way you planned.

It’s okay…

When we accept, rather than resist, how we feel,  we make room for the feelings to shift, and for peace and balance to follow.

 

THIS WEEK’S TNT:

When you are feeling upset or tense, notice the sensations in your body.

Do you have a headache?

Are you experiencing pain in your neck, back, or shoulders?

Do your muscles feel tight?

Are you clenching your jaw?

Does your stomach hurt?

Are you experiencing other physical or emotional symptoms?

Take a deep breath and acknowledge your feelings.

It’s the first step on your path to recovery.

Acknowledging your feelings will help you reconnect to yourself, and allow solutions to follow.

As always, I would love to hear your comments about how this week’s TNT worked for you and what it is you discovered.

With love, Theresa

If would you like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal.  It’s here:
 paypal.me/Reconnecting2You


Are you in transition?

Would you like help addressing an issue you’ve been grappling with?

Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. Available internationally by Skype and U.S. telephone.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.

Website: www.reconnecting2you.com

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

 Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy

 

To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Grief   Leave a comment

“Some pain is simply the normal pain of human existence. That is the pain I try to make room for. I honor my grief.” –  Marianne Williamson

During times of loss – whether it be loss through the transition of someone we cared for and loved, loss of a job, a relationship, a financial downturn, or other situation, we are often told to move on before we are ready; to suck it up and lick our wounds. And if we don’t, we may lose friends or be told we’re too sensitive. But grief has a life of its own.

It’s easy to distract ourselves with work, food, television, or other activities, and; there may be times we need to step away and give ourselves a break. But denying our feelings and suppressing our emotions doesn’t make grief go away.

The five stages of grief, identified by Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, include:

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance

However, we do not move through them in a linear fashion, and they may arise when we least expect them. For instance, I recall walking into a supermarket several months after my mother died. I had been feeling fine, but broke into tears when I entered the store. I have no idea what brought it on, as I was living 3,000 miles away. I stopped and let the tears flow. A few minutes later the emotions passed and I continued to shop.

It’s being present with the process that allows us to heal.

I recall Stephen Levine, one of my dearest teachers, saying that even missing a phone call elicits a momentary experience of grief.

Today’s TNT:

If you’re experiencing loss, allow yourself to honor your grief.

Share your experience with a trusted friend.

Sit with your feelings.

Journal.

Join a grief support group

Trust your process.

Take the time you need.

As always, I would love to hear your comments.

With love, Theresa

Do you have a dream or goal you would like to realize? Or would like support with a personal issue? Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.

Website: www.reconnecting2you.com

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

 Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy

 

To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Opportunities In Disguise   Leave a comment

“Do you truly know what is positive and what is negative? Do you have the total picture?

There have been many people for whom limitation, failure, loss, illness or pain, in whatever form, turned out to be their greatest teacher.”  – Eckhart Tolle

I often heard inmates at the Washington State Reformatory tell me, when I was facilitating a monthly self-help group at the prison, that being incarcerated helped them turn their lives around. It deeply touched my heart.  Many of them were so creative: artists, poets, songwriters, healers. It made me reflect on how, underneath our choices, behaviors, and attitudes, lies something beautiful and sacred within each of us. We may simply lose sight of it and need a catalyst to reconnect us to the Truth of who we are.

The Reformatory, located in Monroe, WA, is a maximum security facility. Most of the men who attended my groups, or whom I met at my colleagues programs, had been doing time for 10 to 20 years, if not more. Yet, they were experiencing a degree of freedom they hadn’t known when living on the outside. What it showed me was that…

Sometimes, what appears to be a failure or challenge is an opportunity in disguise.

Are you struggling with a situation or challenge that is causing pain or grief?  Try looking beyond the obvious.

Sit quietly and ask yourself:

“What opportunities are available to me now?”

“What is Life wanting to tell me?”

“How am I needing to grow?”

Write the questions in your journal and let the answers flow.

As always, I would love to hear your comments.

With love, Theresa

Feeling stuck?  Or ready for a change and would like support? I would love to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.

Website: www.reconnecting2you.com

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

 Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy

 

To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Finding Your Destiny   Leave a comment

Finding your destiny is the ultimate solution in life, because when you’re living as your soul,  you experience unity and subsequent problems and planning for the future  disappear. – Penney Peirce

I love Penny’s quote.

Finding your destiny doesn’t have to be difficult. Nor does it have to be grandiose. It can be as simple as calling someone you’ve been thinking of, which leads to a new connection or information you’ve been looking for; or feeling inspired to begin or complete a project you’ve put on hold, which builds your confidence and culminates in your success; or heeding the impulse to take a new route home, which results in finding the house you’ve been searching for.

While situations like those cited above, may seem insignificant at the time,  each of them provides us with possibilities and blessings that allow our destinies to unfold.

When we follow the soul’s longing, we are led to the next right action, and our lives begin to flow.

This Week’s Tip:

As yourself:  “What wants to happen next?” When the answer aligns with your soul’s purpose, you will feel a sense of openness and peace, and if even for a moment,  any resistance you’ve been experiencing will cease.

If you would like help discovering your next step, it would be my pleasure to speak with you.

Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a 30-minute Complimentary Coaching Consultation to ask questions, try coaching out and learn how coaching can help you.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.

Website: www.reconnecting2you.com

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

 Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy

To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) 3 Sources of Stress and How To Resolve Them   Leave a comment

Preamble

Do you lie awake at night worrying about the day ahead and what’s in store for your future? Living with uncertainty can be frightening and cause undue stress and health issues. This weeks TNT will help you to identify three underlying source of stress and solutions to resolve them.

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool): 3 Sources of Stress and How To Resolve Them

“Every change in the physiological state is accompanied by an appropriate change in the mental-emotional state, conscious or unconscious, and conversely, every change in the mental-emotional state, conscious or unconscious, is accompanied by an appropriate change in the physiological state.” – Elmer Green

Stress comes in two flavors: Eustress, or positive stress, is short term, improves our focus and performance, and brings a sense of joy and fulfillment. It may result from starting a new project or job, taking a long desired trip, or fulfilling a dream or goal. On the other hand, Distress, or negative stress, can be short or long term, stems from fear or worry, can cause insomnia, and lead to anxiety, as well as mental and physical problems.

The following strategies will help you to recognize three sources of stress and solutions to resolve them:

STRESSOR #1:  MENTAL CHATTER

Mental chatter, also known as “The Monkey Mind” occurs when our minds are busy and our thoughts are swinging from one idea to another, without intention or focus. Authorities estimate that we have between 60,000 and 80,000 thoughts per day, and that most of them are repetitive. Research has shown that what we think about has a direct correlation on our mental, emotional and physical health.

SOLUTION:

Take five-minutes at the start of the day to focus and quiet the mind. Examples include guided meditation, breathing exercises, or practices such as Tai Chi, yoga or prayer. As you begin to feel more peaceful, your body and emotions will benefit, your relationships will improve, and your day will go better, as well.

STRESSOR #2:  BELIEFS

Our beliefs are thoughts that have taken root in our consciousness and that may, or may not, be true. They are generally based on past experience and may have little to do with our present situation.

One way to identify a belief is by assessing if what we believe is either “always” or “never” true. Examples of beliefs include “Planes always crash,” “No one hires someone my age,” and “She always complains.” 

Our beliefs effect our actions and the outcomes we receive. As a result, we may talk ourselves out of the goals and dreams we desire to achieve.

SOLUTION:

Start by questioning your beliefs and assessing their validity. Ask yourself if the belief you are examining is always or never true, is an assumption, or based on past experience.

If your beliefs are holding you back, check them out by gathering information and seeking advice and support. For instance, if your dream is to travel, and you are afraid of flying, or going alone, check out the statistics for air travel or talk with people who have traveled solo.

STRESSOR #3: GUILT

If you feel uncomfortable being happy when others are suffering, or think you shouldn’t be wealthy because others aren’t, you may be suffering from the obstacle of guilt.  Denying ourselves the Good we desires keep us stuck and does nothing to serve those we worry or are concerned about.

SOLUTION:

Trust that we are each on our own journey, here to heal and grow. Learn to be channel of love, by spreading love everywhere you go. Tune in to your heart, and seek the answer for how to share your greatest treasure. Giving love may come in the form of a smile, lending a helping hand to someone in need, or may be a financial or other gift. One thing is certain, you will feel a sense of joy and fulfillment, as you give from a place of abundance, knowing all is well. Both you and the receiver will enjoy the blessing.

As always, I would love to hear your comments.

If you know someone who would find this post helpful, please share.

Would you like to experience greater joy and balance in your life? Or have a goal you desire to achieve?

Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a 30-minute Complimentary Coaching Consultation. It would be a pleasure to speak with you.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.

To schedule a 30-minute Complimentary Coaching Consultation to learn how you, too, can improve your health and accomplish your desires, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com

Website: www.reconnecting2you.com

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

 Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy

To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page

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