Archive for the ‘Life Coach’ Tag

Reducing Holiday Stress: Say “No” to Get to “Yes,” Plus 2 Days Left   Leave a comment

Dear Friends,

Do you find it easy to say “Yes,” to others’ requests, but hard to say “Yes” to yourself?

Do you have a vision or intention for how to spend your holidays, but get hijacked by requests that you have a hard time saying “No” to?

The holidays can be a time of joy and cheer, as well as elicit feelings of stress and pressure.

While we may enjoy all that the holidays offer as we attend parties and other events; decorate our homes; shop for special gifts; visit friends and travel to see relatives and; make our favorite holiday recipes, among other festivities, we can also feel stretched and experience a strain on our time, energy, and financial reserves.

We may rationalize our decision to forgo our own needs, because we don’t want to offend our friends and family members, or risk disapproval from those we love or value.

But saying “No” provides an opportunity for others to grow, and care for themselves, and respect your personal needs.

Here are seven tips, and related questions, to help you gain clarity and take care of yourself this holiday season:

1. Take Inventory

– When are you saying “Yes” when you would rather say “No?”

– Are there particular circumstances or people who present a challenge?

2.  Be Mindful

– How does it feel in your body when you say “Yes” instead of “No?”

– Pay attention to stress and tension.

3.  Is what you fear will happen really true?

– How do you know?

– Is what you’re afraid of happening absolutely true?

– Regardless of what has happened in the past, this is a new moment.

– How can you take care of yourself if what you’re afraid of actually happens?

4.  What is saying “Yes” costing you?

– Are you tired and forfeiting rest?

– Do you have the financial resources to travel or buy expensive presents?

– Do you want to attend the events you’ve been invited to, or go out of obligation and later feel angry or resentful?

– What other costs might there be?

5.  Are you willing to pay the price?

– If you’re answer is “Yes,” do so with awareness. What will the payoffs be?

– If your answer is “No,” what could you do instead” (See #6 below)

6.  Saying “No” takes practice

– If you’re feeling nervous about expressing yourself, you may find it helpful to write down what it is you want to say.

– Then practice with a friend, a coach, or even in the mirror!

7.  Moving Forward

– What qualities do you need to grow inside yourself in order to feel comfortable setting healthy boundaries?

– Reflect on a time you were presented with a challenge and took care of yourself by setting a healthy boundary.

– Notice how the positive sensations feel in your body, and let the feelings flow through you.

– You can also think about how you felt – perhaps you felt a sense of confidence, or felt secure or empowered.

– Let the good feelings soak in as you stay with the experience for five to 20 seconds.

As always, I would love to hear from you.

With love,

Theresa

If you found today’s post helpful, please comment and share.

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Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator, and author with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams, and create healthier, happier, more fulfilling lives.  

 

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Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Trust Your Gut   Leave a comment

“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you’re heading.” – Lao Tzu

Change can be both exhilarating and scary. Whether we wish to change careers, sell or purchase a home, move to a new city or country, begin or end a relationship, or do anything that’s new, the future is unknown and can prompt feelings of fear and insecurity.

A few months ago, I had a chat with an American woman who has been living in Trieste for 15 years or so. She works for an American support organization, and has watched people who have relocated from abroad come and go. I had been feeling a bit lonely the day I saw her, and was longing for connections on a deeper, more personal level. She said I was at a crisis point, wondering if I would ever learn the language, make closer friends, establish a clientele, learn the subtleties between cultures, etc. I felt like she was a mindreader and was inside of my head! The thing that helped me most was when she said that what I was feeling was common and the point at which most people left and returned home. Wow. Although I had no intention of moving,  it made perfect sense and gave me a new perspective.

The challenges that come with change are true with any endeavor. The reptilian part of our brains are hard-wired to keep us safe, so we’re bound to question our decisions, and wonder if we’re on the right path when feelings of doubt and insecurity rear their frightening heads. Our ancestors were on alert for their physical safety, and had to fight or flee when their environment was threatened.  In modern times, the “old” brain kicks in when it perceives an emotional threat, and can stop us in our tracks.

I still feel lonely and insecure from time to time, however, I remind myself that what I’m feeling is natural; take a breath; reach out for support, when needed; and move on.

Fear is a common occurrence and something we are bound to experience when we stretch our comfort zones and embark on something new. The key is recognizing where the fear is stemming from, and tapping in to our Inner Strength and the wisdom of our guts.

THIS WEEK’S TNT

What change have you been wanting to make, but have been afraid of doing so?

On a scale of “1” to “10,” with “1” Not At All Important and “10” Extremely Important, how important is the change you wish to make?

What’s holding you back?

Notice the feelings that emerge. Are you scared, excited, happy, terrified?

Are the thoughts that you’re thinking true and serving you? Or are they assumptions based on beliefs that are trying to keep you safe?

Take a breath and call on your Inner Wisdom.

What feels right for you to do?

Ask your gut, not your head!

What brings a feeling of deep peace and inner contentment?

Your gut will serve to guide you.

With love, Theresa

Need help changing your thoughts and perceptions? 

“Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself” is an empowering  tool that may help you make the changes you desire, and create a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life.

Available on Amazon. 

If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal.  It’s here:
 paypal.me/Reconnecting2You
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Author, and Workshop Facilitator with more 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives.

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Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Just Say “No”   Leave a comment

“Although it may feel uncomfortable to think about saying no, it’s important to remember that each time you say yes to someone, or something else, you say no to you and your priorities.” – Oprah Winfrey

We want to be kind. We want to be loved. We want to give because it feels good, and we want to be generous with our gifts, talents, abilities and time. But how often do we say “yes” to requests from friends, colleagues, family members, and others, when we know, within our heart of hearts, that it means taking time away from caring for ourselves?

Saying “no” can conjure up feelings of guilt and shame, because we may think it’s self-centered, and be afraid that others may judge us. But people learn how to treat us by how we treat ourselves.

Giving and receiving is an art of balance. But how can we achieve it? Change begins with awareness. Are you aware of how often you say “yes” when you would rather say “no?” The answer may surprise you!

THIS WEEK’S TNT

This week, make not of how many times you say “yes,” when you would rather say “no.”

Keep a record in a small notebook or make a list on your phone.

Notice how you feel when you say “yes” to something you don’t want to do.

Do you feel resentful, angry, frustrated, stressed, or exhausted?

Your body is giving you clues!

At the end of the week, add up the number of entries in your notebook.

Then,  make a list of five things you would like to say “no” to.

Start with something small.

You don’t need to explain or justify yourself.

Don’t know what to say?

Here’s a rule of thumb you can follow:

Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don’t say it mean.

Learning to say “no” takes practice. But you can learn how to say it.

The more you practice, the easier it will become.

You will feel better, and while some relationships may fall away, others will deepen and grow.

As always, I would love to hear your comments about how this week’s TNT worked for you and what it is you discovered.

With love, Theresa

If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal.  It’s here:
 paypal.me/Reconnecting2You

Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. Available internationally by Skype and U.S. telephone.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.

Website: www.reconnecting2you.com

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

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To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life   Leave a comment

“Every thought you have makes up some segment of the world you see. It is with your thoughts then, that we must work, if your perception of the world is to be changed.” – A Course In Miracles, Lesson 23

How would your life be different if you changed your thoughts and the words you use?

Whether we know it or not, our words have power and what we give our attention to grows.

I heard a TEDx Talk by Carolyn Myss a while back entitled “Choices That Can Change Your Life.”  My biggest take-away was giving away one word from my vocabulary and never using it again. The word that immediately came to mind was “can’t.” gave it away several months ago, and have rarely used it since.***

We often hold ourselves back from the lives we want without realizing we’re doing it. Our words, and the strategies we use for coping with the world around us, may keep us living smaller than we desire. We may think the worst will happen if we pursue our dreams and goals and settle for what we have rather than embrace what it is we want. Our perceptions are often based on past experiences or conditioning, which has nothing to do with living in the present moment.

Since I’ve given up (or at least reduced!) the word “can’t” from my vernacular, I’ve noticed how my life is expanding and how I’ve become more bold. Like everything, it is a work in progress, as life continues to unfold.

Our words, thoughts, and behaviors are intimately connected. The more conscious we become of what we say and do, the more freedom we have to choose.

Want more love, joy, and abundance in your life? Try out this week’s TNT!

THIS WEEK’S TNT

Pick a day to pay attention to the words you commonly use.

Notice the effect they have on your behavior.

For instance, if you tell yourself you “can’t,” how does it limit you, and what effect does it have on your life?

When you have completed your observation, choose one word to give away for the remainder of the month.

What changes do you notice?

Have fun with it!

Remember, it’s progress not perfection!

As always, I would love to hear your comments about how this week’s TNT worked for you and what it is you discovered.

With love, Theresa

***You can imagine giving your word away to a trusted friend who will take and transform it, or imagine placing it in a pink bubble and releasing it, or whatever else feels right.

If you found this week’s TNT helpful and would like to support my work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal.  It’s here:
 paypal.me/Reconnecting2You

Are you in transition?

Would you like help addressing an issue you’ve been grappling with?

Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. Available internationally by Skype and U.S. telephone.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.

Website: www.reconnecting2you.com

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

 Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy

 

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Grief   Leave a comment

“Some pain is simply the normal pain of human existence. That is the pain I try to make room for. I honor my grief.” –  Marianne Williamson

During times of loss – whether it be loss through the transition of someone we cared for and loved, loss of a job, a relationship, a financial downturn, or other situation, we are often told to move on before we are ready; to suck it up and lick our wounds. And if we don’t, we may lose friends or be told we’re too sensitive. But grief has a life of its own.

It’s easy to distract ourselves with work, food, television, or other activities, and; there may be times we need to step away and give ourselves a break. But denying our feelings and suppressing our emotions doesn’t make grief go away.

The five stages of grief, identified by Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, include:

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance

However, we do not move through them in a linear fashion, and they may arise when we least expect them. For instance, I recall walking into a supermarket several months after my mother died. I had been feeling fine, but broke into tears when I entered the store. I have no idea what brought it on, as I was living 3,000 miles away. I stopped and let the tears flow. A few minutes later the emotions passed and I continued to shop.

It’s being present with the process that allows us to heal.

I recall Stephen Levine, one of my dearest teachers, saying that even missing a phone call elicits a momentary experience of grief.

Today’s TNT:

If you’re experiencing loss, allow yourself to honor your grief.

Share your experience with a trusted friend.

Sit with your feelings.

Journal.

Join a grief support group

Trust your process.

Take the time you need.

As always, I would love to hear your comments.

With love, Theresa

Do you have a dream or goal you would like to realize? Or would like support with a personal issue? Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.

Website: www.reconnecting2you.com

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

 Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy

 

To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Blessings   Leave a comment

“Keep a happy heart.” – Joel Osteen

I was laying on the beach today in the heat of the afternoon sun in Sistiana – a lovely one hour and twenty minute boat ride from Trieste. It’s become one of my favorite places to soak in the rays (with sunscreen, of course!), relax, and bask in the beauty of the sea and the Carso.

I brought The New Earth, one of Eckhart Tolle’s books with me, and was having a grand old time relaxing and reading, with occasional breaks to take a dip and view the sea. A young man came by selling hats and asked if I wanted to buy one. He was an immigrant from Africa, whom I later learned was from Senegal. I passed on his offer the first time around – I didn’t feel a need and thought I could do better in town. About a half-hour later, as the sun progressed, I was having trouble keeping the glare out of my eyes while reading and wished he’d return. A few minutes later, he walked by, and like magic, asked if I wanted a hat! “Quanto costa?,” I asked. “Dieci euro,” he replied. Much more than I’m sure it was worth. “Okay,” I said. I chose a hat with flowered print and paid him. As he prepared to leave, I wished him a good day. He seemed a bit stunned, then gathered himself, gave me a big smile, and said “anche’te.”

Our short interaction was a blessing for both us. I felt grateful for our exchange.

Today’s TNT:

Keep an eye out for the blessings in your life. They may come in unexpected ways.

As always, I would love to hear your comments.

With love, Theresa

Feeling stuck?  Or ready for a change and would like support? I would love to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.

Website: www.reconnecting2you.com

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

 Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy

To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page.

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) More Will Be Revealed   Leave a comment

Dear Friends,

I began writing “this week’s” blog last week. Like many of you, my emotions have been up and down after last Tuesday’s election. After a tumultuous campaign season, although it’s only been a week since the election, it feels more like years.

I voted for Bernie Sanders in the primary.  Perhaps you did, as well, or were a Hillary or Trump supporter.  Regardless of who we voted for, one thing is certain – we share a common goal – our desire for love, contentment and happiness is universal.

I am dismayed by the violence of protestors – whether they be for or against Donald Trump. The emotions we are experiencing – on all sides – must be channeled constructively for true and lasting change.

As I reflect on the conflict here, at home, and around the world, I can’t help but think of our brains’ primitive survival mechanism to fight or flee: an automatic response that fuels conflict and war – both interpersonal and global, when we perceive a threat. When we act on automatic pilot, we forget that we have a choice for how we respond – but it takes  but it takes discipline and effort. (Think of the last time you reacted to something a loved one said? It’s easy to let ourselves get triggered.)

So with emotions flying high, how do we reconnect – person to person – and find our common ground? How do we listen, with respect and understanding, to what our brothers and sisters are saying without getting lost in a web of fear and hate? Communication is our greatest ally, when we allow ourselves to listen to what one another is saying – underneath the rhetoric.

What goes up must come down. Change is a never ending cycle. Call me naive, but what we perceive as the worst-case scenario now, can bring deep healing and change in the future. As spiritual leaders have told us throughout the centuries, change begins within ourselves. We are not powerless, but how we use our power is essential for the good of all concerned.

Who do we wish to be in the midst of our current political climate, knowing that the energy we put out has an effect on ourselves and the world at large? Our thoughts, behaviors and emotions contribute to love or fear. What do we wish to create in spite of what others are doing?

As Martin Luther King Jr. so graciously wrote in his book Strength To Love in 1963 applies just as much, if not more, now:

“At the center of nonviolence stands then principle of love. The non-violent resister would contend that in the struggle for human dignity the oppressed people of the world must not succumb to the temptation of becoming bitter and indulging in hate campaigns. To retaliate in kind would do nothing but intensify the existence of hate in the universe. Along the way of life, someone must have the sense and morality enough to cut off the chain of hate. This can only be done by projecting the ethic of love to the center of our lives.”

As I contemplate Dr. King’s words, I feel a sense of expansion, and am filled with peace and love. If it feels right to you, I invite you to let his words resonate deep within you. And, should you feel inspired to take action on local or global issues, how do you wish to contribute? Tune in to your heart and listen. If time and resources are not within your current means, sending love is just as powerful an action as others.

In times of doubt or fear, which we are all likely to experience, here are four ways to reconnect to strength and love:

1.  Respond. When tempted to react to what you see or hear, take a breath, walk away, and take a moment to calm down. So often, in the heat of emotion, we are tempted to lash out and react, creating fear and suffering for ourselves and others. Giving yourself the time and space required to calm down will allow you to respond with greater confidence and power.

2.  Take Inspired Action. Quiet the mind and listen to your heart. Your actions will be more effective and your decisions more impactful.

3.  Develop Loving Backbone: Don’t worry about what others are doing or saying. Take a stand for the values you believe in without getting caught in a wave of emotion, blame or judgment. Let the wisdom of your inner voice guide you.

4.  Self-Care. When feeling anxious or out of sorts, ask yourself what you need to do to restore harmony and balance. Then honor yourself and take appropriate actions.

Although our state of affairs may look dire and confusing at the moment, we can only see a small fraction of the picture. More will be revealed.

With love,

Theresa

If you know someone who would find this post helpful, please share.

Would you like to experience greater joy and balance in your life? Or have a goal you desire to achieve?

Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a 30-minute Complimentary Coaching Consultation. It would be a pleasure to speak with you.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.

To schedule a 30-minute Complimentary Coaching Consultation to learn how you, too, can improve your health and accomplish your desires, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com

Website: www.reconnecting2you.com

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

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