Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Tag

Reducing Holiday Stress: Say “No” to Get to “Yes,” Plus 2 Days Left   Leave a comment

Dear Friends,

Do you find it easy to say “Yes,” to others’ requests, but hard to say “Yes” to yourself?

Do you have a vision or intention for how to spend your holidays, but get hijacked by requests that you have a hard time saying “No” to?

The holidays can be a time of joy and cheer, as well as elicit feelings of stress and pressure.

While we may enjoy all that the holidays offer as we attend parties and other events; decorate our homes; shop for special gifts; visit friends and travel to see relatives and; make our favorite holiday recipes, among other festivities, we can also feel stretched and experience a strain on our time, energy, and financial reserves.

We may rationalize our decision to forgo our own needs, because we don’t want to offend our friends and family members, or risk disapproval from those we love or value.

But saying “No” provides an opportunity for others to grow, and care for themselves, and respect your personal needs.

Here are seven tips, and related questions, to help you gain clarity and take care of yourself this holiday season:

1. Take Inventory

– When are you saying “Yes” when you would rather say “No?”

– Are there particular circumstances or people who present a challenge?

2.  Be Mindful

– How does it feel in your body when you say “Yes” instead of “No?”

– Pay attention to stress and tension.

3.  Is what you fear will happen really true?

– How do you know?

– Is what you’re afraid of happening absolutely true?

– Regardless of what has happened in the past, this is a new moment.

– How can you take care of yourself if what you’re afraid of actually happens?

4.  What is saying “Yes” costing you?

– Are you tired and forfeiting rest?

– Do you have the financial resources to travel or buy expensive presents?

– Do you want to attend the events you’ve been invited to, or go out of obligation and later feel angry or resentful?

– What other costs might there be?

5.  Are you willing to pay the price?

– If you’re answer is “Yes,” do so with awareness. What will the payoffs be?

– If your answer is “No,” what could you do instead” (See #6 below)

6.  Saying “No” takes practice

– If you’re feeling nervous about expressing yourself, you may find it helpful to write down what it is you want to say.

– Then practice with a friend, a coach, or even in the mirror!

7.  Moving Forward

– What qualities do you need to grow inside yourself in order to feel comfortable setting healthy boundaries?

– Reflect on a time you were presented with a challenge and took care of yourself by setting a healthy boundary.

– Notice how the positive sensations feel in your body, and let the feelings flow through you.

– You can also think about how you felt – perhaps you felt a sense of confidence, or felt secure or empowered.

– Let the good feelings soak in as you stay with the experience for five to 20 seconds.

As always, I would love to hear from you.

With love,

Theresa

If you found today’s post helpful, please comment and share.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE BETTER CARE OF YOURSELF THIS HOLIDAY SEASON?

OR

WOULD YOU LIKE TO FEEL MORE CONFIDENT SETTING HEALTHY BOUNDARIES?

TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS MONTH’S SPECIAL OFFER AND SAVE 20% ON  SINGLE COACHING SESSIONS

OFFER VALID THROUGH DECEMBER 1, 2018

BUY NOW AND SCHEDULE WITHIN THE NEXT THREE MONTHS

SHIFT YOUR HOLIDAY EXPERIENCE FROM STRESS TO INNER PEACE

COST:  $120       VALUE $150       YOU SAVE: $30

AVAILABLE INTERNATIONALLY VIA TELEPHONE OR SKYPE 

BUY NOW THROUGH PAYPAL or

Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com for more information and to purchase your coaching sessions.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator, and author with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams, and create healthier, happier, more fulfilling lives.  

 

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

 Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy

To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page

 

 

 

 

 

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Practice Kindness   Leave a comment

“Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.” – Desmond Tutu

I took a bus ride to Aurisina a few days ago – a small town about 15 km from Trieste, in the karst part of the commune of Duino-Aurisina, where I often hike along the Rilke Trail – as I had an appointment for a medical exam.

I noticed a woman, somewhere in her 50’s or 60’s, I would guess, who had gotten up from her seat several rows behind me to stand by the door at the front of the bus, although I didn’t know why. I settled in for the 45-minute bus ride, activated the Duolingo Italian program in my cell phone to keep myself occupied, and looked up along the way to take in the lovely view of the Gulf of Trieste as we progressed up the hill toward my destination.

I lost track of the woman standing at the front of the bus, until we both got off in Aurisina. As this was my first time there, I wasn’t sure where to go, and was scoping out the area. The woman from the bus saw me looking around and came over to direct me. Although she didn’t speak English (and I little Italian), we found a way to communicate, and I followed her, as we were both going in the same direction.

Although she was called before me, I finished my exam first, and walked outside to catch the bus to Duino, where I planned to stop for a coffee and walk the Rilke Trail, as it was such a beautiful day.  I missed the bus by seconds, and was waiting for the next one, when the nice lady who helped me appeared and crossed the street to catch the bus that was heading back to Trieste. Her bus approached, but it pulled out before she got on, as she stopped to ask me if I was coming! Our eyes met, and we each shrugged our shoulders in recognition of what had just happened, then she came over to my side of the street and decided to ride with me to Duino! We laughed and talked as best we could, and enjoyed the 20-minute ride. I found out she also likes walking, as she asked me if I would like to get together to go hiking sometime. We exchanged phone numbers, and I heard from her this morning.

We never know when and how connections will be made or what their purpose is. The people we meet along the way provide us with whatever we need at the moment, we do the same for them. It’s one of Life’s gifts and blessings.

THIS WEEK’S TNT

Be open to opportunities to connect with the people around you.

You may not know what gifts they bring or those you’re there to share.

If you like, experiment with using the following affirmation from Chapter 11 from “Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself:”

“My heart is open wide. I spread Kindness everywhere I go.”

Soak in the good feelings as you think of  a time you experienced someone’s kindness or a time when you were kind.

Let the feelings fill your body for two or more breaths.  And notice how your energy shifts.

Then be open to the possibilities Life provides you to connect with those around you.

With love, Theresa

“ALPHABET AFFIRMATIONS: TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE AND LOVE YOURSELF” IS AN EASY TO USE E-BOOK, AND EMPOWERING PROCESS, THAT CAN HELP YOU REVAMP YOUR MINDSET AND LIVE THE LIFE THAT YOU DESIRE.

HERE’S WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING:

“Theresa’s book and techniques will help guide you on your path to transformation. When you create a life you love and are grateful for your life, mind, body and spirit receive the love message and all benefit.”   Bernie Siegel, M.D., Author of 365 Prescriptions For The Soul 

“A beautiful and simple concept – as easy as ABC! This sweet book offers a creative way to counter the leanings of the mind and provides exercises to stay buoyant and positive — and it offers a section to add even more affirmations to the mix! How cool is that? A great book to have on hand as a reminder that every moment is a new moment and it “affirms” that one can transform their thoughts and their lives in a quick minute. My favorite letter is Q!” – S.G.

AVAILABLE ON AMAZON

https://goo.gl/DSEpCY

If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal.  It’s here:
 paypal.me/Reconnecting2You
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Author, and Workshop Facilitator with more 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives.

Read the rest of this entry »

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Just Say “No”   Leave a comment

“Although it may feel uncomfortable to think about saying no, it’s important to remember that each time you say yes to someone, or something else, you say no to you and your priorities.” – Oprah Winfrey

We want to be kind. We want to be loved. We want to give because it feels good, and we want to be generous with our gifts, talents, abilities and time. But how often do we say “yes” to requests from friends, colleagues, family members, and others, when we know, within our heart of hearts, that it means taking time away from caring for ourselves?

Saying “no” can conjure up feelings of guilt and shame, because we may think it’s self-centered, and be afraid that others may judge us. But people learn how to treat us by how we treat ourselves.

Giving and receiving is an art of balance. But how can we achieve it? Change begins with awareness. Are you aware of how often you say “yes” when you would rather say “no?” The answer may surprise you!

THIS WEEK’S TNT

This week, make not of how many times you say “yes,” when you would rather say “no.”

Keep a record in a small notebook or make a list on your phone.

Notice how you feel when you say “yes” to something you don’t want to do.

Do you feel resentful, angry, frustrated, stressed, or exhausted?

Your body is giving you clues!

At the end of the week, add up the number of entries in your notebook.

Then,  make a list of five things you would like to say “no” to.

Start with something small.

You don’t need to explain or justify yourself.

Don’t know what to say?

Here’s a rule of thumb you can follow:

Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don’t say it mean.

Learning to say “no” takes practice. But you can learn how to say it.

The more you practice, the easier it will become.

You will feel better, and while some relationships may fall away, others will deepen and grow.

As always, I would love to hear your comments about how this week’s TNT worked for you and what it is you discovered.

With love, Theresa

If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal.  It’s here:
 paypal.me/Reconnecting2You

Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. Available internationally by Skype and U.S. telephone.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.

Website: www.reconnecting2you.com

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

 Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy

To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Would You Rather Be Right or Happy?   2 comments

“Ever since happiness heard your name, it has been running through the streets trying to find you.” – Hafez

I was first introduced to the question “Would you rather be right or happy?” as a student of A Course in Miracles back in the 1980’s. It was a profound turning point, and changed the way I viewed my relationships and my perceptions of life.

The mind is riddled with judgment and loves to be right, which creates conflict within ourselves and our personal and global relationships.

The state of the world, and the stress we experience, often stem from our thoughts and perceptions. What would happen if we suspended our judgments for just one day and created space to listen and understand one another? To find common ground? And extend love and compassion to ourselves instead of comparing what we have and who we are to others?

Suspending judgment doesn’t mean we accept the status quo or don’t change what isn’t working when our human needs for love and security are neglected. Rather, it calls for questioning whether our judgments and opinions about ourselves, and others, are accurate.

Our happiness resides within and is waiting to be found. Let’s discover it!

THIS WEEKS TNT

Choose one day during the week to experiment.

Stop at regular intervals during the day to take note of your thoughts and perceptions.

Choose an activity that you engage in throughout the day to serve as a reminder to stop and observe what you are thinking.

Take a breath and notice any stress or discomfort in your body as you take note of your thoughts.

Ask yourself if the thought or perception is accurate.

Is it based on the past or the present?

Is it yours or someone else’s?

How else can you view the situation?

What, if any changes, are you aware of?

As always, I would love to hear your comments about how this week’s TNT worked for you and what it is you discovered.

With love,

Theresa

Are you in transition?

Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. Available internationally by Skype and U.S. telephone.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.

Website: www.reconnecting2you.com

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

 Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy

 

To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Blessings   Leave a comment

“Keep a happy heart.” – Joel Osteen

I was laying on the beach today in the heat of the afternoon sun in Sistiana – a lovely one hour and twenty minute boat ride from Trieste. It’s become one of my favorite places to soak in the rays (with sunscreen, of course!), relax, and bask in the beauty of the sea and the Carso.

I brought The New Earth, one of Eckhart Tolle’s books with me, and was having a grand old time relaxing and reading, with occasional breaks to take a dip and view the sea. A young man came by selling hats and asked if I wanted to buy one. He was an immigrant from Africa, whom I later learned was from Senegal. I passed on his offer the first time around – I didn’t feel a need and thought I could do better in town. About a half-hour later, as the sun progressed, I was having trouble keeping the glare out of my eyes while reading and wished he’d return. A few minutes later, he walked by, and like magic, asked if I wanted a hat! “Quanto costa?,” I asked. “Dieci euro,” he replied. Much more than I’m sure it was worth. “Okay,” I said. I chose a hat with flowered print and paid him. As he prepared to leave, I wished him a good day. He seemed a bit stunned, then gathered himself, gave me a big smile, and said “anche’te.”

Our short interaction was a blessing for both us. I felt grateful for our exchange.

Today’s TNT:

Keep an eye out for the blessings in your life. They may come in unexpected ways.

As always, I would love to hear your comments.

With love, Theresa

Feeling stuck?  Or ready for a change and would like support? I would love to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.

Website: www.reconnecting2you.com

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

 Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy

To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page.

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) 3 Sources of Stress and How To Resolve Them   Leave a comment

Preamble

Do you lie awake at night worrying about the day ahead and what’s in store for your future? Living with uncertainty can be frightening and cause undue stress and health issues. This weeks TNT will help you to identify three underlying source of stress and solutions to resolve them.

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool): 3 Sources of Stress and How To Resolve Them

“Every change in the physiological state is accompanied by an appropriate change in the mental-emotional state, conscious or unconscious, and conversely, every change in the mental-emotional state, conscious or unconscious, is accompanied by an appropriate change in the physiological state.” – Elmer Green

Stress comes in two flavors: Eustress, or positive stress, is short term, improves our focus and performance, and brings a sense of joy and fulfillment. It may result from starting a new project or job, taking a long desired trip, or fulfilling a dream or goal. On the other hand, Distress, or negative stress, can be short or long term, stems from fear or worry, can cause insomnia, and lead to anxiety, as well as mental and physical problems.

The following strategies will help you to recognize three sources of stress and solutions to resolve them:

STRESSOR #1:  MENTAL CHATTER

Mental chatter, also known as “The Monkey Mind” occurs when our minds are busy and our thoughts are swinging from one idea to another, without intention or focus. Authorities estimate that we have between 60,000 and 80,000 thoughts per day, and that most of them are repetitive. Research has shown that what we think about has a direct correlation on our mental, emotional and physical health.

SOLUTION:

Take five-minutes at the start of the day to focus and quiet the mind. Examples include guided meditation, breathing exercises, or practices such as Tai Chi, yoga or prayer. As you begin to feel more peaceful, your body and emotions will benefit, your relationships will improve, and your day will go better, as well.

STRESSOR #2:  BELIEFS

Our beliefs are thoughts that have taken root in our consciousness and that may, or may not, be true. They are generally based on past experience and may have little to do with our present situation.

One way to identify a belief is by assessing if what we believe is either “always” or “never” true. Examples of beliefs include “Planes always crash,” “No one hires someone my age,” and “She always complains.” 

Our beliefs effect our actions and the outcomes we receive. As a result, we may talk ourselves out of the goals and dreams we desire to achieve.

SOLUTION:

Start by questioning your beliefs and assessing their validity. Ask yourself if the belief you are examining is always or never true, is an assumption, or based on past experience.

If your beliefs are holding you back, check them out by gathering information and seeking advice and support. For instance, if your dream is to travel, and you are afraid of flying, or going alone, check out the statistics for air travel or talk with people who have traveled solo.

STRESSOR #3: GUILT

If you feel uncomfortable being happy when others are suffering, or think you shouldn’t be wealthy because others aren’t, you may be suffering from the obstacle of guilt.  Denying ourselves the Good we desires keep us stuck and does nothing to serve those we worry or are concerned about.

SOLUTION:

Trust that we are each on our own journey, here to heal and grow. Learn to be channel of love, by spreading love everywhere you go. Tune in to your heart, and seek the answer for how to share your greatest treasure. Giving love may come in the form of a smile, lending a helping hand to someone in need, or may be a financial or other gift. One thing is certain, you will feel a sense of joy and fulfillment, as you give from a place of abundance, knowing all is well. Both you and the receiver will enjoy the blessing.

As always, I would love to hear your comments.

If you know someone who would find this post helpful, please share.

Would you like to experience greater joy and balance in your life? Or have a goal you desire to achieve?

Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a 30-minute Complimentary Coaching Consultation. It would be a pleasure to speak with you.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.

To schedule a 30-minute Complimentary Coaching Consultation to learn how you, too, can improve your health and accomplish your desires, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com

Website: www.reconnecting2you.com

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

 Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy

To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page

Treat Yourself To Love. And, A Free Valentines Gift For You   Leave a comment

Preamble

For those of us living in U.S., today marks our annual celebration of Valentine’s Day, a holiday  designated to acknowledge those we love.

As a special gift to you, it is my great pleasure to offer you a preview of my recently completed e-book, “Alphabet Affirmations To Transform Your Life And Love Yourself.”

Drawing on Positive Psychology and New Thought Philosophy, Alphabet Affirmations uses the letters of the alphabet to transform our consciousness and love ourselves. Alphabet Affirmations contains 78 powerful statements and space to write your own! Coined as “Absolutely Beautiful, Charming and Delightful!” by one reviewer, I would love to share it with you!

Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com for your free copy and awaken to the Love within you.

And, as an extra gift, I invite you to take advantage of this month’s Special Valentine’s Day Offer and save 33% on a 3-Month Coaching Program. See the Announcements Section below for more information.

And now, in keeping with the theme of love, on to this month’s blog, “Treat Yourself to Love.”

Treat Yourself To Love

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao Tzu

dating make you shudder or retreat to your coach to watch reruns of your favorite TV show?

We all desire love. It’s as natural as breathing. We were born to thrive and loving is a necessary component. But we often shelter ourselves and hold back from taking the risk that would lead us to greater happiness and fulfillment.

If you’ve been hiding out, it’s time to try something new and expand your horizons. Here are seven tools, which act like seeds, to help you sprout new roots and blossom:

  1. When looking for true love, the first step in the process is learning to love yourself. Appreciate who you are and honor your gifts and talents. You will become magnetic and attract people who resonate on your level. You will also be inclined to select a partner who respects and treats you well.
  1. Having a partner with similar interests in essential for a thriving relationship. Take note of the activities that bring you joy and are important for you to share. The list will help you choose someone with whom you are well suited.
  1. Are you clam and patient? Energetic and active? Quiet and Reflective? Choosing a partner with a similar temperament will improve your ability to understand and relate to each other.
  1. Brainstorm a list of qualities you want in a partner to ensure a fulfilling relationship Then, prioritize your list and pick the top 10 attributes as your “must have’s.” Kindness, generosity and good communication are three potential examples.
  1. Do the same for characteristics that turn  you off and are top 10 deal-breakers. Swearing, addictions and self-centeredness are three possible examples.
  1. Review your list of interests and choose something you’ve wanted to do, but have been afraid to try, and do it. Pick something small enough to get you started, but big enough to stretch you, than build on your success. Doing what you love provides opportunities to meet others who share mutual interests.
  1. Have fun with the process and don’t be attached to outcomes.

Wishing you a love-filled journey!
Theresa

Disclaimer: As with any exercise or process, the choice to use it is at your own risk and is your personal responsibility.

Announcements:

Special Valentine’s Day Offer: Enjoy a 33% Discount On A 3-Month Coaching Program

This nine (9) session coaching program will create a solid foundation for your life.

We will begin with a 90-minute Discovery Session, in which we take stock of your life, identify your needs, and create goals that allow you to experience greater health, happiness and fulfillment. This powerful process will help you to gain clarity and direction about your life path and establish an action plan to move you forward.

During our weekly coaching calls, we will work together to address your needs and goals, both immediate and long term; identify and work through blocks that may be standing in the way of your success; brainstorm and test out options to realize your dreams and goals in ways that resonate most strongly with your personal essence, and develop a strategic plan, with clear action steps, and a specific timetable, for reaching your goals.

Your 3-Month Coaching Program includes:

  • A 90-minute Discover Session
  • Eight (8) one-hour coaching sessions by telephone or Skype
  • Recordings of your coaching calls when provided by telephone
  • Unlimited email support
  • Assessments and exercises tailored to your individual needs
  • Three fifteen minute booster, as needed, within the coaching period.

Your Cost: $868       Regular Price: $1295       You Save: $427

For more information and to purchase your coaching program, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com.  It would be my pleasure to serve you.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients transform their stress into harmony and balance, so they can realize their dreams, and live healthier, happier, more fulfilling lives.  To learn more, visit Theresa’s website or email her at Theresa@reconnecting2you.com

Website: www.reconnecting2you.com

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

 Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy

To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page

www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

%d bloggers like this: