Archive for the ‘Safety’ Tag

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) 12 Steps to Organize Your Project   Leave a comment

“Sometimes if you’re not sure about something you just have to jump off the bridge and grow your wings on the way down.” – Danielle Steel

Today, I created a list of my top seven goals (who needs to wait until the New Year?); things I’ve been thinking about, but haven’t been acting on – at least not with an organized plan! Among my top three goals is publishing my next book, which will include 365 Tip ‘N Tools (one for each day of the year) on topics such as joy, health, safety, love, and belonging, among others. My mission is to inspire my readers to reconnect to their inner being, enhance their sense of happiness, and provide support to help them take consistent actions to fulfill their goals and dreams. The book will be based on more than 25 years of experience working with clients in the coaching, healing, and training fields.

I chose my writing project as the first among my seven goals to organize. Next, I created a plan to bridge the gap between where I am am now (just starting) and a date I deemed realistic for publishing my book. I then broke the project down into 12 steps I need to take, along with timelines, in order to reach my publication date. The process I just outlined helped me to organize and visualize my project in an orderly and doable way.

It’s easy to procrastinate on the things we would like to do, or experience, until we have a plan and take committed action. And when we do, we build our confidence, and feel energized and hopeful.

THIS WEEK’S TNT: 12 Steps to Organize Your Project

Step 1: Brainstorm a list of one to seven goals you would like to achieve, but haven’t yet acted on, or created a plan to attain it.

Step 2: From the list of goals you brainstormed, choose one that most energizes and excites you.

***Step 3: Decide on a realistic date for accomplishing it.***

Step 4: “Bridge the gap,” by breaking your goal down into manageable and achievable steps you know you can accomplish.

Stretch yourself, but make the steps attainable.

For instance, if you want to write a book, one step might be researching publishers who publish the type of content you wish to write about.

Step 5: Create realistic timelines for completing each of the steps you outlined above, in order to reach your target date.

Step 6: See if the date for completing your project lines up with your timelines, or if you need to adjust it.

For instance, using the example of publishing a book, if your target date for publication is February 30, 2019, but it will take you until April 1, 2019 to complete all of the steps in your plan, adjust your target date accordingly.

If you like, schedule each step into your calendar to remind you of your actions, and reinforce your timelines.

Step 7:  Print out your action plan and place it where you can see it.

Step 8: Create a plan to address resistance, when and if it should occur.

For instance, you can talk with a supportive friend, join a writer’s group (if writing is your goal), or hire a coach or other professional who can help you through the process.

You can also reflect on what’s getting in the way, and how you can address it.

Step 9: Follow-through on the steps you have committed to.

Step 10: If you find yourself struggling, imagine yourself being support, and carried along by the process.

Step 11: Acknowledge each step you complete and celebrate your successes!

For instance, as you complete each piece of your plan, stop and savor the feelings of satisfaction, joy, and achievement.  

Step 12: Use the same process to complete your other projects when you’re ready!

As long as you keep moving forward, you’re guaranteed to cross the bridge!

***Note: You can also write your timelines first, and then establish your projected completion date.


Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing Practitioner, Author and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams, and create healthier, happier and more fulfilling lives.

You can find her book, “Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself,”  on Amazon.


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Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Trust Your Gut   Leave a comment

“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you’re heading.” – Lao Tzu

Change can be both exhilarating and scary. Whether we wish to change careers, sell or purchase a home, move to a new city or country, begin or end a relationship, or do anything that’s new, the future is unknown and can prompt feelings of fear and insecurity.

A few months ago, I had a chat with an American woman who has been living in Trieste for 15 years or so. She works for an American support organization, and has watched people who have relocated from abroad come and go. I had been feeling a bit lonely the day I saw her, and was longing for connections on a deeper, more personal level. She said I was at a crisis point, wondering if I would ever learn the language, make closer friends, establish a clientele, learn the subtleties between cultures, etc. I felt like she was a mindreader and was inside of my head! The thing that helped me most was when she said that what I was feeling was common and the point at which most people left and returned home. Wow. Although I had no intention of moving,  it made perfect sense and gave me a new perspective.

The challenges that come with change are true with any endeavor. The reptilian part of our brains are hard-wired to keep us safe, so we’re bound to question our decisions, and wonder if we’re on the right path when feelings of doubt and insecurity rear their frightening heads. Our ancestors were on alert for their physical safety, and had to fight or flee when their environment was threatened.  In modern times, the “old” brain kicks in when it perceives an emotional threat, and can stop us in our tracks.

I still feel lonely and insecure from time to time, however, I remind myself that what I’m feeling is natural; take a breath; reach out for support, when needed; and move on.

Fear is a common occurrence and something we are bound to experience when we stretch our comfort zones and embark on something new. The key is recognizing where the fear is stemming from, and tapping in to our Inner Strength and the wisdom of our guts.


What change have you been wanting to make, but have been afraid of doing so?

On a scale of “1” to “10,” with “1” Not At All Important and “10” Extremely Important, how important is the change you wish to make?

What’s holding you back?

Notice the feelings that emerge. Are you scared, excited, happy, terrified?

Are the thoughts that you’re thinking true and serving you? Or are they assumptions based on beliefs that are trying to keep you safe?

Take a breath and call on your Inner Wisdom.

What feels right for you to do?

Ask your gut, not your head!

What brings a feeling of deep peace and inner contentment?

Your gut will serve to guide you.

With love, Theresa

Need help changing your thoughts and perceptions? 

“Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself” is an empowering  tool that may help you make the changes you desire, and create a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life.

Available on Amazon. 

If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal.  It’s here:
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Author, and Workshop Facilitator with more 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives.

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Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Living In Your Sweet Spot   Leave a comment


I first heard the phrase “Sweet Spot” uttered by my father in relation to the number of strokes he could swim in the Atlantic Ocean. The phrase stuck with me through my childhood and re-emerged several years ago when speaking with a colleague about where in the world to live.

I love closing my eyes and imagining living in my sweet spot, whether it be related to work, a relationship or an adventure I would like to take. Visualizing my sweet spot elicits feelings of love, prosperity and a deep sense of joy and fulfillment.

We all have our personal sweet spots – some that we know of and some yet to be discovered.

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Living In Your Sweet Spot

“Life is too short to waste time in the wrong place.” – Joel Osteen

Are you in a job, a relationship, or other situation that drains you? Do you wake in the morning dreading the day? Do you settle for less because you’re afraid of stepping out of your comfort zone and taking a risk that jeopardizes the life you’re accustomed to? Or are you tired of the same old, same old, and ready to try something new?

The status quo provides a measure of safety, but it comes at a definite cost.

When I was in my early 20’s, I was in a dysfunctional marriage and was afraid to leave, because I wasn’t sure I would be able to support my son and I. Looking back, it’s clear to see that when I was ready to take a leap of faith, and file the papers, the universe was there to catch me. I have experienced this phenomenon repeatedly. Most recently when I left New York and began a new life in Trieste. Although your intentions may be different than mine the same can happen for you.

Change can be both exhilarating and scary. It opens new doors, provides new opportunities, and helps us flourish and grow. However, when fear or doubt set in, we may unconsciously sabotage ourselves by thinking the worst, rather than the best, case scenario.

In his book, “Hardwiring Happiness,” Rick Hanson, Ph.D. writes the following:

        “…in general, the default setting of the brain is to overestimate threats, underestimate opportunities,  and underestimate resources, both for coping with threats and for fulfilling opportunities. Then we update these beliefs with information that confirms them, while ignoring or rejecting information that doesn’t.”

I find Dr. Hanson’s research empowering.

Making a major change can present challenges and leave us feeling vulnerable. However, challenges also come with breakthroughs. For instance, I am in the process of making new friends and speak little Italian. I recently told a few acquaintances that I had been feeling lonely and asked if they would like to get together for dinner or an aperativo. Voila! The next day, I was invited to go sailing! (Hence, the delayed Tip ‘N Tool!)

Being vulnerable may feel uncomfortable, but it can lead to greater happiness and fulfillment.


What change would you like to make in your life?

Write down your vision in detail.

Then close your eyes and imagine it has already happened.

Let the good feelings sink in for 10-20 seconds.

Repeat as necessary.

It will change your vibrational chemistry and open new doors and opportunities.

When you find yourself doubting the possibility, remind yourself that it’s only a belief and connect with people who support you.

As always, I would love to hear your comments.

With love,


Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Email to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. Available internationally by Skype and U.S. telephone.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.



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Leave the Harbor!   Leave a comment


Are you moored (bored?) or ready to set sail and leave the safety of the harbor?

Saturday marked my one month anniversary of having set sail for Italy to explore the possibility of moving here. I am having a wonderful experience, however, it’s not always bread and roses. I am traveling solo, and there are time when I experience fear, doubt, and question the sanity of my decision to extend my trip and remain until January.

A couple of weeks ago, I reached out to a friend for support.  In response, she sent me a link to the blog below.  It is with great pleasure that I share it with you, should you need a little inspiration to leave the safety of the harbor.

As for me, in addition to my expedition to Italy, I am exploring the wonders of nature and recently spent a week in Austria. The photo (which you can see by signing up on my mailing list) was taken during my drive across the Grossglockner High Alpine Road.

Thanks Keith! There are time when we all need a little encouragement and inspiration.

“Leave the Harbor!” is reprinted with permission from Keith Smith, Author & Musician.

“A Ship in the Harbor is Safe, but That’s Not What Ships Are Built For.” – John A. Shedd

Comfort.  Security.  Stability.  Familiar.  We all want our lives to have these things, and yet, we also want to accomplish great things, be extraordinary, experience new and wonderful things.  Sometimes we nearly succeed in convincing ourselves that we can have much, but risk little.  This simply is not true.  Any worthwhile endeavor, any good thing worth the effort it takes to obtain it will have attached to it an element of risk.  Finding your true love is amazing, life changing and euphoric yet there is the risk of being hurt or rejected.  Discovering your purpose in life is indescribably fulfilling, yet there is the risk of being misunderstood or even unappreciated.


Using the analogy contained in the quote at the beginning of this article, your life is like a ship.  You can anchor your life in the harbor, in the familiar surroundings you’ve grown accustomed to, and never risk a change of any kind.  This is safe, right?  The problem is that this is not what the ship (your life) was built for!  The ship (your life) was designed to move, to experience new surroundings, arrive at new destinations and all the while making the journey an adventure!  If a ship never leaves the harbor it will eventually decay to the point of becoming useless because it wasn’t designed to be stagnant.  It was designed to sail out of the harbor, bravely entering the vastness of the open sea and all of its possibilities.  The same is true of your life and mine.

It’s so easy to get “caught up” in life.  The bills, the kids, the job, the house, and somewhere, way down at the bottom of our to-do list, we pencil in our dreams.  You know what?  No one ever gets around to doing the last thing on their to-do list!


If we are to be successful, fulfilled and truly happy we must leave the harbor.  Each of us are unique and have something no one else does.  We’re all human with the same basic needs, and heck, we probably even all share the same universal consciousness, but we are still unique!  I am different than you and you are different than me!  We each have our own viewpoint, interpretation, and thoughts about people and our world.  I read something in a book recently that said that “the world needs what we have to offer.  If it didn’t, we wouldn’t be here!”  If we stay anchored in the harbor, how can we make a difference in the world?

“Do One Thing Every Day That Scares You.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Are there opportunities for you, right now, that perhaps you’ve been putting off or avoiding?  Are there actions you could be taking that you know would set you on the path to success and fulfillment?  Has fear of the unknown, failure or rejection kept you stationary?  Has the effort required to sail your life into the sea of possibility kept you anchored in the harbor?

I am choosing, right this moment, to not allow fear or any form of laziness to stagnate my life.  I’ve hoisted anchor, my ship is moving toward the open sea.  As I stand on the bow, the wind in my face and the salty spray fills the air around me, I am both wonderfully frightened and emboldened for what lies ahead.  It is unknown and full of possibility.  I embrace the adventure of the journey as much as I will embrace my destination.

I hope to see you out there…..

“He Who is Brave is Free.” – Seneca

To read other blogs written by Keith Smith, visit

If you know someone who might find this blog helpful, please share.


In keeping with my personal call and journey, I will be working from Italy this fall. As always, I am available for coaching and distant Reconnective Healing appointments via telephone and Skype. To schedule an appointment, or learn more about the work, please email or call me  at 1-718-618-4300 (a free call anywhere within the United States).


If so, I would love to connect with you! Please join me on Facebook, where I will be posting insights and photos about my journey.  To receive the posts, and/or add your comments, click on the Facebook link below. Be sure to click on the “Follow” button on the upper right hand column to receive the posts.  To sign up on my mailing list, click the “Join My List” button, located on the left hand side of my Facebook page.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach and Reconnective Healing Practitioner with more than 25 years experience in the healing field.  She specializes in helping her clients gain clarity and direction about their life paths, resulting in greater health, happiness and fulfillment.  To join Theresa’s mailing list, click the “Join” icon on her Facebook page or email her at


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