Archive for the ‘Security’ Tag

Reducing Holiday Stress: Say “No” to Get to “Yes,” Plus 2 Days Left   Leave a comment

Dear Friends,

Do you find it easy to say “Yes,” to others’ requests, but hard to say “Yes” to yourself?

Do you have a vision or intention for how to spend your holidays, but get hijacked by requests that you have a hard time saying “No” to?

The holidays can be a time of joy and cheer, as well as elicit feelings of stress and pressure.

While we may enjoy all that the holidays offer as we attend parties and other events; decorate our homes; shop for special gifts; visit friends and travel to see relatives and; make our favorite holiday recipes, among other festivities, we can also feel stretched and experience a strain on our time, energy, and financial reserves.

We may rationalize our decision to forgo our own needs, because we don’t want to offend our friends and family members, or risk disapproval from those we love or value.

But saying “No” provides an opportunity for others to grow, and care for themselves, and respect your personal needs.

Here are seven tips, and related questions, to help you gain clarity and take care of yourself this holiday season:

1. Take Inventory

– When are you saying “Yes” when you would rather say “No?”

– Are there particular circumstances or people who present a challenge?

2.  Be Mindful

– How does it feel in your body when you say “Yes” instead of “No?”

– Pay attention to stress and tension.

3.  Is what you fear will happen really true?

– How do you know?

– Is what you’re afraid of happening absolutely true?

– Regardless of what has happened in the past, this is a new moment.

– How can you take care of yourself if what you’re afraid of actually happens?

4.  What is saying “Yes” costing you?

– Are you tired and forfeiting rest?

– Do you have the financial resources to travel or buy expensive presents?

– Do you want to attend the events you’ve been invited to, or go out of obligation and later feel angry or resentful?

– What other costs might there be?

5.  Are you willing to pay the price?

– If you’re answer is “Yes,” do so with awareness. What will the payoffs be?

– If your answer is “No,” what could you do instead” (See #6 below)

6.  Saying “No” takes practice

– If you’re feeling nervous about expressing yourself, you may find it helpful to write down what it is you want to say.

– Then practice with a friend, a coach, or even in the mirror!

7.  Moving Forward

– What qualities do you need to grow inside yourself in order to feel comfortable setting healthy boundaries?

– Reflect on a time you were presented with a challenge and took care of yourself by setting a healthy boundary.

– Notice how the positive sensations feel in your body, and let the feelings flow through you.

– You can also think about how you felt – perhaps you felt a sense of confidence, or felt secure or empowered.

– Let the good feelings soak in as you stay with the experience for five to 20 seconds.

As always, I would love to hear from you.

With love,

Theresa

If you found today’s post helpful, please comment and share.

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Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator, and author with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams, and create healthier, happier, more fulfilling lives.  

 

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Leave the Harbor!   Leave a comment

Preamble

Are you moored (bored?) or ready to set sail and leave the safety of the harbor?

Saturday marked my one month anniversary of having set sail for Italy to explore the possibility of moving here. I am having a wonderful experience, however, it’s not always bread and roses. I am traveling solo, and there are time when I experience fear, doubt, and question the sanity of my decision to extend my trip and remain until January.

A couple of weeks ago, I reached out to a friend for support.  In response, she sent me a link to the blog below.  It is with great pleasure that I share it with you, should you need a little inspiration to leave the safety of the harbor.

As for me, in addition to my expedition to Italy, I am exploring the wonders of nature and recently spent a week in Austria. The photo (which you can see by signing up on my mailing list) was taken during my drive across the Grossglockner High Alpine Road.

Thanks Keith! There are time when we all need a little encouragement and inspiration.

“Leave the Harbor!” is reprinted with permission from Keith Smith, Author & Musician.

“A Ship in the Harbor is Safe, but That’s Not What Ships Are Built For.” – John A. Shedd

Comfort.  Security.  Stability.  Familiar.  We all want our lives to have these things, and yet, we also want to accomplish great things, be extraordinary, experience new and wonderful things.  Sometimes we nearly succeed in convincing ourselves that we can have much, but risk little.  This simply is not true.  Any worthwhile endeavor, any good thing worth the effort it takes to obtain it will have attached to it an element of risk.  Finding your true love is amazing, life changing and euphoric yet there is the risk of being hurt or rejected.  Discovering your purpose in life is indescribably fulfilling, yet there is the risk of being misunderstood or even unappreciated.

SAIL YOUR SHIP!

Using the analogy contained in the quote at the beginning of this article, your life is like a ship.  You can anchor your life in the harbor, in the familiar surroundings you’ve grown accustomed to, and never risk a change of any kind.  This is safe, right?  The problem is that this is not what the ship (your life) was built for!  The ship (your life) was designed to move, to experience new surroundings, arrive at new destinations and all the while making the journey an adventure!  If a ship never leaves the harbor it will eventually decay to the point of becoming useless because it wasn’t designed to be stagnant.  It was designed to sail out of the harbor, bravely entering the vastness of the open sea and all of its possibilities.  The same is true of your life and mine.

It’s so easy to get “caught up” in life.  The bills, the kids, the job, the house, and somewhere, way down at the bottom of our to-do list, we pencil in our dreams.  You know what?  No one ever gets around to doing the last thing on their to-do list!

LIKE NO OTHER

If we are to be successful, fulfilled and truly happy we must leave the harbor.  Each of us are unique and have something no one else does.  We’re all human with the same basic needs, and heck, we probably even all share the same universal consciousness, but we are still unique!  I am different than you and you are different than me!  We each have our own viewpoint, interpretation, and thoughts about people and our world.  I read something in a book recently that said that “the world needs what we have to offer.  If it didn’t, we wouldn’t be here!”  If we stay anchored in the harbor, how can we make a difference in the world?

“Do One Thing Every Day That Scares You.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Are there opportunities for you, right now, that perhaps you’ve been putting off or avoiding?  Are there actions you could be taking that you know would set you on the path to success and fulfillment?  Has fear of the unknown, failure or rejection kept you stationary?  Has the effort required to sail your life into the sea of possibility kept you anchored in the harbor?

I am choosing, right this moment, to not allow fear or any form of laziness to stagnate my life.  I’ve hoisted anchor, my ship is moving toward the open sea.  As I stand on the bow, the wind in my face and the salty spray fills the air around me, I am both wonderfully frightened and emboldened for what lies ahead.  It is unknown and full of possibility.  I embrace the adventure of the journey as much as I will embrace my destination.

I hope to see you out there…..

“He Who is Brave is Free.” – Seneca

To read other blogs written by Keith Smith, visit http://www.straightupliving.com.

If you know someone who might find this blog helpful, please share.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

In keeping with my personal call and journey, I will be working from Italy this fall. As always, I am available for coaching and distant Reconnective Healing appointments via telephone and Skype. To schedule an appointment, or learn more about the work, please email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or call me  at 1-718-618-4300 (a free call anywhere within the United States).

WANT TO BRING A TASTE OF ITALY INTO YOUR HOME?

If so, I would love to connect with you! Please join me on Facebook, where I will be posting insights and photos about my journey.  To receive the posts, and/or add your comments, click on the Facebook link below. Be sure to click on the “Follow” button on the upper right hand column to receive the posts.  To sign up on my mailing list, click the “Join My List” button, located on the left hand side of my Facebook page.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach and Reconnective Healing Practitioner with more than 25 years experience in the healing field.  She specializes in helping her clients gain clarity and direction about their life paths, resulting in greater health, happiness and fulfillment.  To join Theresa’s mailing list, click the “Join” icon on her Facebook page or email her at Theresa@reconnecting2you.com

Website: www.reconnecting2you.com

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