Archive for the ‘Stress’ Tag

Reducing Holiday Stress: Say “No” to Get to “Yes,” Plus 2 Days Left   Leave a comment

Dear Friends,

Do you find it easy to say “Yes,” to others’ requests, but hard to say “Yes” to yourself?

Do you have a vision or intention for how to spend your holidays, but get hijacked by requests that you have a hard time saying “No” to?

The holidays can be a time of joy and cheer, as well as elicit feelings of stress and pressure.

While we may enjoy all that the holidays offer as we attend parties and other events; decorate our homes; shop for special gifts; visit friends and travel to see relatives and; make our favorite holiday recipes, among other festivities, we can also feel stretched and experience a strain on our time, energy, and financial reserves.

We may rationalize our decision to forgo our own needs, because we don’t want to offend our friends and family members, or risk disapproval from those we love or value.

But saying “No” provides an opportunity for others to grow, and care for themselves, and respect your personal needs.

Here are seven tips, and related questions, to help you gain clarity and take care of yourself this holiday season:

1. Take Inventory

– When are you saying “Yes” when you would rather say “No?”

– Are there particular circumstances or people who present a challenge?

2.  Be Mindful

– How does it feel in your body when you say “Yes” instead of “No?”

– Pay attention to stress and tension.

3.  Is what you fear will happen really true?

– How do you know?

– Is what you’re afraid of happening absolutely true?

– Regardless of what has happened in the past, this is a new moment.

– How can you take care of yourself if what you’re afraid of actually happens?

4.  What is saying “Yes” costing you?

– Are you tired and forfeiting rest?

– Do you have the financial resources to travel or buy expensive presents?

– Do you want to attend the events you’ve been invited to, or go out of obligation and later feel angry or resentful?

– What other costs might there be?

5.  Are you willing to pay the price?

– If you’re answer is “Yes,” do so with awareness. What will the payoffs be?

– If your answer is “No,” what could you do instead” (See #6 below)

6.  Saying “No” takes practice

– If you’re feeling nervous about expressing yourself, you may find it helpful to write down what it is you want to say.

– Then practice with a friend, a coach, or even in the mirror!

7.  Moving Forward

– What qualities do you need to grow inside yourself in order to feel comfortable setting healthy boundaries?

– Reflect on a time you were presented with a challenge and took care of yourself by setting a healthy boundary.

– Notice how the positive sensations feel in your body, and let the feelings flow through you.

– You can also think about how you felt – perhaps you felt a sense of confidence, or felt secure or empowered.

– Let the good feelings soak in as you stay with the experience for five to 20 seconds.

As always, I would love to hear from you.

With love,

Theresa

If you found today’s post helpful, please comment and share.

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Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator, and author with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams, and create healthier, happier, more fulfilling lives.  

 

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Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Stress Less. Charge Your Life   Leave a comment

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” George Bernard Shaw

Reducing your stress has the implications of strengthening your immune system and lowering your cortisol levels, which in turn reduces inflammation and improves your overall health.

I’ve been feeling a bit under the weather these last few days and have been coloring in one of the coloring books I purchased when I was in Barcelona for a week’s vacation last November. I flipped through the pages, found a design I liked by Joan Fabre’ I Oliver, and have been keeping the book on my living room counter, open to the page I’m coloring, to give me easy access. Each time I walk by, I take a peek, and when I feel inspired, stop for a minute or two or five and color another piece. I just finished coloring in the sides with Faber Castell’s Middle Purple Pink! When I finished the section, I stood for a moment and noticed how light, calm and healthy I felt.

We often think of reducing stress as a stressful thing to do – and something we have to work at. But what if we had a paradigm shift and saw stress as an opportunity to be more playful?

THIS WEEK’S TNT

Do something every day that makes you smile,  lights you up and brings a sense of joy and playfulness.

Then stop and notice how good you feel and let the positive sensations soak in.

Doing so on a regular basis will reduce your stress and improve your sense of happiness.

With love,

Theresa

STRESS LESS. CHARGE YOUR LIFE.

“ALPHABET AFFIRMATIONS: TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE AND LOVE YOURSELF” IS AN EASY AND EMPOWERING PROCESS, THAT CAN HELP YOU REDUCE YORU STRESS AND CHARGE YOUR LIFE WITH  GREATER HEALTH AND HAPPINESS.

PURCHASE YOUR COPY ON AMAZON.

https://goo.gl/DSEpCY

HERE’S WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING:

“Theresa’s book and techniques will help guide you on your path to transformation. When you create a life you love and are grateful for your life, mind, body and spirit receive the love message and all benefit.”   Bernie Siegel, M.D., Author of 365 Prescriptions For The Soul 

“A beautiful and simple concept – as easy as ABC! This sweet book offers a creative way to counter the leanings of the mind and provides exercises to stay buoyant and positive — and it offers a section to add even more affirmations to the mix! How cool is that? A great book to have on hand as a reminder that every moment is a new moment and it “affirms” that one can transform their thoughts and their lives in a quick minute. My favorite letter is Q!” – S.G.

FIND IT ON AMAZON

https://goo.gl/DSEpCY

If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal.  It’s here:
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Author, and Workshop Facilitator with more 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives.

Website: www.reconnecting2you.com

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

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To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2youda

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Practice Kindness   Leave a comment

“Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.” – Desmond Tutu

I took a bus ride to Aurisina a few days ago – a small town about 15 km from Trieste, in the karst part of the commune of Duino-Aurisina, where I often hike along the Rilke Trail – as I had an appointment for a medical exam.

I noticed a woman, somewhere in her 50’s or 60’s, I would guess, who had gotten up from her seat several rows behind me to stand by the door at the front of the bus, although I didn’t know why. I settled in for the 45-minute bus ride, activated the Duolingo Italian program in my cell phone to keep myself occupied, and looked up along the way to take in the lovely view of the Gulf of Trieste as we progressed up the hill toward my destination.

I lost track of the woman standing at the front of the bus, until we both got off in Aurisina. As this was my first time there, I wasn’t sure where to go, and was scoping out the area. The woman from the bus saw me looking around and came over to direct me. Although she didn’t speak English (and I little Italian), we found a way to communicate, and I followed her, as we were both going in the same direction.

Although she was called before me, I finished my exam first, and walked outside to catch the bus to Duino, where I planned to stop for a coffee and walk the Rilke Trail, as it was such a beautiful day.  I missed the bus by seconds, and was waiting for the next one, when the nice lady who helped me appeared and crossed the street to catch the bus that was heading back to Trieste. Her bus approached, but it pulled out before she got on, as she stopped to ask me if I was coming! Our eyes met, and we each shrugged our shoulders in recognition of what had just happened, then she came over to my side of the street and decided to ride with me to Duino! We laughed and talked as best we could, and enjoyed the 20-minute ride. I found out she also likes walking, as she asked me if I would like to get together to go hiking sometime. We exchanged phone numbers, and I heard from her this morning.

We never know when and how connections will be made or what their purpose is. The people we meet along the way provide us with whatever we need at the moment, we do the same for them. It’s one of Life’s gifts and blessings.

THIS WEEK’S TNT

Be open to opportunities to connect with the people around you.

You may not know what gifts they bring or those you’re there to share.

If you like, experiment with using the following affirmation from Chapter 11 from “Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself:”

“My heart is open wide. I spread Kindness everywhere I go.”

Soak in the good feelings as you think of  a time you experienced someone’s kindness or a time when you were kind.

Let the feelings fill your body for two or more breaths.  And notice how your energy shifts.

Then be open to the possibilities Life provides you to connect with those around you.

With love, Theresa

“ALPHABET AFFIRMATIONS: TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE AND LOVE YOURSELF” IS AN EASY TO USE E-BOOK, AND EMPOWERING PROCESS, THAT CAN HELP YOU REVAMP YOUR MINDSET AND LIVE THE LIFE THAT YOU DESIRE.

HERE’S WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING:

“Theresa’s book and techniques will help guide you on your path to transformation. When you create a life you love and are grateful for your life, mind, body and spirit receive the love message and all benefit.”   Bernie Siegel, M.D., Author of 365 Prescriptions For The Soul 

“A beautiful and simple concept – as easy as ABC! This sweet book offers a creative way to counter the leanings of the mind and provides exercises to stay buoyant and positive — and it offers a section to add even more affirmations to the mix! How cool is that? A great book to have on hand as a reminder that every moment is a new moment and it “affirms” that one can transform their thoughts and their lives in a quick minute. My favorite letter is Q!” – S.G.

AVAILABLE ON AMAZON

https://goo.gl/DSEpCY

If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal.  It’s here:
 paypal.me/Reconnecting2You
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Author, and Workshop Facilitator with more 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives.

Read the rest of this entry »

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Just Say “No”   Leave a comment

“Although it may feel uncomfortable to think about saying no, it’s important to remember that each time you say yes to someone, or something else, you say no to you and your priorities.” – Oprah Winfrey

We want to be kind. We want to be loved. We want to give because it feels good, and we want to be generous with our gifts, talents, abilities and time. But how often do we say “yes” to requests from friends, colleagues, family members, and others, when we know, within our heart of hearts, that it means taking time away from caring for ourselves?

Saying “no” can conjure up feelings of guilt and shame, because we may think it’s self-centered, and be afraid that others may judge us. But people learn how to treat us by how we treat ourselves.

Giving and receiving is an art of balance. But how can we achieve it? Change begins with awareness. Are you aware of how often you say “yes” when you would rather say “no?” The answer may surprise you!

THIS WEEK’S TNT

This week, make not of how many times you say “yes,” when you would rather say “no.”

Keep a record in a small notebook or make a list on your phone.

Notice how you feel when you say “yes” to something you don’t want to do.

Do you feel resentful, angry, frustrated, stressed, or exhausted?

Your body is giving you clues!

At the end of the week, add up the number of entries in your notebook.

Then,  make a list of five things you would like to say “no” to.

Start with something small.

You don’t need to explain or justify yourself.

Don’t know what to say?

Here’s a rule of thumb you can follow:

Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don’t say it mean.

Learning to say “no” takes practice. But you can learn how to say it.

The more you practice, the easier it will become.

You will feel better, and while some relationships may fall away, others will deepen and grow.

As always, I would love to hear your comments about how this week’s TNT worked for you and what it is you discovered.

With love, Theresa

If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal.  It’s here:
 paypal.me/Reconnecting2You

Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. Available internationally by Skype and U.S. telephone.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.

Website: www.reconnecting2you.com

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

 Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy

To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Grief   Leave a comment

“Some pain is simply the normal pain of human existence. That is the pain I try to make room for. I honor my grief.” –  Marianne Williamson

During times of loss – whether it be loss through the transition of someone we cared for and loved, loss of a job, a relationship, a financial downturn, or other situation, we are often told to move on before we are ready; to suck it up and lick our wounds. And if we don’t, we may lose friends or be told we’re too sensitive. But grief has a life of its own.

It’s easy to distract ourselves with work, food, television, or other activities, and; there may be times we need to step away and give ourselves a break. But denying our feelings and suppressing our emotions doesn’t make grief go away.

The five stages of grief, identified by Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, include:

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance

However, we do not move through them in a linear fashion, and they may arise when we least expect them. For instance, I recall walking into a supermarket several months after my mother died. I had been feeling fine, but broke into tears when I entered the store. I have no idea what brought it on, as I was living 3,000 miles away. I stopped and let the tears flow. A few minutes later the emotions passed and I continued to shop.

It’s being present with the process that allows us to heal.

I recall Stephen Levine, one of my dearest teachers, saying that even missing a phone call elicits a momentary experience of grief.

Today’s TNT:

If you’re experiencing loss, allow yourself to honor your grief.

Share your experience with a trusted friend.

Sit with your feelings.

Journal.

Join a grief support group

Trust your process.

Take the time you need.

As always, I would love to hear your comments.

With love, Theresa

Do you have a dream or goal you would like to realize? Or would like support with a personal issue? Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.

Website: www.reconnecting2you.com

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

 Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy

 

To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) More Will Be Revealed   Leave a comment

Dear Friends,

I began writing “this week’s” blog last week. Like many of you, my emotions have been up and down after last Tuesday’s election. After a tumultuous campaign season, although it’s only been a week since the election, it feels more like years.

I voted for Bernie Sanders in the primary.  Perhaps you did, as well, or were a Hillary or Trump supporter.  Regardless of who we voted for, one thing is certain – we share a common goal – our desire for love, contentment and happiness is universal.

I am dismayed by the violence of protestors – whether they be for or against Donald Trump. The emotions we are experiencing – on all sides – must be channeled constructively for true and lasting change.

As I reflect on the conflict here, at home, and around the world, I can’t help but think of our brains’ primitive survival mechanism to fight or flee: an automatic response that fuels conflict and war – both interpersonal and global, when we perceive a threat. When we act on automatic pilot, we forget that we have a choice for how we respond – but it takes  but it takes discipline and effort. (Think of the last time you reacted to something a loved one said? It’s easy to let ourselves get triggered.)

So with emotions flying high, how do we reconnect – person to person – and find our common ground? How do we listen, with respect and understanding, to what our brothers and sisters are saying without getting lost in a web of fear and hate? Communication is our greatest ally, when we allow ourselves to listen to what one another is saying – underneath the rhetoric.

What goes up must come down. Change is a never ending cycle. Call me naive, but what we perceive as the worst-case scenario now, can bring deep healing and change in the future. As spiritual leaders have told us throughout the centuries, change begins within ourselves. We are not powerless, but how we use our power is essential for the good of all concerned.

Who do we wish to be in the midst of our current political climate, knowing that the energy we put out has an effect on ourselves and the world at large? Our thoughts, behaviors and emotions contribute to love or fear. What do we wish to create in spite of what others are doing?

As Martin Luther King Jr. so graciously wrote in his book Strength To Love in 1963 applies just as much, if not more, now:

“At the center of nonviolence stands then principle of love. The non-violent resister would contend that in the struggle for human dignity the oppressed people of the world must not succumb to the temptation of becoming bitter and indulging in hate campaigns. To retaliate in kind would do nothing but intensify the existence of hate in the universe. Along the way of life, someone must have the sense and morality enough to cut off the chain of hate. This can only be done by projecting the ethic of love to the center of our lives.”

As I contemplate Dr. King’s words, I feel a sense of expansion, and am filled with peace and love. If it feels right to you, I invite you to let his words resonate deep within you. And, should you feel inspired to take action on local or global issues, how do you wish to contribute? Tune in to your heart and listen. If time and resources are not within your current means, sending love is just as powerful an action as others.

In times of doubt or fear, which we are all likely to experience, here are four ways to reconnect to strength and love:

1.  Respond. When tempted to react to what you see or hear, take a breath, walk away, and take a moment to calm down. So often, in the heat of emotion, we are tempted to lash out and react, creating fear and suffering for ourselves and others. Giving yourself the time and space required to calm down will allow you to respond with greater confidence and power.

2.  Take Inspired Action. Quiet the mind and listen to your heart. Your actions will be more effective and your decisions more impactful.

3.  Develop Loving Backbone: Don’t worry about what others are doing or saying. Take a stand for the values you believe in without getting caught in a wave of emotion, blame or judgment. Let the wisdom of your inner voice guide you.

4.  Self-Care. When feeling anxious or out of sorts, ask yourself what you need to do to restore harmony and balance. Then honor yourself and take appropriate actions.

Although our state of affairs may look dire and confusing at the moment, we can only see a small fraction of the picture. More will be revealed.

With love,

Theresa

If you know someone who would find this post helpful, please share.

Would you like to experience greater joy and balance in your life? Or have a goal you desire to achieve?

Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a 30-minute Complimentary Coaching Consultation. It would be a pleasure to speak with you.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.

To schedule a 30-minute Complimentary Coaching Consultation to learn how you, too, can improve your health and accomplish your desires, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com

Website: www.reconnecting2you.com

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

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Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Show Me The Money   Leave a comment

Preamble

Do you know where your money’s going? Or wonder why you never seem to have enough? This week’s TNT will provide you with a useful tool and help you gain more clarity.

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool):  Show Me The Money

“What you do today can improve all of your tomorrows.” – Ralph Marston

I learned a great way to track and manage my finances from a friend who shared his technique with me many years ago, and have been using it for the last two decades.

Although it might not make sense at first, or seem like an inconvenience, this little tip will help you gain insight into your spending habits, and like my friend, who was unknowingly spending $150 a month on coffee – may surprise you!

Here’s the deal:

For the next 30 days, make a commitment to use the following seven steps on a daily basis:

  1.  Get a notebook, small enough to carry in your pocket or purse, and put it someplace where you can easily reach it.
  2. Have a pen handy at all times.
  3. At the start of each day, start a new page and date it.
  4. Write down every cent you spend during the day. That’s right – even that penny you left in the container at the grocery store for someone else to take.
  5. On a separate page, write the date, and jot down every penny you received – yes, including that gifted penny!
  6. Follow the steps outlined above for 29 more days.
  7. At the end of 30-days, break your expenditures into categories and tally the numbers

You can use the following categories or create ones that are unique to your individual needs. Here are a few suggestions:

  • Rent
  • Groceries (food your purchase and cook and eat at home)
  • Eating out (yes, even bowl of soup you purchased and ate on the go!)
  • Coffee
  • Electric bill
  • Gas bill
  • Car insurance
  • Movies
  • Cable TV
  • Cell phone
  • Transportation (subway fare, tolls, etc.)
  • Music
  • Savings
  • Haircut
  • Taxes, etc.

Then tally up your income and subtract what you spent from what you received.

At the end of the month you will know exactly where your money is going and have the information you need to make a conscious choice about where and what you’re spending. Who knows? Like my friend, you may decide to forgo your morning brew, and allocate the money to your dream vacation!

You can use the same technique for your business. However, for greater clarity, I suggest you keep your personal and business records separate.

As always, I would love to hear your comments.

If you know someone who would find this post helpful, please share.

Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a 30-minute complimentary coaching consultation to discuss your goals and dreams and how I might assist you.

Theresa Conti is a Stress & Life Balance Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.

To schedule a 30-minute Complimentary Coaching Consultation to learn how you, too, can improve your health and accomplish your desires, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com

Website: www.reconnecting2you.com

Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo

 Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy

To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page

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