“Ever since I heard your name, it’s been running through the streets trying to find you.” – Hafiz
I was first introduced to the question, “Would you rather be right or happy?,” as a student of A Course in Miracles, back in the 1980’s. It was a profound turning point and changed the way I viewed my relationships and my perceptions of life.
The mind is riddled with judgment and loves to be right, which, more often than not, occurs without our conscious awareness and creates conflict within ourselves and our personal and professional relationships.
The state of the world, and the stress we experience, often stems from our thoughts and perceptions. What would happen if we suspended our judgments for just one day and created the space to listen to, and understand, one another?
How would our lives, and the lives of others be different, if we extended love and compassion instead of expecting others to think and do as we do? And, what, if in the greater scheme of things, we developed a newfound understanding that resulted in more connection, peace and togetherness, rather than separation?
Suspending judgment doesn’t mean we forgo our needs for love and safety. Rather, it calls for questioning whether our judgments and opinions about ourselves, and others, are accurate, or if there’s a need for greater appreciation and acceptance?
Want to experiment? Try the following exercise:
1. Choose one day during the week to observe.
2.Stop at regular intervals to take note of your judgments and perceptions.
3.Choose an activity that you engage in throughout the day, such as answering your telephone, using the restroom, or getting a drink of water, to serve as a reminder to stop assess your findings.
4.Take a breath and notice any stress or discomfort in your body, as you take note of your thoughts and judgments.
5.Ask yourself the following questions:
Is what I’m thinking or judging true? Is it always true?
Is what I’m thinking or judging based on my ideas and values, or perhaps someone else’s beliefs and interpretations that I’ve unknowingly adopted?
What, if anything, am I afraid of?
Does what I’m thinking or judging stem from a past experience?
How else can I view the situation?
6. After reviewing the above questions what, if any, insights, are you aware of?
Our happiness stems from within and is waiting to be found. Perhaps it lies in valuing our differences.
With love, Theresa
BIO
Iwas born and raised in New York. I am a Certified Life Coach, Energy Healing Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator and Author with more than 25 years’ experience. My books include Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself and I Am the Treasure.
I specialize in helping my clients manage their stress and develop inner resources, like confidence, courage and resilience so they can live with greater ease, realize their goals and dreams and better meet life’s challenges.
For more information and to schedule an appointment, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com.
Here we are, half way through July! I hope you’re out and about and enjoying the summer! And for those of you who have been experiencing extreme heat waves, I hope you’re staying safe and cool.
I am happy to say that will be coming to the US for a long overdue visit to spend time with my son and friends. I leave for Seattle and environs on Monday, where I’ll stay for most, if not all of my trip, and may take a short jaunt to New York. I will be working via Zoom, as always, so feel to give a shout out if you would like to schedule a coaching or energy healing session.
If you haven’t had a chance to read my previous post, Love, you can now listen to the podcast. You’ll find it, and other episodes, by following the link below. You can also search for me on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and other media channels.
And now a few words about today’s post, Fulfillment…
“You see things; and you say, ‘Why?’ But I dream of things that never were; and I say, ‘Why not?’” – George Bernard Shaw
We often hold ourselves back from fulfilling our dreams and making the changes we desire. The culprit is fear – afraid what might happen, instead of being inspired by what could. Possibilities exist everywhere. We need only open the door and let our imaginations guide us.
We are meantto fulfill our dreams. When we deny, push them down, or think we’re incapable of realizing them, our lives are out of balance. We may feel tired, lonely, resentful, depressed. Our bodies and psyches are vying for our attention.
You have the power to change it. Close your eyes and answer the following question: “What’s one thing that makes my heart sing?” Listen for the answer. It will lead you in the right direction.
BIO
I was born and raised in New York. I am a Certified Life Coach, Energy Healing Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator and Author with more than 25 years’ experience. My books include Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself and I Am the Treasure.
I specialize in helping my clients manage their stress and develop inner resources, like confidence, courage and resilience so they can live with greater ease, realize their goals and dreams and better meet life’s challenges.
For more information and to schedule an appointment, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com.
“The most important thing in life is to learn to give out love and to let it come in.”
–Morrie Schwartz
I once had a therapist who started each day by reflecting on the following question:
What is the most loving way I can live my life today?
I liked it so much, I began using it as a daily practice and wrote the answers in my journal which helped me reflect on all the good things in my life whenever I reread them. The practice gave perspective to my day and filled me with a sense of peace and comfort.
Here are a few entries from my journal:
Look to give rather than receive.
Be patient with myself, as well as others.
Strive to understand, rather than be understood.
Listen, rather than speaking.
Reflect on something beautiful and let the good feelings soak in
I invite you to try it. The answers you receive may inspire and surprise you.
BIO
I was born and raised in New York. I am a Certified Life Coach, Energy Healing Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator and Author with more than 25 years’ experience. My books include Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself and I Am the Treasure.
I specialize in helping my clients manage their stress and develop inner resources, like confidence, courage and resilience so they can live with greater ease, realize their goals and dreams and better meet life’s challenges.
For more information and to schedule an appointment, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com
“WEALTH IS THE ABILITY TO FULLY EXPERIENCE LIFE.” – Henry David Thoreau
I once had a friend who told me he tracked every penny he spent for a 30-day period. It sounded exhausting! No way, I thought! How boring! Until he told me he discovered he was spending $150 a month and $1800 a year on coffee! I’ve been doing the exercise ever since!
I’ve been creating a monthly spending plan for decades, based on the process I’m going to share with you, and find it both grounding and empowering. I now make conscious choices and no longer wonder where my money’s gone when I open my wallet and find there’s not much there! The goal isn’t to pinch pennies, but rather to live abundantly, based on what’s most important to me.
Want to know where your money is going?
Buy a notebook that’s small enough to carry around and divide it into two columns. In the left-hand column, write down everything you spend and what you spend it on, including the candy bar you buy at the news stand! In the right-hand column, write down everything you receive and where it came from – down to the very last penny!
Whatever you do, don’t change your spending habits during the “discovery” period. That way, you’ll get an accurate picture of your patterns.
Do the exercise for a month. To keep it simple, start the process on the first day of the month and when there are no extra expenses, like vacations or holidays.
At the end of the month, divide your expenditures into categories, such as groceries, eating out, rent, gas, newspapers, entertainment, coffee, etc. See what you discover.
Subtract your expenses from your income. See what you have left and what, if any, changes you’d like to make to your future spending.
Lastly, create a monthly spending plan based on the information you gathered, and allocate your income into the categories that are most important to you, including saving for something special you’d like to buy or do. The process will help you take charge of your money, rather than spending randomly.
Some of your expenses, like rent, will be fixed. Others, like eating out, having your nails done, etc. will be more flexible, and the amount you choose to spend can vary month to month.
Who knows, with a little tweaking, before too long, you may have the funds available to take that long awaited vacation!
With love, Theresa
Bio
I was born and raised in New York. I am a Certified Life Coach, Energy Healing Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator and Author with more than 25 years’ experience. My books include Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself and I Am the Treasure.
I specialize in helping my clients manage their stress and develop inner resources, like confidence, courage and resilience so they can live with greater ease, realize their goals and dreams and better meet life’s challenges.
For more information and to schedule an appointment, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com
No matter where you live, or what you’re doing, I hope you are taking time to nurture yourself and enjoy the sunshine and warm weather.
Our relationships with family and friends, co-workers, and acquaintances provide us with care and companionship, and also serve to nourish us. Along with eating well, exercise, and other means of self-care, healthy relationships are necessary for our well-being and happiness.
Dr. Vivek Murthy, an American physician who has served as the19th and 21st Surgeon General of the United States under Presidents Obama and Biden, tells us that we need three levels of connection for our health and happiness: an intimate relationship; a circle of friends; and a community. So, how do we create them?
I invite you to join me for my next online Courageous Conversation Coaching Call: Embracing Intimacy: Cultivating Genuine Relationships taking place via Zoom on Thursday, May 27, 2021 at 6PM CET / 12 PM EST/ 9 AM PST. Additional details are provided below. But first, a few words about this week’s topic, The Power and Practice of Rituals.
With love,
Theresa
THE POWER & PRACTICE OF RITUALS
“In our fast moving world, rituals have the power to ground and stabilize us, and keep us focused and purposeful. They increase confidence, provide us with a sense of security, alleviate the weight of grief and help reduce anxiety. And, above all, rituals are a sure-fire way to increase happiness.” -Deepak Chopra
Rituals are often associated with religious practices, but they’re so much more than that.
Rituals are diverse. They can be spiritual or secular, and we can create and adapt them to our unique needs and personalities. They can help set the tone for the day, and help us relax into a restful sleep before going to bed in the evening. There’s no right or wrong way to practice them, and while you may not call them rituals, I’m guessing you already have a few!
We can change the rituals we practice when they no longer serve us, when we wish to add something new to our experience, or when we want to revive a prior practice. For instance, I’ve recently resumed the ritual of writing Morning Pages shortly after waking, followed by reading, meditation, and listening to an inspiring podcast or u-tube video while eating breakfast.
Other rituals include keeping greeting loved ones – and strangers – with a sense of open heartedness and warmth, baking bread on Sundays or sitting in the garden sewing!
Rituals serve to renew us, help us stay focused, and can increase our well-being and happiness.
Do have a favorite ritual or would you like to establish one? If so, I’d love to hear about your experience. Please leave your comments below. They may help another reader!
We all long for connection – it’s one of our most important and primary needs, and is essential for our health and happiness. Yet, fear of intimacy often keeps us living on the fringe and prevents us from deepening our relationships – with lovers, partners, family and friends. But, it doesn’t have to be that way. We can learn to open up, take baby steps and, like flowers blossoming in the sunlight, we can allow ourselves to bloom and be seen.
I’m so looking forward to Thursday’s our upcoming coaching call: Embracing Intimacy: Cultivating Genuine Relationships, and hope you will join me, as we discuss…
Three requirements for healthy relationships;
How you feel about intimacyand what it means to you;
What you’re looking for in intimate relationships;
Which relationships in your life display these qualities;
Which people in your life you’d like to feel closer to;
Blocks that may be preventing you from feeling as close to others as you’d like;
Steps you can take to build more satisfying and intimate relationships.
I will send a link to a TED talk on the topic of intimacy and friendships prior to our meeting, which we’ll use to kick off our conversation, along with a link to Zoom.
Space is limited in order to create a safe and intimate environment, and so everyone who wishes to has time to share. Please register by Wednesday morning, May 26th.
When: Thursday, May 27, 2021
Time: 18:00 (Rome Time) / 12 PM EST / 9 AM PST
Duration: Two hours Fee: €25 via IBAN / US via PayPal. PayPal price will vary due to the currency exchange rate.
I was born and raised in New York. I am a Certified Life Coach, Energy Healing Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator and Author with more than 25 years’ experience. My books include Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself and I Am the Treasure.
I specialize in helping my clients manage their stress and develop inner resources, like confidence, courage and resilience so they can live with greater ease, realize their goals and dreams and better meet life’s challenges.
For more information and to schedule an appointment, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com
Life is filled with uncertainty, and the last year has clearly brought that home. Yet, everything in life is uncertain, even when we think it is. The job that seems permanent, a relationship we think will last forever, a beautiful home that provides us with comfort and shelter – are all subject to change.
So, if everything in life is uncertain, why not muster the courage to live the lives we desire, and develop a sense of deep inner knowing that we can handle whatever comes our way, and let go of the fear that keeps us from moving forward? The result can lead us into lives of greater joy, freedom and fulfillment.
I invite you to join me for my next Courageous Conversations program, Living an Authentic Life: Inspired from Within, wherewe’ll focus on the dreams and the goals you wish to achieve; the obstacles that may be holding you back and the tools to release them; your past successes and the steps you took to realize them and; developing an action plan to get you on your way! As always, this will be an interactive conversation in a small group setting, hosted via Zoom.
Stay tuned! More information coming soon.
LIVING AN AUTHENTIC LIFE: Summoning the Courage to Be
“Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacles.
-Christian Larson
Are You Living an Artificial or Natural Life?
Christian D. Larson, a 29th century philosopher and teacher, beckons us to give up an artificial existence and live a natural life. But, how do we recognize the difference and know which of the two we’re living?
A natural life is based on the desires of the soul. We feel energized and inspired by ideas that spring to life and come from someplace deep within. They feel natural and right and are consistent in their calling.
An artificial life is based on the objectives that we think we should pursue, or are based on the opinions of others or ones that society validates. The goals we strive for drain our energy and leave us depleted. No matter how hard we try to succeed, we feel unfulfilled and discontent because they do not resonate with all that we were born to be.
Would you like to know which style of life you are living? Ask yourself if you feel at peace with your work, your relationships and your choices. If not, find your tribe. Seek the courage and support needed to strengthen your resolve to live a rich, rewarding and authentic life, based on your dreams, your desires, your values. No matter what others may tell you.
With love,Theresa
BIO
I was born and raised in New York. I am a Certified Life Coach, Energy Healing Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator and Author with more than 25 years’ experience. My books include Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself and I Am the Treasure.
I specialize in helping my clients manage their stress and develop inner resources, like confidence, courage and resilience so they can live with greater ease, realize their goals and dreams and better meet life’s challenges.
For more information on How of Happiness Coaching Call, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com
“Trade your expectations for appreciation and the world changes for you.” – Anthony Robbins
Expectations create pressure within ourselves and strains our relationships with the people we meet. Resentment and stress often follow suit, and rarely lead to sustainable solutions.
This week, try trading your expectations for appreciation. Notice the little things that people say and do. Compliment them and let them know how much their actions mean to you. And don’t forget to include yourself! Eating breakfast, completing (or starting!) a project you’ve been putting off, or even making the bed are all worthy of your notice and appreciation. It’s the little things that often make the biggest difference and lead to greater happiness.
If you’d like to increase your happiness, join me on Thursday, April 15, 2021for The Road to Happiness: An Online Coaching Call – an interactiveexperience where you’ll gain tools to increase your happiness level; learn about three needs essential for acquiring happiness, and how to meet them; and a few misconceptionsabout what makes us truly happy
Feedback from our last call, “The Power of Vulnerability,” includes:
“Thank you! Our conversation was such an enriching experience!”– Liliana F.
“I really loved the session. I felt like I could be open and honest and felt at ease. You should definitely organize more of these sessions.”–Alenka K.
Registration for Thursday’s call closes on Wednesday, April 14, 2021 The fee is €15 / $18 USD and can be paid via IBAN or PayPal. The group is limited to eight participants, so everyone has time to share.
To register and receive payment information, please email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com. Wishing you a happy, healthy day!
With love,
Theresa
BIO
I was born and raised in New York. I am a Certified Life Coach, Energy Healing Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator and Author with more than 25 years’ experience. My books include Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself and I Am the Treasure.
I specialize in helping my clients manage their stress and develop inner resources, like confidence, courage and resilience so they can live with greater ease, realize their goals and dreams and better meet life’s challenges.
For more information on How of Happiness Coaching Call, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com.
Easter, like spring, represents a time of rebirth and renewal. Perhaps there’s a dream in your heart you are ready to pursue or a desire you wish to birth. Like a seed beginning to sprout, we are always in a cycle of revitalization and creation. And this includes revitalizing our relationships.
My recent podcast, Practicing Togetherness, combined with today’s post, encourages us to embrace a broader view of Easter – to rise above our differences, to be channels of love, support and connection, and to share our unique gifts and talents as a healing presence in the world.
I hope you find today’s message and Practicing Togetherness inspiring. You can listen to the podcast by clicking on the link below. You can also find it on Spotify, by putting my name in the search bar.
Whatever may lie in your heart to do, to be, or to create, it would be my pleasure to guide and support you.
“It really boils down to this: that all life is interrelated. We are all caught in an inescapable network, and mutually tied into a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one destiny, affects all indirectly.
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
While Easter represents a time of joy and renewal, many people, including myself, have been feeling a sense of disconnection from the people we know, love and care about. And why wouldn’t we? It’s been such a strange and stressful year.
Even in normal timesit’s easy to feel isolated – whether in the midst of a crowd or a large metropolitan city. It seems antithetical, I know. But it’s true. And, I’ve spoken to countless others, both during and pre-COVID, who have felt that way too. Perhaps there’ve been times when you have experienced the same. Don’t think it odd if you have. As Dr. Murthy mentions in his talk, Together, on which my podcast, Practicing Togetherness is based, acknowledging our longing for more meaningful and deeper connections has been a positive result of COVID.
In our fast paced, and modern day lives, in addition to the challenges COVID has presented, it’s easy to feel cut off from the nourishment that we so deeply need to thrive. The good news is there are things we can do to renew ourselves, celebrate life, and deepen our relations.
1. Small actions lead to great things!
Saying “I love you” to those we hold close to our hearts, and whose friendships we value, lifts us up, allows us to express our appreciation and affection, and lets others know we care. It’s good for both our hearts!
If you’re afraid of rejection, take the risk and say it anyway! You may be surprised at how good it feels! And like a domino effect it may inspire others to take the same action!
2. Kindness
Research has shown that acts of kindness have beneficial outcomes for the giver and the receiver. For instance, kindness has been shown to increase self-esteem, improve mood, strengthen the immune system, reduce aches and pains, and protect overall health twice as much as aspirin protects against heart disease. Pretty cool, right?
Even simple acts, like helping someone across the street, buying groceries for someone in need, or surprising someone with an unexpected gift can brighten their day and elevate our mood. And don’t forget, being kind to ourselves is equally important!
3. Listen
Wow! Listening is an underutilized gift we can give to one another. Rather than thinking about what we’re going to say, let’s make listening a priority.
To truly hear what someone is saying, and letting them know we understand and care, can lift the weight off their shoulders and strengthen our empathy and compassion. And who knows, we may each learn something new!
May this Easter be a time of renewal: to express our love, nurture our relationships, and care for our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual needs.
I was born and raised in New York. I am a Certified Life Coach, Energy Healing Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator and Author with more than 25 years’ experience. My books include Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself and I Am the Treasure.
I specialize in helping my clients manage their stress and develop inner resources, like confidence, courage and resilience so they can live with greater ease, realize their goals and dreams and better meet life’s challenges.
It’s always such a joy to watch nature unfolding – springing to life before our very eyes. I feel inspired as I watch the buds forming on the trees outside my window, or witness the flowers pushing through the earth while I’m on my daily walks. They remind me that like life, nature is unstoppable and always expressing itself, beautifully and freely.
OUR FREEDOM RESIDES WITHIN
“I freed a thousand slaves. I could have freedthousands more, if only they knew they were slaves.”
–Harriet Tubman
Last Sunday, I watched a video of Sadhguru that was filmed at a Youth and Truth Event in Delhi, India in 2018. What I heard reminded me of Victor Frankl and his book, A Man’s Search for Meaning, in which Frankl recounts his experience at Nazi concentration camps during WWII. His story is a poignant lesson that tells us regardless of the conditions we face, our freedom resides within. No one and nothing can inhibit it or take it away.
I also found the precept true while facilitating a volunteer program at a maximum-security prison in Washington State. While many of the inmates felt they were in bondage, others found a sense of freedom through meditation, personal growth seminars, spiritual practices, artwork, and other mediums. Many of the men I spoke with told me their imprisonment was the best thing that could have happened to them, because it caused them to stop, reflect on their lives, and experience an awakening that was impossible to find on the outside. Choosing where to put their attention is what determined each inmates’ experience.
Years ago, Bo Lozoff, founder of The Prison Ashram Project and The Human Kindness Foundation wrote a book called We’re All Doing Time; a telltale title that illustrates how our thoughts, beliefs and behaviors lead to corresponding outcomes– whether we realize it or not. So, how do we free ourselves from our own self-confinement?
First, by letting go of blame, taking responsibility for our choices, and forgiving ourselves and others for whatever pain or suffering we may have caused or experienced. This is the foundation that guides us on the road to freedom. It all starts with a decision, then Life steps in and guides our process.
As the famous Goethe quote advises: Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Our healing, both personal, interpersonal and global is in our hands. Let’s begin it.
I was born and raised in New York. I am a Certified Life Coach, Energy Healing Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator and Author with more than 25 years’ experience. My books include Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself and I Am the Treasure.
I specialize in helping my clients manage their stress and develop inner resources, like confidence, courage and resilience so they can live with greater ease, realize their goals and dreams and better meet life’s challenges. I offer a 30-minute complimentary consultation to get acquainted, discuss your goals and see how we might work together.
As a contributor to InTrieste.com, a local online and print expat magazine, I recently took part in an initiative to highlight an author who wrote part, or all of, one of their published works while living in the area. I choose Ulysses, by James Joyce, an author I knew little about before embarking on the project.
We filmed the video (which you’ll find in the link at the end of the post), by the Grand Canal, along with a peek-a-boo view of the Gulf of Trieste, and the surrounding area. I’ve included some of Joyce’s background, a few quotes I found particularly poignant, along with a few comments of my own.
I hope you enjoy it!
With love,
Theresa
JAMES JOYCE WRITES ULYSSES IN TRIESTE
“Shut your eyes and see.” – James Joyce
James Augustine Aloysisus Joyce was an Irish novelist, short story writer, poet, teacher and literary critic. He contributed to the modernist avant-garde movement and is regarded as one of the most influential and important writers of the 20th century.
To learn more, and view the video, click on the link below. If so inspired, feel free to leave a comment in the reply section, under the post. I’d love to read your feedback
I was born and raised in New York. I am a Certified Life Coach, Energy Healing Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator and Author with more than 25 years’ experience. My books include Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself and I Am the Treasure.
I specialize in helping my clients manage their stress and develop inner resources, like confidence, courage and resilience so they can live with greater ease, realize their goals and dreams and better meet life’s challenges. I offer a 30-minute complimentary consultation to get acquainted, discuss your goals and see how we might work together.
“GENUINE RELATIONSHIPS DEPEND FIRST ON A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH OURSELVES.”
– Sonia Choquette
Having a relationship is one of the most common goals that coaching clients wish to achieve.
According to Neil Clark Warren, Ph.D. and founder of eharmony.com, there are three qualities that indicate emotional health when looking for a partner: generosity, truthfulness and kindness. Use them as a gauge to assess if the person you’re considering partnering with has them. But don’t stop there! Explore ways to cultivate them for yourself, if needed. You will enhance your inner beauty, and feel better, too!
Use the same guidelines for developing healthy friendships.
I was born and raised in New York. I am a Certified Life Coach, Energy Healing Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator and Author with more than 25 years’ experience. My books include Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself and I Am the Treasure.
I specialize in helping my clients manage their stress and develop inner resources, like confidence, courage and resilience so they can live with greater ease, realize their goals and dreams and better meet life’s challenges. I offer a 30-minute complimentary consultation to get acquainted, discuss your goals and see how we might work together.
Did you know that Valentine’s Day actually began at the end of the 5th century in 496? And that, what we know as a romantic holiday, has glimmers of both ancient Christian and Roman tradition? Interesting, isn’t it?
According to the Smithsonian Magazine, ancient sources reveal that there were several men known as Saint Valentine who died on Feb. 14, although they reportedly died in different years. Two of them were beheaded during the reign of the Roman Emperor Claudius Gothicus 269-270 A.D., at a time when persecution of Christians was common. Legend has it that one of the Valentine’s was a preacher who had healed an aristocrat’s daughter of blindness, leading the nobleman’s family converting to Christianity, and the other was a bishop from the city of Terni, in Umbria, who had healed a convert’s son. Both Valentines are buried on the Via Flaminia, an ancient road leading from Rome over the Apennine Mountains to what is now known as Rimini. Who would have thought?
The Internet is filled with stories! For instance other legends suggest that St. Valentine was a Roman priest who performed secret weddings during the 4th century – a practice that was in direct opposition to the authorities wishes, and another, that St. Valentine (who was not yet a saint), helped Christians escape from Roman prisons where they were brutally beaten and tortured.
St. Valentine’s Day is also associated with the ancient Roman festival, Lupercalia, a purifying event which took place from February 13-15. The annual festival was said to ward off evil spirits and promote health and fertility.
So, how did these ancient legends segue into a modern-day romantic holiday? In the latter half of the 14th century, Geoffrey Chaucer, the famous English poet, wrote a poem entitled The Parliament of Fowls, which contains the line “For this was on Saint Valentine’s Day, when every bird comes there to choose his mate.” Shortly thereafter, European nobility began sending love notes during bird-mating season, and the practice took off from there. In subsequent centuries, English men and women designated February 14 as the day to write notes of endearment to their beloveds. The practice eventually led to chocolatiers, greeting card companies, and other industries promoting the holiday among lovers.
So, what began as a fateful day for the Valentines, has become an international holiday to express our love and affection to our significant others. But not all of us are in relationship, or choose to be, and the holiday can stir up painful emotions for some of us.
And although Valentine’s Day has become highly commercialized, we can use it as an opportunity to let the people we love know we are thinking of them, and as a reminder to reflect on our own good qualities, and that the love we seek resides within us, regardless of our relationship status.
“We can make ourselves miserable or we can make ourselves strong. The effort is the same.” – Pema Chödron
Sometimes it seems like nothing is working in our favor. The refrigerator breaks down, someone else gets the job we wanted, the air condition stops working, the relationship we were hoping would last ends. It’s tempting to feel discouraged and sorry for ourselves. But don’t get stuck in self-pity. If you stay too long, it may be hard to dig yourself out.
Feel the disappointment, acknowledge the hurt, then brush yourself off and let the good vibrations begin. Start by doing something that replenishes and renews you. Then watch for “signs of spring.”
With love,
Theresa
BIO
I was born and raised in New York. I am a Certified Life Coach, Energy Healing Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator and Author with more than 25 years’ experience. My books include Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself and I Am the Treasure.
I specialize in helping my clients manage their stress and develop inner resources, like confidence, courage and resilience so they can live with greater ease, realize their goals and dreams and better meet life’s challenges. I offer a 30-minute complimentary consultation to get acquainted, discuss your goals and see how we might work together.
“Courage is more exhilarating than fear, and in the long run it is easier. We do not have to become heroes overnight, just a step at a time, meeting each thing as it comes up, seeing it not as dreadful as it appeared, discovering that we have the strength to stare it down.”
–Eleanor Roosevelt
I love this quote by Eleanor Roosevelt. It gives me hope and reminds me that I have the courage to step out into the night, and that when I do, it’s never as scary as it seems. Moving across country from New York to San Francisco when I was 18; accepting jobs that felt way over my head and experiencing a deep sense of satisfaction and success when I did; becoming a parent; getting divorced; being a single parent; going back to college in my 30’s; traveling to Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia by myself for my first tip out of the US; moving to Italy as a single woman; being vulnerable and putting myself out there with no guarantees, yet doing it all the same, trusting in the inspiration that guided me to make the choices and take the actions that allowed me to pursue my goals and dreams. Perhaps you’ve done the same.
It’s easy to hold back – fear likes to rear its head – but as Eleanor Roosevelt so wisely said, we have the strength to stare it down.
I recently finished reading Daring Greatly by Brenè Brown, after which today’s post is titled. I’ve listened to many of her podcasts and videos. She frequently mentions a quote by Teddy Roosevelt, the 26th President of the United States, and Eleanor. Roosevelt’s cousin. The quote serves as my inspiration for 2021. I’ve printed it out, placed it on the first page my journal, and read it daily. I thought you might find it inspiring, as well.
“It’s not the critic who counts, not the man whopoints out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done better.The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again.Because there is no effort without error andshortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds;who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions;who spends himself in a worthy cause;Who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement,and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.“
–Theodore Roosevelt
What is your heart longing to do? What changes have you been wanting to make, and are ready to dare greatly and pursue?
Write it down. Flesh it out. Create a vision. Then write down the steps you need to take to turn it from a dream into a reality. Take small consistent steps. Even one action a week will lead to a significant change at the end of the year.
WISHING YOU A HAPPY, HEALTHY NEW YEAR!
With love,
Theresa
BIO:
I was born and raised in New York. I am a Certified Life Coach, Energy Healing Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator and Author with more than 25 years’ experience. My books include Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself and I Am the Treasure.
I specialize in helping my clients manage their stress and develop inner resources, like confidence, courage and resilience so they can live with greater ease, realize their goals and dreams and better meet life’s challenges. I offer a 30-minute complimentary consultation to get acquainted, discuss your goals and see how we might work together.
“Community happens when you make connections based on a senseof place and purpose.” – John Addison
The holidays can be a time of celebration and joy, and can also leave us feeling isolated and lonely, particularly for the elderly, and for those of us who live alone.
One thing I’ve found helpful to do when traveling solo, and particularly prior to moving to Italy, is to reach out and make connections before and during my trips, which has made travel much more fun and fruitful. The same strategies for building a larger network can also be used in our home communities.
I always find it helpful to make connections before and during travel, and found it especially important prior to moving from the United States to Italy. Reaching out to others can make our experiences much more fun and fruitful.
Here are a few tips to create community and make your holidays more festive, whether you’re living as an expat or traveling solo.
Expat groups:
Do an online search for expat groups in the region where you live or will be visiting, such as our own Expats In Trieste. Stay informed about their activities by signing up on their social media pages. Participate in their programs, whether they’re in-person or online. You may find others who share your interests, which can lead to budding friendships.
Reach Out to People in Your Field:
As a Life Coach and energy healer, I begin by reaching out to practitioners who are in the same or similar fields. They include coaches, therapists, energy healers, and yoga instructors, among others. In other words, people with whom I share common ground. You can do the same!
Ask colleagues and/or search online for people who work in industries that are similar to yours. Let them know that you’re living in their area, or will be visiting, and would like to know if they’re available to meet, as you’re looking for like-minded people to connect with.
I’ve had wonderful experiences using this approach and have even been invited to dinner, parties, and tours of the person’s city, in addition to coffee and drinks. I know this can feel vulnerable, so trust your intuition and do what feels right to you. To avoid misunderstandings, unless friends have referred me, I only contact women, as I feel safer doing so.
Use the same technique by asking friends if they know people to whom they can refer you. It’s a small world, and it may be easier to connect than you think!
Common Interests:
Brainstorm a list of your interests and do an online search for activities that match them, then mark your calendar and go. Dances, cooking classes, hikes in nature, and photography workshops are a few suggestions.
Everyday Connections:
Talk with everyone! The barista at the caffè you frequent, the fruit and vegetable vendor where you purchase your produce or someone waiting at the same bus stop as you. Be curious – ask them a general question, or share something about yourself, such as how much you like a particular type of coffee or fruit, or make a comment about the weather, depending on the situation. See what unfolds from there.
MeetUp Groups:
Check out MeetUp.com for events that may happening in your region or while you’re traveling. It’s a great way to participate in programs you might not have otherwise known about. It’s free to join, and can lead to local and international friendships.
Tours:
Tours allow for meeting new people while learning something new. For instance, I signed up for a half-day tour of Florence and had dinner with a fellow tourist that evening. Tours provide opportunities for connection, whether local, regional or international. Check out options in your community, such as city, wine and bike tours.
Couchsurfing:
Although most members are in their 20’s or 30’s, you’ll also find people who range in age from their 40’s to 70’s. Search for people who have been verified and have several positive references. I reached out to a member in Lisbon and let her know I was planning a trip for my birthday and wondering if she’d be free to meet while I was there. Much to my surprise, she organized a party!
Trust your intuition, only contact people with whom you feel comfortable, and meet in public places.
Recovery Groups:
There are thousands of international 12-Step groups and there may be one in or close to your area. Check the websites for in-person or online meetings for groups that you belong to or their sister programs. It’s a wonderful way to get support, particularly during the holidays.
Tourist Information Centers:
Check out tourist information centers for local events and other activities. Every major city has one. For instance, the visitor center in Trieste even has a weekly list in English.
Volunteer:
Research organizations, among other groups, that are active in your community to discuss their needs and see how you can help them. Volunteering on a consistent basis provides a framework for potential friendship, which can lead to activities outside of the organization.
Carve Your Own Path:
Have an interest or a passion, but can’t find a local group? Consider starting one of your own! MeetUp.com, Facebook, and other platforms can get you started and help you build community. There are thousands of groups, including hiking, dance and professionally oriented groups. I created three! One for English language speakers, and two for various aspects of my coaching practice. Give it a go and check them out!
When Movement is Limited:
If restrictions are in place, for instance, due to COVID, search for online groups where you can participate and feel a part of a community.
I was born and raised in New York. I am a Certified Life Coach, Energy Healing Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator and Author with more than 25 years’ experience. My books include Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself and I Am the Treasure.
I specialize in helping my clients manage their stress and develop inner resources, like confidence, courage and resilience so they can live with greater ease, realize their goals and dreams and better meet life’s challenges. I offer a 30-minute complimentary consultation to get acquainted, discuss your goals and see how we might work together.
I’ve been listening to several talks, interviews and podcasts by Dr. Vivek Murthy, the 19th US Surgeon General who served in the Obama administration, and who was recently appointed to be part of President Biden’s COVID task force.
Dr. Murthy talks about the healing power of love and how, in that space, we are all healers; something I also know and truly believe.
I’m including a few highlights below from an interview I recently heard, entitled Together; the same title as Dr. Murthy’s most recent book. As always, I hope you find this week’s post helpful.
With love, Theresa
PRACTICING TOGETHERNESS
We are hardwired for connection – it’s what gives purposeand meaning to our lives. The absence of love, belonging and connection always leads to suffering.”– Brenè Brown
This year’s Thanksgiving holiday is far from the norm we’re accustomed to. With the number of COVID cases rising, we are being asked to lay low, keep travel to a minimum, and most of all, to stay home. For many of us, that means spending the holiday away from family and friends, and for some of us, it means spending the holiday alone.
In his interview entitled, Together, Dr. Murthy talks about the benefits of social connection as an extraordinary and powerful force for improving our health, enhancing our performance in the workplace, and at school. He goes on to say that connection, or togetherness, can even help to heal some of the rifts that have developed in societies around the world, as it has become harder to dialogue with one another, which has made us more prone to polarization.
Lack of authentic connections leads to loneliness, which impacts our health and has been shown to increase the risk for heart disease, dementia, depression, anxiety and premature death, and raises the likelihood that our sleep is fragmented and less restful. But, Dr. Murthy goes on to say that there’s a brighter side to the story, as COVID is showing us is the importance of relationship and togetherness.
Research on happiness has shown that when we give, we also receive, as our own level of happiness increases.
SO, HOW CAN WE USE OUR GIFTS AND TALENTS IN SERVICE TO OTHERS, AND BE A SOURCE OF HEALING?
Here are few suggestions from Dr. Murthy, together with a few thoughts of my own:
Put people back in the center of our lives. Make them a priority:
For instance, stop and talk with someone at your local bus stop. Invite a friend for coffee. Call someone you haven’t spoken to in a while. Having a good conversation with a friend or a stranger you meet on an airplane or at a bus stop reduces stress levels and can have a positive effect on our health.
Build relationships:
Get to know someone by asking about their experiences, sharing a vulnerable moment with them, and hearing theirs.
When we share openly and honestly, like a safety net, we create a space for others to do the same. This is what establishes a sense of togetherness, and can lead to deeper levels of connection and intimacy.
Find common ground:
Years ago, I participated in a citizen diplomacy project in central Vietnam. The project brought 40 people from the US, Canada and Croatia together with 40 Vietnamese. The project entailed creating a peace park in the old DMZ, where children and adults were still getting injured and killed by landmines, 25 years after the war ended. I recall thinking that we are less likely to hurt each other when we understand and get to know one another.
Finding common ground can be as simple as shopping at the same grocery store.
Share our stories:
Stories are how we learn and communicate, and how we relate to each other through our shared experiences. The more open and honest are stories are, the more powerful are the connections we forge.
Community Projects:
Join together with people in your community to create beneficial projects. For instance, communities, such as those in the Pacific Northwest, have installed kiosks, located throughout the city, where community members can freely borrow and leave books. Perhaps there are resources, or other types of projects, that you can develop and that serve to partner with people in your community.
So, how can you make this Thanksgiving meaningful? How can you share your healing presence?
“Creating a connected life begins with the decisions that we make day to day.Do we choose to make time for people?Do we show up as our true selves?Do we seek each other out with kindness?These are the questions I hope we will be able to take into our lives,and to consider, not just during COVID 19 but long after it’s over.
“My hope is that we will come out of this pandemic, with not just a great appreciation or each other, but with a greater commitment of living a people centered life.“
– Dr. Vivek Murthy
Wishing you a happy, healthy Thanksgiving!
With love,
Theresa
Bio:
I was born and raised in New York. I am a Certified Life Coach, Energy Healing Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator and Author with more than 25 years’ experience. My books include Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself and I Am the Treasure.
I specialize in helping my clients manage their stress and develop inner resources, like confidence, courage and resilience so they can live with greater ease, realize their goals and dreams and better meet life’s challenges. I offer a 30-minute complimentary consultation to get acquainted, discuss your goals and see how we might work together.
As social creatures, it’s natural to seek out others with whom we can share friendship and community. Although the current landscape makes it challenging, we can still reach out and meet our needs for connection, whether it be online or via telephone.
BUILDING FRIENDSHIP
“WILL YOU BE MY FRIEND IS ONE OF THE BRAVEST THINGS WE CAN EVER SAY.” -Rick Hanson, Ph.D.
We all long for a sense of love and belonging, whether we live in the town we grew up in or have relocated and are living as expats in a foreign country. Inviting someone for coffee or doing something fun requires confidence, courage and vulnerability. But we can do it!
When our request for friendship is met, we open the doors for greater joy and fulfillment. When and if our request for friendship is denied, it may not feel very good, but we can take pride in having tried and move on to asking someone new. As one of my beloved teachers once said: “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway!”
ANECDOTE:
I learned a valuable lesson when I was in my mid-20’s. A friend and I had gone to a bar to listen to music and dance; something we both loved doing. I was shocked when she got up and someone to dance, as it wasn’t customary at the time for a woman to ask a man. She danced the night away while I sat at the table watching.
The next time we went out, I intended to dance and have fun. I mustered my courage and made the. move. The first man I asked turned me down. I realized, in a split second, that if I retreated and went back to my table I’d never take the chance, so I didn’t let it stop me. Without skipping a beat, I looked around, asked another man, and had a wonderful night!
We can’t control the outcomes of our actions, but we can initiate them. If there’s someone you’d like to meet, they might also like meeting you.
FEELY SHY?
TRY USING THE AFFIRMATIONS BELOW WHILE LETTING THE POSITIVE FEELINGS THAT ARISE SOAK DOWN INTO YOUR BODY.
“I am Confident, Capable and Confident. I express myself with ease.” ***
“I surround myself with Friends and Family who love, respect and value me.” ***
“I am safe. I am filled with peace and Harmony.” ***
***TAKEN FROM THE LETTERS “C,” “F” AND “H” OF ALPHABET AFFIRMATIONS: TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE AND LOVE YOURSELF.
DON’T LIVE IN THE US? LOOK FOR IT ON AMAZON IN YOUR HOME COUNTRY.
WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING
“Lovely book! Provides lots of ideas for how to make one’s life more positive by visualizing in a fun way! Highly recommended!”
“Lifts me up. I’m pleased to read one affirmation every morning. These set a positive direction for my work day as well as days of rest and recharging.”
“Simple. Effective. Affirmative. A joyful and positive journey down alphabet lane. Each letter has affirmations that one may reflect on, contemplate and be inspired by. Feeling creative? There is space to insert your own creations. Beautiful concept and execution….”
“Pensieri positivi…ARRIVO! Eh già! Usando questo libro mi sono accorta di quanta resistenza si fa aggiorno d’oggi a vedere, ansi no, a pensare POSITIVO! devo dire GRAZIE GRAZIE e infinitamente GRAZIE all’autrice del libro che con questo semplice esercizio (ma per nulla scontato!) mi ha riportata a vedere le cose diversamente.”
“Positivity. The right tips to focus on positivity and learn a new attitude. A short book that you can use to improve yourself.”
“Finally – the paperback. What an inspiring little book. Something for the bedside table.”
AVAILABLE IN PAPERBACK AND ON KINDLE
CHOOSE THE VERSION THAT WORKS BEST FOR YOU.
BIO
I was born and raised in New York. I am a Certified Life Coach, Energy Healing Practitioner, Workshop Leader and Author with more than 25 years’ experience. My books include Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself and I Am the Treasure – a little book of inspirational poetry.
If you’d like help managing your stress and developing inner resources, like confidence, courage and resilience, so you can life with greater ease, realize your goals and dreams and better meet life’s challenges, I’d love to hear from you.
Email me at Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a complimentary consultation to get acquainted, discuss your goals and dreams, and see how we might work together.
PLEASE NOTE: You can also find my blogs under Expert Advice on InTrieste.com, a local online magazine where you’ll find interesting articles, photos, and more about Trieste, Italy, the beautiful city in northern Italy where I live.
If you find today’s post helpful, please leave your commentsbelow or on my blog at InTrieste.com.
I hope you’ve had a great summer, in spite of the restrictions resulting from COVID. Although the world around us continues to change, we have the ability to remain empowered through our thoughts, decisions and attitudes.
In Part One of Eight Obstacles to Attaining Balance and Solutions to Resolve Them, I wrote about Mental Chatter, Beliefs and Self-Talk – and how they work both for and against us. In Part Two, I addressed Fear,Vulnerability and Shame and how to meet, embrace, and work through them. (To read the posts, see my July 9, 2020 and August 4, 2020 articles.)
Today’s post is the third and final section of the series, and concludes with Denial and Overindulgence, an interesting contrast!
As always, I hope you find today’s post helpful and would love to hear your comments!
Obstacle #7: Denial
“Once in a while it really hits people that they don’t have to experience the world in the way they have been told.”
– Alan Keightley
As children, we may have been taught that it was selfish to follow our dreams. When I was growing up this was especially true for girls. Our job was to put others’ needs first, and our own needs last.. Although I am dating myself, our role models were Donna Reed from the Donna Reed Show, and June from Leave it to Beaver. Fortunately, role models have changed since then and continue to evolve.
Our parents, teachers, cultures and history influence our behavior and what we think is acceptable and attainable. For example, my parents lived through the Great Depression. They, and most people in their generation, came to believe that resources were limited, and if they didn’t take what was available, they might not have another chance to get what it was they wanted – whether it was something tangible, like a job, a home, or a relationship, or something intangible, like an experience. Granted, this was a difficult period in history, and called for extreme measures. However, in time, the Great Depression passed, but people’s beliefs often remained the same and were handed down to future generations.
Denial comes in many forms. For instance, we may deny ourselves a vacation, because we think we shouldn’t spend the money, even though we may have more than enough to take it. Or, we may think we’re not talented enough to realize a goal or dream, and hold ourselves back from pursuing it. Or, we may fear losing someone’s approval if we don’t agree with them, and not express our own opinions. But denial comes with costs, including our health and happiness.
Perhaps it’s time to dream.
Solution #6: Visioning: Creating a New Reality
“The brain, in many ways, doesn’t distinguish real from imaginary.”
– David R. Hamilton, Ph.D.
Step 1:
Following up on Courage, (Solution #5 from my August 4,, 2020 post), think of something you’ve always wanted to do, to have or to experience, but haven’t done yet. It could be writing a book, learning to sky dive, starting a business, traveling abroad, or moving someplace new.
Step 2:
Close your eyes and visualize yourself engaged in the experience, noticing the intricate details:
Where are you and what are you doing?
Are you alone or are there other people with you?
If there are others with you, who are they and what are they doing?
Notice your environment. Are there any animals, trees or other life forms present?
What do you hear, see, smell or taste?
How do you feel as you engage in the activity?
What does the air feel like on your skin?
Are you warm, hot, cold or neutral?
What are you wearing?
What benefits does the new activity provide for you?
How does it support you?
Stay with the experience and see what else you notice.
See yourself healthy, happy and successful, as you fulfill your dream or goal.
When you’re ready, open your eyes.
Write down your experience in as much detail as possible.
Tips:
As an alternative, put on some soft music, record the visualization and listen to it. It may help you to relax and have a deeper experience.
Note: For guidance on how to implement your vision, see “Solution #5: Embrace the Future You!” of Eight Obstacles to Attaining Balance and Solutions to Resolve Them – Part 2.
Obstacle #8: Overindulgence
“The wound is the place where the light enters you.”
– Rumi
Overindulgence can stem from stress, anxiety, boredom, feelings of unworthiness, and from denying our needs and feelings, as well as our dreams and goals. Like a good friend, it informs us that there’s something in need of our attention. It can include food, alcohol, shopping, sex, exercise, work and other people, to name a few! In other words – anything that distracts us from our inner being.
We all indulge from time to time – eating that second (or third!) piece of cake, binge watching a Netflix series (or two!) or having that extra drink – and its’ not a big deal – it’s when overindulging becomes habitual that it signals there’s a problem.
When done consistently, overindulging slows us down, robs our energy, creates shame, and inhibits creativity. In other words, it steers us away from living full and authentic lives.
Solution #8: Staying Present
When tempted to overindulge, stop for just a minute. Notice how you feel, and if there’s something triggering you: a thought, a memory; a difficult interaction, something you’ve seen or heard, feelings of insecurity, or fear when taking steps to pursue a dream or goal or doing something new.
Take a breath, staying present as you allow the feelings to surface and flow through you. Continue breathing, as you remind yourself that, in this moment, you’re safe, and it’s okay to feel. If you’re at home, you may find it helpful to journal. If you’re in public, take note of your feelings and do the exercise when you’re alone. If the sensations are too intense to handle, stop and seek support from a therapist, coach, mentor or trusted friend.
When I was in my 30’s, I was smoking nearly two packs of cigarettes a day, and decided to quit the habit. When the urge to light up came over me I took a walk instead of smoking. While the desire was initially strong, it usually passed within minutes. Replacing the habit with another behavior was key.
Stopping habitual behaviors – even momentarily – helps us become more mindful and supports us in making empowering choices.
Resources: For additional reading, check out Pema Chodron’s books, such as Welcoming the Unwelcome and Uncomfortable with Uncertainty. Eckhart Tolle, Michael Singer and Dr. Joe Dispenza are also wonderful resources.
Theresa Conti was born and raised in New York. She is a Certified Life Coach, Energy Healing Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator and Author with more than 25 years’ experience. Her books include Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself, and I Am the Treasure.
Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, and develop inner resources, like confidence, courage and resilience, so they can live with greater ease, realize their goals and dreams and better meet life’s challenges.
She offers a 30-minute complimentary consultation to get acquainted, discuss your goals, and see how you might work together. She can be reached at Theresa@reconnecting2you.com.
“The knowledge that you can handle anything that comes your way is the key to allowing yourself to take risks.” – Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.
Do you suffer from procrastination? Indecision? Have a difficult time knowing what to do? How do it? Or when? If so, you’re not alone.
Decision-making can be stressful. Weighing options, and the uncertainty that comes from stepping into the unknown, can make us question our thinking, elicit feelings of anxiety and stop us in our tracks. Whether you are concerned about the affects the pandemic will have on your future, are considering moving abroad and living as an expat in a new country or are wondering who to hire for that project that’s been sitting on the back burner, here are several practices I have developed to build trust and move us forward.
See which of the following six practices resonate with you. Try one or try them all. Whichever you choose, each one will help to free a block that’s been keeping you feeling stuck.
Six Practices A Pathway to Making Good Decisions
Practice #1: Let go.Release your expectations and painful outcomes from the past. Rather than obsess about what might happen, or what you did or did not do, choose to investigate instead. Ask yourself: “What is there for me to learn from this situation?” I am a big fan of journaling and find the practice helpful. Perhaps you will, as well.
Practice #2: When in doubt, don’t. Forcing a solution before its time adds undo stress and can prevent new ideas from surfacing. Refocus your attention and give yourself, and the situation you are deliberating, some space. Trust that the guidance, answers and direction you seek will present themselves – likely when least expected.
Practice #3: Face your fears. If you’re worried about making a wrong choice, start by making small ones. Write your decisions down in a notepad or journal and begin taking small, manageable actions that lead you to your goal. Should you experience an unpleasant result, trust that you can handle it and re-evaluate the situation. People sometimes meet with failure before experiencing success. Look at Bill Gates and Colonel Sanders! ! Life may throw us curveballs, but don’t let fear keep you from moving forward.
Practice #4: Reality check. Make a list of all the good decisions you have made to date, and add to it daily. Re-read as necessary to remember your successes.
Practice #5: Do the next right thing. When feeling overwhelmed, rather than focusing on the big picture, chunk it down into small pieces and do the next right thing. This will reduce your anxiety and develop a foundation of trust. Each step will lead to the next, and will eventually guide you to where you’re meant to be.
Practice #6: Appreciation. Acknowledge yourself for taking the actions and trying something new. Life is meant to be lived, one day at a time. Have fun and enjoy and journey!
Theresa Conti was born and raised in New York. She is a Certified Life Coach, Energy Healing Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator and Author with more than 25 years’ experience. Her books include Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself, and I Am the Treasure.
Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, and develop inner resources, like confidence, courage and resilience, so they can live with greater ease, realize their goals and dreams and better meet life’s challenges. She offers a 30-minute complimentary consultation to get acquainted, discuss your goals , and see how you might work together. She can be reached at Theresa@reconnecting2you.com.
We have been living in the midst of change – in a time of uncertainty – leaving many of us wondering what will happen next as we move into a new phase of life. Although we may feel unclear about our direction, we can choose to take a breath, and open to something new.
“There is a universal, intelligent, life force, that exists within everyone and everything. It resides within us as deep wisdom, an inner knowing. We can access this wonderful source of knowledge and wisdom through our intuition, an inner sense that tells us what feels right and true for us at any given moment. – Shakti Gawain
Ever struggle with trying to figure things out, only to experience greater conflict and confusion? The more we struggle, the further we drift from the answer.
Many years ago, I had a dream that I was in the ocean, but instead of swimming, I was drowning. I was living in Seattle at the time, unclear about my future and what to do in my next phase of life. I was trying to figure it out and was in a state of confusion about where to live, whether to complete a course of study I had recently begun, and whether to continue in my profession or find a new line of work, among other lingering questions. (Can you relate?)
As I observed the dream, I saw myself, clearly and vividly, as if watching a movie – arms flailing about above me, trying to stay afloat. I was far from shore, with nothing and no one in sight to rescue me. I was panicking, and the more fearful I became, the more difficult to stay above the choppy water. As I watched the dream unfold, I could tell that my energy was weakening, and saw myself periodically sinking beneath the water’s surface. Then – out of nowhere – a thought occurred to me: STOP STRUGGLING AND FLOAT. I heeded the message, and as if coming to my senses, lay flat on my back, arms relaxed and lying quietly beside me. Suddenly, the water became clear and calm. Although still far from shore, I could see land, and knew that I was safe.
I can see the dream in my mind’s eye as clearly as if it were yesterday. A powerful lesson. Although I still forget, and my arms occasionally flail about as I try to ‘figure things out,’ I know there is an easier way, and as I let go of the struggle, I find it.
Many of us are grappling with the same questions today. Where to go, and what to do as we move into a new stage of life. There are answers – dreams and desires that are still alive and active within you, waiting for the chance to rise to the surface, and guide you. But we must learn how to listen.
One process I began many years ago, and continue to practice today, comes from The Art of Inner Listening by Jessie K. Crum. I’ve shared a modified version of the practice with many of my clients, and in my intuition development workshops, with promising results. If you like to journal, or are willing to give it a try, the following exercise may provide you with some insights.
The Art of Inner Listening Practice
Set aside some quiet time, away from external distractions.
Have a pen and paper handy.
Take a few breaths and let your mind and body relax. You might find it helpful to create a ritual or mood, like lighting a candle, or playing some soft music in the background, and be sure to silence your phone.
Close your eyes and think of a situation that’s been troubling you. It may be a relationship, a work situation, a financial dilemma, or other concern.
When you’re ready, open your eyes, and write the question below across the top of your paper:
“What does my Higher Self want to communicate to me about this situation?”
(Feel free to replace Higher Self with “Intuition,”“Inner Knowing,” or another word or phrase that resonates with you.)
The answer may come in the form of an image, a word, a feeling, a sentence or a paragraph. It will feel clear and certain in your body, and won’t be judgmental or wordy. You may experience a sense of inner strength and security inside of you.
If you’re tempted to direct or change the wording, stop and take a breath, letting go of preconceived expectations, or the need to get it right.
Tip: When I get stumped, I find it helpful to say the following phrases aloud: “I am willing to listen,” and “I hear only the truth.” Then relax and return to the process.
When you’re done writing, sit with your answer. If it’s the voice of your intuition, you will feel a deep sense of peace and your answer will feel authentic and honest.
Is there an action or next step you can take to implement your inner guidance?
Don’t worry if nothing happens or if the process doesn’t work for you the first time you try it. As with any skill, the more you follow your intuition, and see the results, the stronger it will become.
Theresa Conti was born and raised in New York. She is a Certified Life Coach, Energy Healing Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator and Author with more than 25 years’ experience. Her books include Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself, and I Am the Treasure. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, and develop inner resources, like confidence, courage and resilience, so they can live with greater ease, realize their goals and dreams and better meet life’s challenges. She has an international practice and provides coaching services via Skype, telephone, and other platforms. She can be reached at Theresa@reconnecting2you.com.
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