Archive for the ‘Anxiety’ Category
“The knowledge that you can handle anything that comes your way is the key to allowing yourself to take risks.” – Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.
Do you suffer from procrastination? Indecision? Have a difficult time knowing what to do? How do it? Or when? If so, you’re not alone.
Decision-making can be stressful. Weighing options, and the uncertainty that comes from stepping into the unknown, can make us question our thinking, elicit feelings of anxiety and stop us in our tracks. Whether you are concerned about the affects the pandemic will have on your future, are considering moving abroad and living as an expat in a new country or are wondering who to hire for that project that’s been sitting on the back burner, here are several practices I have developed to build trust and move us forward.
See which of the following six practices resonate with you. Try one or try them all. Whichever you choose, each one will help to free a block that’s been keeping you feeling stuck.
Six Practices A Pathway to Making Good Decisions
Practice #1: Let go. Release your expectations and painful outcomes from the past. Rather than obsess about what might happen, or what you did or did not do, choose to investigate instead. Ask yourself: “What is there for me to learn from this situation?” I am a big fan of journaling and find the practice helpful. Perhaps you will, as well.
Practice #2: When in doubt, don’t. Forcing a solution before its time adds undo stress and can prevent new ideas from surfacing. Refocus your attention and give yourself, and the situation you are deliberating, some space. Trust that the guidance, answers and direction you seek will present themselves – likely when least expected.
Practice #3: Face your fears. If you’re worried about making a wrong choice, start by making small ones. Write your decisions down in a notepad or journal and begin taking small, manageable actions that lead you to your goal. Should you experience an unpleasant result, trust that you can handle it and re-evaluate the situation. People sometimes meet with failure before experiencing success. Look at Bill Gates and Colonel Sanders! ! Life may throw us curveballs, but don’t let fear keep you from moving forward.
Practice #4: Reality check. Make a list of all the good decisions you have made to date, and add to it daily. Re-read as necessary to remember your successes.
Practice #5: Do the next right thing. When feeling overwhelmed, rather than focusing on the big picture, chunk it down into small pieces and do the next right thing. This will reduce your anxiety and develop a foundation of trust. Each step will lead to the next, and will eventually guide you to where you’re meant to be.
Practice #6: Appreciation. Acknowledge yourself for taking the actions and trying something new. Life is meant to be lived, one day at a time. Have fun and enjoy and journey!
With love,
Theresa
© Theresa Conti 2020
Bio
Theresa Conti was born and raised in New York. She is a Certified Life Coach, Energy Healing Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator and Author with more than 25 years’ experience. Her books include Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself, and I Am the Treasure.
Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, and develop inner resources, like confidence, courage and resilience, so they can live with greater ease, realize their goals and dreams and better meet life’s challenges. She offers a 30-minute complimentary consultation to get acquainted, discuss your goals , and see how you might work together. She can be reached at Theresa@reconnecting2you.com.
Connect with me on:
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo
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We have been living in the midst of change – in a time of uncertainty – leaving many of us wondering what will happen next as we move into a new phase of life. Although we may feel unclear about our direction, we can choose to take a breath, and open to something new.
“There is a universal, intelligent, life force, that exists within everyone and everything. It resides within us as deep wisdom, an inner knowing. We can access this wonderful source of knowledge and wisdom through our intuition, an inner sense that tells us what feels right and true for us at any given moment. – Shakti Gawain
Ever struggle with trying to figure things out, only to experience greater conflict and confusion? The more we struggle, the further we drift from the answer.
Many years ago, I had a dream that I was in the ocean, but instead of swimming, I was drowning. I was living in Seattle at the time, unclear about my future and what to do in my next phase of life. I was trying to figure it out and was in a state of confusion about where to live, whether to complete a course of study I had recently begun, and whether to continue in my profession or find a new line of work, among other lingering questions. (Can you relate?)
As I observed the dream, I saw myself, clearly and vividly, as if watching a movie – arms flailing about above me, trying to stay afloat. I was far from shore, with nothing and no one in sight to rescue me. I was panicking, and the more fearful I became, the more difficult to stay above the choppy water. As I watched the dream unfold, I could tell that my energy was weakening, and saw myself periodically sinking beneath the water’s surface. Then – out of nowhere – a thought occurred to me: STOP STRUGGLING AND FLOAT. I heeded the message, and as if coming to my senses, lay flat on my back, arms relaxed and lying quietly beside me. Suddenly, the water became clear and calm. Although still far from shore, I could see land, and knew that I was safe.
I can see the dream in my mind’s eye as clearly as if it were yesterday. A powerful lesson. Although I still forget, and my arms occasionally flail about as I try to ‘figure things out,’ I know there is an easier way, and as I let go of the struggle, I find it.
Many of us are grappling with the same questions today. Where to go, and what to do as we move into a new stage of life. There are answers – dreams and desires that are still alive and active within you, waiting for the chance to rise to the surface, and guide you. But we must learn how to listen.
One process I began many years ago, and continue to practice today, comes from The Art of Inner Listening by Jessie K. Crum. I’ve shared a modified version of the practice with many of my clients, and in my intuition development workshops, with promising results. If you like to journal, or are willing to give it a try, the following exercise may provide you with some insights.
The Art of Inner Listening Practice
- Set aside some quiet time, away from external distractions.
- Have a pen and paper handy.
- Take a few breaths and let your mind and body relax. You might find it helpful to create a ritual or mood, like lighting a candle, or playing some soft music in the background, and be sure to silence your phone.
- Close your eyes and think of a situation that’s been troubling you. It may be a relationship, a work situation, a financial dilemma, or other concern.
- When you’re ready, open your eyes, and write the question below across the top of your paper:
“What does my Higher Self want to communicate to me about this situation?”
(Feel free to replace Higher Self with “Intuition,” “Inner Knowing,” or another word or phrase that resonates with you.)
- The answer may come in the form of an image, a word, a feeling, a sentence or a paragraph. It will feel clear and certain in your body, and won’t be judgmental or wordy. You may experience a sense of inner strength and security inside of you.
- If you’re tempted to direct or change the wording, stop and take a breath, letting go of preconceived expectations, or the need to get it right.
Tip: When I get stumped, I find it helpful to say the following phrases aloud: “I am willing to listen,” and “I hear only the truth.” Then relax and return to the process.
- When you’re done writing, sit with your answer. If it’s the voice of your intuition, you will feel a deep sense of peace and your answer will feel authentic and honest.
- Is there an action or next step you can take to implement your inner guidance?
Don’t worry if nothing happens or if the process doesn’t work for you the first time you try it. As with any skill, the more you follow your intuition, and see the results, the stronger it will become.
With love,
Theresa
© Article and Photo Theresa Conti 2020
Bio
Theresa Conti was born and raised in New York. She is a Certified Life Coach, Energy Healing Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator and Author with more than 25 years’ experience. Her books include Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself, and I Am the Treasure. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, and develop inner resources, like confidence, courage and resilience, so they can live with greater ease, realize their goals and dreams and better meet life’s challenges. She has an international practice and provides coaching services via Skype, telephone, and other platforms. She can be reached at Theresa@reconnecting2you.com.
Connect with me on:
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo
Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy
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“Our internal dialogue plays a vital role in shaping our perceptions of reality.” – Deepak Chopra
Communication entails more than the words we speak. It includes our thoughts, our body language, our perceptions, our ability to truly hear what someone is saying – without judgement – and for those of us whose cultures value it – eye contact.
When we think about communicating, we generally think about speaking with others, and forget that we are constantly communicating with ourselves. Our beliefs, attitudes, and the way we think about, and talk to ourselves, effects all aspects of our lives, including our self-esteem, our relationships, our work, and our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual well-being.
Experts estimate that we have between 60,000-80,000 thoughts a day. Out of those, approximately 80% are negative, and 95% are repetitive – meaning we think the same thoughts every day and, in do so, reinforce the neural pathways in the brain. (The phrase “neurons that fire together wire together” was coined by neuropsychologist Donald Hebb in 1949 to describe how pathways in the brain are formed and strengthened through repetition.)
And for those of us who worry a lot, Dr. Robert Leahy, Clinical Professor of Psychology and Psychiatry at Weill Cornell University in New York, tells us that people who worry excessively spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about things that either will never happen, or that they’ll handle well if they do come about. Dr. Leahy goes on to say that one study found that 85% of the things that people worry about had positive – or at least neutral outcomes. (Leahy R. June 2013. Worry No More. URL cognitivetherapnyc.com/bottomh.pdf.)
So, how can we retrain the brain so we can perceive reality more clearly?
The Path of a Buddha: Right Speech
“All that I am is the result of all that I have thought.” – The Buddha
Neuroscience tells us that the brain is geared toward negativity, based on our ancestors’ needs for survival. For instance, the likelihood of being attacked by an opposing tribe, or wild animals on the hunt for food, were real dangers and required our ancestors’ hypervigilance to ensure they and their tribes survived.
Most of us living in today’s world are fortunate: we have shelter, food, clothing, and access to medical care, and no longer need to be as vigilant. And yes, of course, there are exceptions. The point here, is that we often over focus on the negative and reinforce the negativity bias in our minds, recycling the negative messages we give ourselves. The good news is, regardless of life’s circumstances, we can find things that are enjoyable and help our brains learn from the positive.
There are many ways to do this: stopping to savor your morning cup of coffee or tea, noticing a beautiful sunset, the joy of watching your children play, or feeling content when you finish the dishes. As we begin to notice the good facts in our lives, we can move into a more peaceful and empowered state of being, as we grow resources within ourselves for safety, satisfaction and connection.
Another process I find helpful is using and creating affirmations. However, just saying them has no lasting effect on the nervous system – we must embody the feelings that arise as we say them. This is essential in helping the brain lean in the direction of the positive.
What is an Affirmation?
For our purposes, an affirmation is a short, powerful statement, made in the present tense, using positive language.
***Here are a few examples***
“I Appreciate life and Always find things that please me.”
(As you say the affirmation, imagine someone or something you appreciate – a friend, a loved one, an animal, or something enjoyable, like a hot shower, the comfort of your bed, the warmth of your home, or your morning cup of coffee. Notice the feelings and sensations that arise as you think about or watch the scene unfolding. Let it grow bigger, and stay with the sensations for 5 to 10 seconds, or longer, letting them sink in to your body.)
“I Enjoy my life and Engage in activities that Excite me.”
(Imagine something you enjoy doing – either currently or in the past. Then as in the example above, notice the feelings and sensations as you think about, or watch, the scene unfolding, letting it grow bigger. Then, let the good feelings soak down in to your body, like water soaking in to a sponge. As in the example above, stay with the sensations for 5-10 seconds, or longer.)
Note: You can use the same process to imagine enjoying something you would like to do, but haven’t yet done. The experience will still register, as the neurons in your brain are firing.)
“I surround myself with Friends and Family who love, respect and value me.”
(Use the same process as outlined in the examples above. If the affirmation doesn’t ring true for you, imagine what it would feel like to have friends and/or family who love, support and value you. Then continue with the process. You can employ the same method in other situations.)
Regardless of which process you use, it’s important to stay with the good feelings for several breaths or seconds to give your nervous system the opportunity to learn from the positive experience.
Experiment and see what works best for you.
***Excperted from Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself by Theresa Conti.***
Additional resources:
Hanson, R., Ph.D. Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm and Confidence. 2006. Harmony Books.
Leahy R., Ph.D. Worry No More: Five Simple Steps to End Those Troubling Thoughts and Fears. 2013.
“ALPHABET AFFIRMATIONS: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself,” was created out of a nightly gratitude practice , using the letters of the alphabet to help me get back to sleep in times of stress. I rarely made it to “z!”
One night, when feeling a little blue, I shifted my focus and used the letters of the alphabet to relax and comfort myself. I felt deeply cared for and nourished and sank into a deep and restful sleep.
Each letter contains three affirmations, followed by space to write your own, along with instructions for how to use The Alphabet Process.
A deeply healing and empowering practice.
Available on Amazon on Kindle or in paperback.
Here’s What People Are Saying:
“A beautiful and simple concept. As easy as ABC! This sweet book offers a creative way to counter the leanings of the mind and provides exercises to stay buoyant and positive. My favorite letter is Q!
“A joyful and positive journey down alphabet lane. Each letter has affirmations that one may reflect on, contemplate and be inspired by. Feeling creative? There is space to insert your own creations. Beautiful concept and execution.
“Eh già!. Usando questo libro mi sono accorta di quanta resistenza si fa al giorno d’oggi a vedere, ansi no, a pensare POSITIVO! Devo dire GRAZIE GRAZIE e infinitamente GRAZIE all’autrice del libro che con questo semplice esercizio (ma per nulla scontato!) mi ha riportata a vedere le cose diversamente.”
“I’m pleased to read one affirmation every morning. These set a positive direction for my work day as well as days of rest and recharging.”
“Provides lots of ideas for how to make one’s life more positive by visualizing in a fun way! Highly recommended!
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November 27, 2019
I returned to Italy three weeks ago today after an amazing three-month trip to The Netherlands, Germany, Belgium and the U.S.
It’s been a dream of mine to travel since I was quite young. As a teenager, I visualized myself on the planes as I watched them take off from the runways at LaGuardia Airport in New York, and imagined the adventures I’d have.
Then, in my early 20’s my dreams went underground, as my priorities shifted to being a mom and raising my son.
But the dreams that are ours never cease to exist, and one day, after my son turned 18, my dream re-emerged, much to my surprise and delight.
We never know how our dreams will be realized. My three-month trip involved home stays, petsitting, the generosity of friends who so graciously opened their homes to me and a few reservations at BNB’s.
It’s not our job to know how our dreams will come about – but knowing what we want is essential.
Think back on the dreams you once had, but haven’t acted on. Perhaps as a child, a young adult, or even recently. Chances are, they are still alive in your heart.
What if you decided to pursue them? How would realizing them feel?
Opening to the unknown can conjure feelings of dis-ease and anxiety. But reaching for the stars brings us alive.
Breathe deeply and know that life is awaiting you.
Trust where it is leading.
And, if you’re like me, you will give thanks that you followed.
“If the only prayer you ever said in your whole life was ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.” – Meister Eckhart
Thank you for giving me a place to share my thoughts and inspiration.
Wishing you a joy-filled holiday!
In loving service,
Theresa
Gratitude is literally one of the few things that can measurably change people’s lives.” – Bob Emmons, Ph.D.
I recently had the opportunity to listen to an interview with Bob Emmons, Ph.D. – a leading authority on gratitude and author of Gratitude Works, who spoke on the benefits of gratitude. The interview was part of a year long training program I am attending in the application of positive neuroplasticity with Dr. Rick Hanson.
While gratitude has often been thought of as a touchy-feeling spiritual practice, with perhaps little to no practical implications, gratitude, in fact, has been scientifically proven to have multiple physical, psychological and social benefits. Here are just a few:
Research has shown that adults who practice gratitude on a regular basis experience the following benefits:
Physical
- Exercise more regularly and take better care of their health
- Report fewer illness symptoms
- Have stronger immune systems
- Are less bothered by aches and pains
- Have lower blood pressure
- Respond more effectively to daily stressors, and may show increased resilience when confronted with trauma induced stress
- Sleep an average of 30-minutes longer each night and wake feeling more alive and vital
Psychological
- Have higher levels of positive emotions, such as joy, enthusiasm and love
- Are protected from envy, greed, resentment and bitterness
- Are more alert, alive and awake
- Feel more optimistic and happier
- Have fewer toxic negative emotions
- Can experience a decrease in the duration and frequency of depression
- Have a higher sense of self-worth
Social
- Are more helpful, generous and compassionate
- Feel more loving, joyful, forgiving and enthusiastic
- Are more outgoing
- Have improved relationships
- Have increased feelings of connectedness, and even altruism
- Experience increased social support
THIS WEEK’S TIP ‘N TOOL
PRACTICE: GROWING HAPPINESS THROUGH GRATITUDE
People who kept a gratitude journal once a week for 10-weeks reported a 25% increase in happiness. So…
This week you can begin your gratitude practice by starting a gratitude journal.
For instance, you might like to purchase a journal or notebook that appeals to you, and that brings a sense of pleasure to look at and write in.
Then, once a week (or more often, if you like), write five things your grateful for.
As an extra boost, at the beginning or end of every day, spend a little quiet time reflecting on the “good facts” in your life.
For instance, the comfortable bed you’re lying on, the sun shining through your window, the warmth (or coolness) of the air on your skin, etc. (I like to do this in the evening, while lying in bed, just prior to sleeping.)
Then, soak in the good feelings that arise as you reflect on what you’ve written in your gratitude journal and as you review the good facts in your life at the beginning or end of the day.
The practice of “soaking in the good” is an important step and will help to tilt your brain in the direction of happiness and positivity.
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I am a Certified Life Coach, Energy Healing Practitioner, Workshop Leader and Author with more than 25 years’ experience. It gives me great pleasure to help my clients grow the resources they need so they can flourish and lead the lives they desire. My books, “Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself, and “I Am the Treasure,” can be found on Amazon.
For more information and to schedule an appointment email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com. Coaching and healing sessions are available internationally by Skype and telephone, and in person in Trieste, Italy.
Preamble
I wrote the original version of this post back in August 2013. Amazing how time flies! Since then I’ve learned a lot more about the power of the brain and how it’s conditioned to tilt toward the negative based on our ancestors’ needs for survival; something that kept them on constant alert for oncoming threats and danger. Their need for protection was prominent, and therefore the reaction to potential danger to fight or flee was hardwired into the brain for the purpose of keeping them safe; something the brain continues to do today even when theres’s no real threat of danger. It’s no wonder that many of us struggle in pursuit of our dreams and goals, or are afraid to make changes because we’re conditioned to think the worst. This is known as the brain’s “negativity bias.”
I am so grateful for the HEAL process, developed by Dr. Rick Hansen, and the growth I’m seeing in myself, and others, based on the principles of experience dependent neuroplasticity (also known as Positive Neuroplasticity); a simple, yet powerful process that helps us grow inner resources for safety, satisfaction and connection so we can better meet life’s challenges and enjoy greater health, happiness and fulfillment.
SOWING SEEDS OF HAPPINESS
“All that I am is the result of all that I have thought.” – Buddha
It’s amazing how fast time flies, and how our dreams and goals, and the changes we wish to make often get sidetracked by the thoughts we think, the beliefs we hold, and the rationale that we’ll get to them someday. If this sounds familiar to you, don’t let your thoughts and beliefs hijack you!
Every word we speak, and every thought we think, has a powerful and corresponding effect. Whether we know it or not, we are constantly creating our own reality through our thoughts, beliefs and perceptions. Moreover, when we react to conditions and situations in our lives, the brain behaves as though we are in danger and strives to keep us safe.
For instance, let’s say you want to learn how to dance, but your mind tells you all the reasons you shouldn’t do it: “You won’t know anyone in the class, ” “you’ll make a fool of yourself,” “you’ve got nothing to wear,” and “it’s too expensive,” etc. In this way, the amygdala, the part of the brain whose job it is to keep us safe, reacts and prompts us to flee, by staying at home and watching a movie by ourselves instead. And so rather than risk trying something new, we may feel lonely and unsatisfied as our dreams and goals are thwarted.
Alternatively, we can respond to life’s challenges by learning how to calm the nervous system and help the brain learn from positive facts and experiences. As we do, we create new neural pathways within the circuitry of the brain, which lead to a greater sense of well-being, joy and contentment.
Let’s redo our dance scenario. Let’s say, once again, you want to learn to dance. You still feel anxious and nervous about talking the class, but this time you recognize the brain’s bias toward negativity and its function to protect and keep you from what it perceives as danger. Instead of reacting to the situation and staying at home to watch a movie, you respond by drawing on the inner resources you’ve developed for safety, satisfaction and connection. In this case, growing resources of calmness, confidence and feelings of belonging may have helped you feel more relaxed and comfortable about about taking the dance class. As neurons that fire together wire together, over time, you would be helping the brain learn from the new experience.
A final note: Please note that the practice isn’t about denying what’s happening within or around us. It’s about becoming mindful of our needs and growing inner resources that help us better meet life’s challenges. In doing so we create greater happiness for ourselves, for others, and for the world.
THIS WEEK’S TIP ‘N TOOL:
SOWING SEEDS OF HAPPINESS
Change starts with mindfulness…
This week, without judging your thoughts, or yourself, simply notice the thoughts you’re thinking and the feelings they elicit. Be mindful of what they’re telling you. Ask yourself if they’re really true.
Next…
Try calming your nervous system by putting your right hand on your heart and taking several deep breaths. Let your exhale be longer than your inhale. Repeat this exercise until you feel a little calmer.
Choose a Resource…
Ask yourself what resource would be helpful to meet the challenge you’re experiencing.
Try this…
For example, let’s say you’ve been feeling insecure, afraid and timid. To match the resource to the situation, you might choose to grow confidence.
Begin by taking a few breaths, and relax as you let go and feel supported by the chair beneath you. As you breathe, and feel yourself relax, let go of any remaining tension. Then, as you’re ready, visualize or think of a time, or times, you felt confident.
Notice the sensations in your body, and any thoughts you may have in support of your feeling confident as you watch the experience play out in your minds eye. If opposite emotions or thoughts come up, know that’s natural and bring your attention back to the experience of feeling confident.
If you’re not visual, or have trouble visualizing, think of a time you felt confident and what that feels like in your body.
Enrich the experience by making it bigger. For instance, notice the details – where you are, what you’re doing, who you’re with, how the air feels on your skin, etc.
Then, let the sensations you’re experiencing as you visualize or think about the situation flow down into your body, like a sponge soaking in water. Stay with the sensations for 5 to 20 seconds or longer. Let yourself absorb and enjoy the experience.
When you’re ready, open your eyes.
Then, as you go through the course of your day, be aware times you feel encouraged, hopeful and assured, and once again, let the good feelings of the positive experience flow down into your body.
When done consistently, you will help the brain to learn from the new experience, and over time, the tendency to tilt to the positive will become more natural.
Good Facts…
Look for good facts that support your feeling confident. For instance,, notice the things you do well, or the things you accomplish as you go about your day. Then soak in the good feelings.
***Note that absorbing the good feelings into your body for as little as five to 10 seconds is what will help your brain to learn and grow for the better, and is an essential part of the practice.***
For more resources, please check out my books on Amazon.
As always, I’d love to hear about your experience, should you decide to try the process.
With love, Theresa
Connect with me on:
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Dear Friends,
Do you find it easy to say “Yes,” to others’ requests, but hard to say “Yes” to yourself?
Do you have a vision or intention for how to spend your holidays, but get hijacked by requests that you have a hard time saying “No” to?
The holidays can be a time of joy and cheer, as well as elicit feelings of stress and pressure.
While we may enjoy all that the holidays offer as we attend parties and other events; decorate our homes; shop for special gifts; visit friends and travel to see relatives and; make our favorite holiday recipes, among other festivities, we can also feel stretched and experience a strain on our time, energy, and financial reserves.
We may rationalize our decision to forgo our own needs, because we don’t want to offend our friends and family members, or risk disapproval from those we love or value.
But saying “No” provides an opportunity for others to grow, and care for themselves, and respect your personal needs.
Here are seven tips, and related questions, to help you gain clarity and take care of yourself this holiday season:
1. Take Inventory
– When are you saying “Yes” when you would rather say “No?”
– Are there particular circumstances or people who present a challenge?
2. Be Mindful
– How does it feel in your body when you say “Yes” instead of “No?”
– Pay attention to stress and tension.
3. Is what you fear will happen really true?
– How do you know?
– Is what you’re afraid of happening absolutely true?
– Regardless of what has happened in the past, this is a new moment.
– How can you take care of yourself if what you’re afraid of actually happens?
4. What is saying “Yes” costing you?
– Are you tired and forfeiting rest?
– Do you have the financial resources to travel or buy expensive presents?
– Do you want to attend the events you’ve been invited to, or go out of obligation and later feel angry or resentful?
– What other costs might there be?
5. Are you willing to pay the price?
– If you’re answer is “Yes,” do so with awareness. What will the payoffs be?
– If your answer is “No,” what could you do instead” (See #6 below)
6. Saying “No” takes practice
– If you’re feeling nervous about expressing yourself, you may find it helpful to write down what it is you want to say.
– Then practice with a friend, a coach, or even in the mirror!
7. Moving Forward
– What qualities do you need to grow inside yourself in order to feel comfortable setting healthy boundaries?
– Reflect on a time you were presented with a challenge and took care of yourself by setting a healthy boundary.
– Notice how the positive sensations feel in your body, and let the feelings flow through you.
– You can also think about how you felt – perhaps you felt a sense of confidence, or felt secure or empowered.
– Let the good feelings soak in as you stay with the experience for five to 20 seconds.
As always, I would love to hear from you.
With love,
Theresa
If you found today’s post helpful, please comment and share.
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Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator, and author with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams, and create healthier, happier, more fulfilling lives.
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“Shine your light and make a positive impact on the world; there is nothing so honorable as helping improve the lives of others.” – Roy T. Bennett
I am reading the book “The Power of You,” by Chris Michaels. I have just finished the first chapter. The book is about our relationship with the Divine – the spiritual Presence we know by many names: God, Spirit, Creator. What we call “It” doesn’t matter.
We are all Divinely connected. Individual and unique expressions of Life; each with our own gifts and talents, and capacities for loving and giving. This is how we can truly change the world – by following our bliss; our dreams; our goals; and knowing there is a Divine Presence that wants the best for us. We are Its channels.
We add value to the world, and make a difference in the lives of others, by the simple things we do.
I recently sent a small amount of money to an elderly relative who is living on social security, and a small amount of food stamps. It’s something I learned from my father, who always impressed me with his generosity and I now follow in his footsteps, when I feel called and inspired to do so. Not from obligation, but from a place of loving presence.
We are beacons of light. We have the power to love, to heal, to care for and to bless one another, through our words, our actions, and the very essence of who we are.
I received a message from my relative the other day thanking me, and letting know that my contribution made a significant difference to her sense of security and well-being. It was a small gift, but it meant the world to her.
Our acts of kindness don’t have to be financial – they can be whatever we feel guided and inspired to do, moment by moment. And in doing so, we lift the lives of others, and ourselves, and increase the vibrations of love and well-being on our planet.
THIS WEEK’S TNT
What’s one act of kindness you can do today to make a difference in someone’s life?
It can be an act of kindness to someone you know or to a perfect stranger.
Notice how good it feels to contribute to another’s sense of well-being.
Not from obligation, or winning favor, but from a spirit of love and generosity.
And what we give will come back to us in ways we may never fathom. Like a sacred circle.
Try it for a day, a week, a month, a lifetime.
Little by little, our acts of kindness can, and do, make a difference.
It’s all a matter of practice.
If you like, try using the following affirmation from Chapter 11 of
ALPHABET AFFIRMATIONS: TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE AND LOVE YOURSELF
“MY HEART IS OPEN WIDE. I SPREAD KINDNESS EVERYWHERE I GO.
Then let your heart fill with love, and like a soothing balm flowing through you, let the good feelings fill your body.
As always, I would love to hear your comments, and how this week’s TNT works for you.
With love,
Theresa
“Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself” is an empowering process that can help you change your thoughts and create greater health, happiness, and fulfillment.
AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.
PURCHASE YOUR COPY HERE
Don’t have a Kindle? No worries! Download the free app and read on your Smartphone, computer or tablet.
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing Practitioner, Author, and Workshop Leader with more than 25 years’ experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams, and create greater health, happiness and fulfillment. She is trained in positive psychology, neuroscience, practical spirituality, among other modalities.
Connect with me on:
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We all experience discouragement from time to time. The key, when in the midst of challenge, is learning to focus on the positive.
“If you keep saying things are going to be bad, you have a good chance of being a prophet.” – Isaac Bashevis Singer
It’s easy to feel frustrated when things don’t go our way, or take longer than we wish. We may become discouraged, and think that what we long for will never come to pass. Over time, if we don’t change the course of our thinking, the things we tell ourselves will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If you would like a different outcome, and one that leads to your success, tell a different story, and shift your focus to your wins.
THIS WEEK’S TNT
Keep a journal of all that’s going well.
At the end of every day, add a daily entry.
It will help to change your focus and increase your happiness and energy.
Need some ideas? Here are a few to get you started:
You:
Caught an early bus, and made it to work on time!
Saw a friend you hadn’t seen in a while and enjoyed a lovely visit.
You saw a job posting in your field of interest, and filled out an application.
The sun was shining!
You took loving care of your body, and ate a nourishing meal.
You spoke up for yourself at a meeting.
Your car started!
Get the idea?
Experiment!
Try it for a month. Then, notice any changes in your outlook and your life.
It doesn’t matter how large or small the good things you notice are.
The benefits are yours to enjoy, and will come with daily practice.
With love, Theresa
Need help changing your thoughts and words?
“Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself” is an empowering process that can help you change your thoughts and create greater health, happiness, and fulfillment.
AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.
PURCHASE YOUR COPY HERE
Don’t have a Kindle? No worries! Download the free app and read on your Smartphone, computer or tablet.
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing Practitioner, Author, and Workshop Leader with more than 25 years’ experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams, and create greater health, happiness and fulfillment. She is trained in positive psychology, neuroscience, practical spirituality, among other modalities.
Connect with me on:
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo
Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy
“People deal too much with the negative, with what is wrong. Why not try to see the positive things, to touch just those things and make them bloom?” – Thich Nhat Hanh
Such a savoury thought.
I recently returned from a 7-week trip to the U.S., where I had the great pleasure of spending time with family and friends. More than a year had gone by; way too long. I established a deeper relationship with my son, who I miss and dearly love; visited my 93 year-old aunt in New Jersey; had a wonderful time hiking, cooking, talking and reconnecting with friends; soaked in the natural beauty of the Pacific Northwest; and toddled around my own stomping grounds in New York City. What a glorious trip it was!
Over the last week, I’ve slowly (or maybe not SO slowly!) have been getting back into the swing of things in my current home in Trieste, Italy. Several days ago I organized an event for my Women’s Spiritual Support and Empowerment MeetUp Group and went to see Walk With Me, a movie about Zen Meditation and Mindfulness teacher, Thich Nhat Hanh, and his monastery in France. It was such a wonderful reminder of how we can resource ourselves with peace, safety and connection, when living in the midst of a storm, whether it be personal, relational, political, or global.
I participated in two of Nhat Hanh’s programs when I lived in New York – an evening program at The Beacon Theater and a day-long retreat at the Blue Cliff Monastery in Upstate New York. A gentle and beautiful soul, he is one of my favorite teachers, and I find even listening to his voice brings a sense of peace and calmness.
Although I attended two of his live events, I learned the “half-smile“ meditation while reading Being Peace (at least I think that’s the book!); one of Thich Nhat Hanh’s many publications. The practice is simple, yet profound; only takes a few minutes to do; and fits in perfectly with positive neuroplasticity – the process of rewiring the brain for happiness, which I have a great pleasure of studying with Dr. Rick Hanson.
Give the half-smile a try and see how it works for you!
THIS WEEKS TNT – THE HALF-SMILE
If you’re feeling low, anxious or want to experience greater peace, love or joy in your your life , close your eyes and take a breath.
Then, let your lips curl into a half-smile, as you exhale.
Notice the sensations in your body.
Let whatever sensations you may experience fill you.
Stay with the good feelings for five to ten seconds.
Then, enjoy the moment.
Should you try it, I would love to know how the half-smile works for you.
Need help transforming your thoughts and words into those that support and inspire you?
Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself is a fun and empowering process that will help you transform your thoughts into ones the lift, nurture and support you, whether you’re dealing with relationships, financial, confidence, or other issues. There’s an affirmation waiting to reveal itself to you!
Available on Amazon
Don’t have a Kindle? Download the free Kindle App on your cell phone, computer or tablet. Carry your favorite affirmations wherever you are.
FIND YOUR COPY ON AMAZON
HERE’S WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING:
“Theresa’s book and techniques will help guide you on your path to transformation. When you create a life you love and are grateful for your life, mind, body and spirit receive the love message and all benefit.” Bernie Siegel, M.D., Author of 365 Prescriptions For The Soul
“A beautiful and simple concept – as easy as ABC! This sweet book offers a creative way to counter the leanings of the mind and provides exercises to stay buoyant and positive — and it offers a section to add even more affirmations to the mix! How cool is that? A great book to have on hand as a reminder that every moment is a new moment and it “affirms” that one can transform their thoughts and their lives in a quick minute. My favorite letter is Q!” – S.G.
PURCHASE YOUR COPY HERE
If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal. It’s here:
“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” –George Bernard Shaw
Reducing your stress has the implications of strengthening your immune system and lowering your cortisol levels, which in turn reduces inflammation and improves your overall health.
I’ve been feeling a bit under the weather these last few days and have been coloring in one of the coloring books I purchased when I was in Barcelona for a week’s vacation last November. I flipped through the pages, found a design I liked by Joan Fabre’ I Oliver, and have been keeping the book on my living room counter, open to the page I’m coloring, to give me easy access. Each time I walk by, I take a peek, and when I feel inspired, stop for a minute or two or five and color another piece. I just finished coloring in the sides with Faber Castell’s Middle Purple Pink! When I finished the section, I stood for a moment and noticed how light, calm and healthy I felt.
We often think of reducing stress as a stressful thing to do – and something we have to work at. But what if we had a paradigm shift and saw stress as an opportunity to be more playful?
THIS WEEK’S TNT
Do something every day that makes you smile, lights you up and brings a sense of joy and playfulness.
Then stop and notice how good you feel and let the positive sensations soak in.
Doing so on a regular basis will reduce your stress and improve your sense of happiness.
With love,
Theresa
STRESS LESS. CHARGE YOUR LIFE.
“ALPHABET AFFIRMATIONS: TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE AND LOVE YOURSELF” IS AN EASY AND EMPOWERING PROCESS, THAT CAN HELP YOU REDUCE YORU STRESS AND CHARGE YOUR LIFE WITH GREATER HEALTH AND HAPPINESS.
PURCHASE YOUR COPY ON AMAZON.
https://goo.gl/DSEpCY
HERE’S WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING:
“Theresa’s book and techniques will help guide you on your path to transformation. When you create a life you love and are grateful for your life, mind, body and spirit receive the love message and all benefit.” Bernie Siegel, M.D., Author of 365 Prescriptions For The Soul
“A beautiful and simple concept – as easy as ABC! This sweet book offers a creative way to counter the leanings of the mind and provides exercises to stay buoyant and positive — and it offers a section to add even more affirmations to the mix! How cool is that? A great book to have on hand as a reminder that every moment is a new moment and it “affirms” that one can transform their thoughts and their lives in a quick minute. My favorite letter is Q!” – S.G.
FIND IT ON AMAZON
https://goo.gl/DSEpCY
If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal. It’s here:
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Author, and Workshop Facilitator with more 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives.
Website: www.reconnecting2you.com
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo
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“Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.” – Desmond Tutu
I took a bus ride to Aurisina a few days ago – a small town about 15 km from Trieste, in the karst part of the commune of Duino-Aurisina, where I often hike along the Rilke Trail – as I had an appointment for a medical exam.
I noticed a woman, somewhere in her 50’s or 60’s, I would guess, who had gotten up from her seat several rows behind me to stand by the door at the front of the bus, although I didn’t know why. I settled in for the 45-minute bus ride, activated the Duolingo Italian program in my cell phone to keep myself occupied, and looked up along the way to take in the lovely view of the Gulf of Trieste as we progressed up the hill toward my destination.
I lost track of the woman standing at the front of the bus, until we both got off in Aurisina. As this was my first time there, I wasn’t sure where to go, and was scoping out the area. The woman from the bus saw me looking around and came over to direct me. Although she didn’t speak English (and I little Italian), we found a way to communicate, and I followed her, as we were both going in the same direction.
Although she was called before me, I finished my exam first, and walked outside to catch the bus to Duino, where I planned to stop for a coffee and walk the Rilke Trail, as it was such a beautiful day. I missed the bus by seconds, and was waiting for the next one, when the nice lady who helped me appeared and crossed the street to catch the bus that was heading back to Trieste. Her bus approached, but it pulled out before she got on, as she stopped to ask me if I was coming! Our eyes met, and we each shrugged our shoulders in recognition of what had just happened, then she came over to my side of the street and decided to ride with me to Duino! We laughed and talked as best we could, and enjoyed the 20-minute ride. I found out she also likes walking, as she asked me if I would like to get together to go hiking sometime. We exchanged phone numbers, and I heard from her this morning.
We never know when and how connections will be made or what their purpose is. The people we meet along the way provide us with whatever we need at the moment, we do the same for them. It’s one of Life’s gifts and blessings.
THIS WEEK’S TNT
Be open to opportunities to connect with the people around you.
You may not know what gifts they bring or those you’re there to share.
If you like, experiment with using the following affirmation from Chapter 11 from “Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself:”
“My heart is open wide. I spread Kindness everywhere I go.”
Soak in the good feelings as you think of a time you experienced someone’s kindness or a time when you were kind.
Let the feelings fill your body for two or more breaths. And notice how your energy shifts.
Then be open to the possibilities Life provides you to connect with those around you.
With love, Theresa
“ALPHABET AFFIRMATIONS: TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE AND LOVE YOURSELF” IS AN EASY TO USE E-BOOK, AND EMPOWERING PROCESS, THAT CAN HELP YOU REVAMP YOUR MINDSET AND LIVE THE LIFE THAT YOU DESIRE.
HERE’S WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING:
“Theresa’s book and techniques will help guide you on your path to transformation. When you create a life you love and are grateful for your life, mind, body and spirit receive the love message and all benefit.” Bernie Siegel, M.D., Author of 365 Prescriptions For The Soul
“A beautiful and simple concept – as easy as ABC! This sweet book offers a creative way to counter the leanings of the mind and provides exercises to stay buoyant and positive — and it offers a section to add even more affirmations to the mix! How cool is that? A great book to have on hand as a reminder that every moment is a new moment and it “affirms” that one can transform their thoughts and their lives in a quick minute. My favorite letter is Q!” – S.G.
AVAILABLE ON AMAZON
https://goo.gl/DSEpCY
If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal. It’s here:
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Author, and Workshop Facilitator with more 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives.
Read the rest of this entry »
” Traveling solo does not always mean. you’re alone. Most often, you meet marvelous people along the way and make connections that last a lifetime.” – Jacqueline Boone
Although I’ve gone to many events alone since I was a teenager (concerts, movies, theater), I haven’t always liked traveling da sola. But when I was in my early 30’s, I grew tired of waiting for other people to join me and decided to venture out on my own! So last Sunday, like many other days, I packed my back and set out. This time to someplace local.
It was the first day, in too many to count, that the sun had finally come out. And what a beautiful day it was!
I began by casting my first vote, ever, in Italy’s national elections. As a dual citizen, I have the ability and privilege. It was quite a beautiful experience.
After casting my vote, I decided to hop on a boat and take the 30-minute ride to Muggia, a quaint little town across the Gulf of Trieste, which I periodically like to go to. The air felt warm on my face and hands and the ride was calm and pleasant. I had gone to Muggia just the day before, when a friend took me on a little adventure and showed me a path that stretches for miles along the shore. That’s where I was heading.
The advantage of traveling alone is that you can follow your nose and change direction whenever you feel inspired. I walked for an hour – about three miles – then decided to hop on the #7 bus and go to Lazzaretto – a small town two miles or so down the road. At first glance, it didn’t look like there was much to see, so contemplated returning to Muggia. But aha! I then spotted a sign for Vigna Sul Mar and hopped off the bus just in time – seconds before it returned to Muggia. What a glorious experience it was! I took lots of photos as I walked through the vineyard, shared an apple with a horse I befriended along the way, and later met Mr. Urizio, the vineyard’s owner, with whom I struck up a conversation. Although my Italian language skills are still pretty basic, we had a nice connection. He asked if I wanted to see the cantina where he stores his wine and oil, and of course, I was delighted! And yes, there’s more – as I was leaving, he called to me, and brought me a bottle of olive oil!
Traveling alone is an adventure! While all types of travel can help us expand and learn from each other, traveling da sola is special. It opens doors and provides us with experiences we would likely never have if we were traveling with another.
THIS WEEKS TNT
Up for some adventure, but feel uncomfortable going alone?
TRY THIS:
Choose someplace you would like to go that helps you stretch, but isn’t too far out of your comfort zone.
It could be someplace near or far, someplace new, or a place you would like to return to.
DO YOUR RESEARCH
Look into resources for how to get to and fro, and timetables to help you plan your trip, if needed.
GET SUPPORT
Connect with friends who have traveled alone to get their support and feedback.
GET READY TO GO!
If going on a day trip, consider bringing a day pack with a bottle of water and snacks.
If going further, take clothes that you can mix and match and keep your suitcase light.
When feeling anxious about striking out on your own, start small and build on your successes!
With love, Theresa
WANT TO BUILD YOUR CONFIDENCE AND CREATE A LIFE YOU LOVE?
ALPHABET AFFIRMATIONS: TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE AND LOVE YOURSELF IS AN EASY TO USE AND EMPOWERING PROCESS THAT CAN HELP YOU REVAMP YOUR MINDSET AND LIVE THE LIFE THAT YOU DESIRE.
HERE’S WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING:
“Theresa’s book and techniques will help guide you on your path to transformation. When you create a life you love and are grateful for your life, mind, body and spirit receive the love message and all benefit.” Bernie Siegel, M.D., Author of 365 Prescriptions For The Soul
“A beautiful and simple concept – as easy as ABC! This sweet book offers a creative way to counter the leanings of the mind and provides exercises to stay buoyant and positive — and it offers a section to add even more affirmations to the mix! How cool is that? A great book to have on hand as a reminder that every moment is a new moment and it “affirms” that one can transform their thoughts and their lives in a quick minute. My favorite letter is Q!” – S.G.
AVAILABLE ON AMAZON
https://goo.gl/DSEpCY
If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal. It’s here:
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Author, and Workshop Facilitator with more 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives.
Read the rest of this entry »
“I do not understand the mystery of Grace – only that it meets us where we are, but does not leave us where it found us.” – Anne Lamott
I recently had the opportunity to support a friend who is struggling with uncertainty and change, something I’m sure most, if not all of us can relate to, especially in these turbulent times.
Yet, by whatever name we call it: Grace, The Universe, Energy, God, Love, Source, or something else, there is a power for good at work in our lives, but it’s up to us to quiet our minds and connect to it.
I felt a deep sense of compassion as I listened to my friend talk about the lack of direction she has been feeling about where to move, as she can no longer stay where she is living. I woke the following morning inspired to share a prayer from A Course in Miracles (ACIM):
God, show me where you would have me go,
What you would have me do,
What you would have me say,
And to whom.
My friend and I continued to email and kept our conversation going. I was later inspired to send her an entry from my e-book, “Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself,” which seemed to deeply touch her. It comes from the letter “D.”
“I am Divinely guided and make Decisions that Delight me!”
My friend wrote back thanking me, and told me she was almost crying as she read the affirmation, and shared that clarity seemed a very distant and vague idea. She was comforted by my words.
Grace comes in many forms. An inspiring word, a hand extended from a friend, an unexpected gift or blessing.
It’s easy for the mind to focus on what’s wrong and not see the the miracles that are unfolding right before us. A few days ago a friend told me had coats she is no longer using and asked me if I wanted them. She knew the zipper on my jacket had broken and I hadn’t yet found a replacement. We met for coffee a few days later and she brought the two coats with her. They are exactly what I had been looking for and appear to be brand new. I so appreciated her kind and generous gesture.
As Jean Houston likes to say, “What we appreciate, appreciates.” As we reflect on the good in our lives, it opens up the channels for Life’s grace and blessings to flow to us.
THIS WEEK’S TNT
Notice where you are feeling stuck or experiencing a lack of clarity or direction.
Then, for the next week, take note of the good things occurring in your life.
Start your day by expecting something wonderful!
You might like to practice standing with eyes closed and arms outstretched, while repeating the following affirmation:
“I am now open to receive all of Life’s blessings.”
Then see what happens!
The blessings will likely come in unexpected ways.
Take time to reflect on them and soak in the good feelings,
And open to Life’s ever-present Grace.
With love,
Theresa
NEED HELP CHANGING YOUR THOUGHTS AND PERCEPTIONS?
“ALPHABET AFFIRMATIONS: TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE AND LOVE YOURSELF’ IS AN EASY TO USE AND EMPOWERING PROCESS THAT CAN HELP YOU REVAMP YOUR MINDSET AND LIVE THE LIFE THAT YOU DESIRE.
AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.
If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal. It’s here:
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Author, and Workshop Facilitator with more 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives.
Read the rest of this entry »
“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you’re heading.” – Lao Tzu
Change can be both exhilarating and scary. Whether we wish to change careers, sell or purchase a home, move to a new city or country, begin or end a relationship, or do anything that’s new, the future is unknown and can prompt feelings of fear and insecurity.
A few months ago, I had a chat with an American woman who has been living in Trieste for 15 years or so. She works for an American support organization, and has watched people who have relocated from abroad come and go. I had been feeling a bit lonely the day I saw her, and was longing for connections on a deeper, more personal level. She said I was at a crisis point, wondering if I would ever learn the language, make closer friends, establish a clientele, learn the subtleties between cultures, etc. I felt like she was a mindreader and was inside of my head! The thing that helped me most was when she said that what I was feeling was common and the point at which most people left and returned home. Wow. Although I had no intention of moving, it made perfect sense and gave me a new perspective.
The challenges that come with change are true with any endeavor. The reptilian part of our brains are hard-wired to keep us safe, so we’re bound to question our decisions, and wonder if we’re on the right path when feelings of doubt and insecurity rear their frightening heads. Our ancestors were on alert for their physical safety, and had to fight or flee when their environment was threatened. In modern times, the “old” brain kicks in when it perceives an emotional threat, and can stop us in our tracks.
I still feel lonely and insecure from time to time, however, I remind myself that what I’m feeling is natural; take a breath; reach out for support, when needed; and move on.
Fear is a common occurrence and something we are bound to experience when we stretch our comfort zones and embark on something new. The key is recognizing where the fear is stemming from, and tapping in to our Inner Strength and the wisdom of our guts.
THIS WEEK’S TNT
What change have you been wanting to make, but have been afraid of doing so?
On a scale of “1” to “10,” with “1” Not At All Important and “10” Extremely Important, how important is the change you wish to make?
What’s holding you back?
Notice the feelings that emerge. Are you scared, excited, happy, terrified?
Are the thoughts that you’re thinking true and serving you? Or are they assumptions based on beliefs that are trying to keep you safe?
Take a breath and call on your Inner Wisdom.
What feels right for you to do?
Ask your gut, not your head!
What brings a feeling of deep peace and inner contentment?
Your gut will serve to guide you.
With love, Theresa
Need help changing your thoughts and perceptions?
“Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself” is an empowering tool that may help you make the changes you desire, and create a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life.
Available on Amazon.
If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal. It’s here:
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Author, and Workshop Facilitator with more 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives.
Read the rest of this entry »
” What is outrageous is not what you ask for. What is outrageous is what you settle for.” – Alan Cohen
I wrote a blog a few months ago on the power of our words. (Sorry, that one was sent to to email list, and isn’t posted here.) It was inspired by a talk I heard on TEDx by Dr. Carolyne Myss, entitled “Choices That Can Change Your Life.” In her talk, Dr. Myss cited several strategies that I thought were quite empowering. My favorite technique was giving up one word from my vocabulary and never using it again. The word that immediately came to mind was “can’t!”
We often hold ourselves back from our dreams and desires without realizing it. We have our favorite words or strategies that keep us living small and narrow lives, as we fear the worst will happen and settle for what we have rather than taking the risk and going for what we want.
As I contemplated letting go of the word “can’t,” I reflected on how my life would expand as I opened to new adventures, ideas, and opportunities. Interestingly, since I let it go, I’ve become much more aware of when I feel vulnerable (a feeling that the word “can’t” was masking), which allows me to make a conscious choice about what I want to do – one that serves to take care of myself and empowers me – rather than acting on impulse. So…a few week’s ago, excited by the change, I decided to let go of the word “try.” (Remember Yoda? Do or do not. There is no try?) It’s another one of those insidious words that casts a shadow on our gifts, dreams, and abilities. Yes – it’s true – we all have our limits. After all, I’ll likely never be a mathematician or a geologist, but why settle for limits that are self-imposed and that are rooted in our beliefs and history?
This Weeks TNT
Observe your thoughts and words over the next three days.
Make note of the thoughts you think and the words you use most consistently.
Write them down and track how often you use them.
At the end of day three, review your notes.
Are your thoughts and words serving to empower or limit you?
If the latter, what word are you ready and willing to give up?
Let it go for the next month and see what, if any, changes you notice.
Change generally comes by taking small steps that lead to big results.
With love, Theresa
©2018
Need help changing your thoughts and words?
“Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself” is an empowering tool that may help you change your thoughts and perceptions and create a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life.
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If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal. It’s here:
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Author, and Workshop Facilitator with more 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives.
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“Although it may feel uncomfortable to think about saying no, it’s important to remember that each time you say yes to someone, or something else, you say no to you and your priorities.” – Oprah Winfrey
We want to be kind. We want to be loved. We want to give because it feels good, and we want to be generous with our gifts, talents, abilities and time. But how often do we say “yes” to requests from friends, colleagues, family members, and others, when we know, within our heart of hearts, that it means taking time away from caring for ourselves?
Saying “no” can conjure up feelings of guilt and shame, because we may think it’s self-centered, and be afraid that others may judge us. But people learn how to treat us by how we treat ourselves.
Giving and receiving is an art of balance. But how can we achieve it? Change begins with awareness. Are you aware of how often you say “yes” when you would rather say “no?” The answer may surprise you!
THIS WEEK’S TNT
This week, make not of how many times you say “yes,” when you would rather say “no.”
Keep a record in a small notebook or make a list on your phone.
Notice how you feel when you say “yes” to something you don’t want to do.
Do you feel resentful, angry, frustrated, stressed, or exhausted?
Your body is giving you clues!
At the end of the week, add up the number of entries in your notebook.
Then, make a list of five things you would like to say “no” to.
Start with something small.
You don’t need to explain or justify yourself.
Don’t know what to say?
Here’s a rule of thumb you can follow:
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don’t say it mean.
Learning to say “no” takes practice. But you can learn how to say it.
The more you practice, the easier it will become.
You will feel better, and while some relationships may fall away, others will deepen and grow.
As always, I would love to hear your comments about how this week’s TNT worked for you and what it is you discovered.
With love, Theresa
If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal. It’s here:
Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. Available internationally by Skype and U.S. telephone.
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.
Website: www.reconnecting2you.com
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
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“Every thought you have makes up some segment of the world you see. It is with your thoughts then, that we must work, if your perception of the world is to be changed.” – A Course In Miracles, Lesson 23
How would your life be different if you changed your thoughts and the words you use?
Whether we know it or not, our words have power and what we give our attention to grows.
I heard a TEDx Talk by Carolyn Myss a while back entitled “Choices That Can Change Your Life.” My biggest take-away was giving away one word from my vocabulary and never using it again. The word that immediately came to mind was “can’t.” I gave it away several months ago, and have rarely used it since.***
We often hold ourselves back from the lives we want without realizing we’re doing it. Our words, and the strategies we use for coping with the world around us, may keep us living smaller than we desire. We may think the worst will happen if we pursue our dreams and goals and settle for what we have rather than embrace what it is we want. Our perceptions are often based on past experiences or conditioning, which has nothing to do with living in the present moment.
Since I’ve given up (or at least reduced!) the word “can’t” from my vernacular, I’ve noticed how my life is expanding and how I’ve become more bold. Like everything, it is a work in progress, as life continues to unfold.
Our words, thoughts, and behaviors are intimately connected. The more conscious we become of what we say and do, the more freedom we have to choose.
Want more love, joy, and abundance in your life? Try out this week’s TNT!
THIS WEEK’S TNT
Pick a day to pay attention to the words you commonly use.
Notice the effect they have on your behavior.
For instance, if you tell yourself you “can’t,” how does it limit you, and what effect does it have on your life?
When you have completed your observation, choose one word to give away for the remainder of the month.
What changes do you notice?
Have fun with it!
Remember, it’s progress not perfection!
As always, I would love to hear your comments about how this week’s TNT worked for you and what it is you discovered.
With love, Theresa
***You can imagine giving your word away to a trusted friend who will take and transform it, or imagine placing it in a pink bubble and releasing it, or whatever else feels right.
If you found this week’s TNT helpful and would like to support my work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal. It’s here:
Are you in transition?
Would you like help addressing an issue you’ve been grappling with?
Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. Available internationally by Skype and U.S. telephone.
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.
Website: www.reconnecting2you.com
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo
Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy
“When you finally accept that it’s okay not to have answers, and it’s okay not to be perfect, you realize that feeling confused is a normal part of what it is to be human.” – Winona Ryder
It’s okay to feel how we feel.
It’s okay if you feel afraid.
It’s okay if you feel lonely.
It’s okay if you feel frustrated.
It’s okay if you feel angry.
It’s okay if you feel resentful.
It’s okay if you feel like things aren’t working out the way you planned.
It’s okay…
When we accept, rather than resist, how we feel, we make room for the feelings to shift, and for peace and balance to follow.
THIS WEEK’S TNT:
When you are feeling upset or tense, notice the sensations in your body.
Do you have a headache?
Are you experiencing pain in your neck, back, or shoulders?
Do your muscles feel tight?
Are you clenching your jaw?
Does your stomach hurt?
Are you experiencing other physical or emotional symptoms?
Take a deep breath and acknowledge your feelings.
It’s the first step on your path to recovery.
Acknowledging your feelings will help you reconnect to yourself, and allow solutions to follow.
As always, I would love to hear your comments about how this week’s TNT worked for you and what it is you discovered.
With love, Theresa
If would you like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal. It’s here:
Are you in transition?
Would you like help addressing an issue you’ve been grappling with?
Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. Available internationally by Skype and U.S. telephone.
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.
Website: www.reconnecting2you.com
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo
Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy
To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
“Ever since happiness heard your name, it has been running through the streets trying to find you.” – Hafez
I was first introduced to the question “Would you rather be right or happy?” as a student of A Course in Miracles back in the 1980’s. It was a profound turning point, and changed the way I viewed my relationships and my perceptions of life.
The mind is riddled with judgment and loves to be right, which creates conflict within ourselves and our personal and global relationships.
The state of the world, and the stress we experience, often stem from our thoughts and perceptions. What would happen if we suspended our judgments for just one day and created space to listen and understand one another? To find common ground? And extend love and compassion to ourselves instead of comparing what we have and who we are to others?
Suspending judgment doesn’t mean we accept the status quo or don’t change what isn’t working when our human needs for love and security are neglected. Rather, it calls for questioning whether our judgments and opinions about ourselves, and others, are accurate.
Our happiness resides within and is waiting to be found. Let’s discover it!
THIS WEEKS TNT
Choose one day during the week to experiment.
Stop at regular intervals during the day to take note of your thoughts and perceptions.
Choose an activity that you engage in throughout the day to serve as a reminder to stop and observe what you are thinking.
Take a breath and notice any stress or discomfort in your body as you take note of your thoughts.
Ask yourself if the thought or perception is accurate.
Is it based on the past or the present?
Is it yours or someone else’s?
How else can you view the situation?
What, if any changes, are you aware of?
As always, I would love to hear your comments about how this week’s TNT worked for you and what it is you discovered.
With love,
Theresa
Are you in transition?
Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. Available internationally by Skype and U.S. telephone.
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.
Website: www.reconnecting2you.com
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo
Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy
To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
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