Archive for the ‘Surrender’ Category
“The knowledge that you can handle anything that comes your way is the key to allowing yourself to take risks.” – Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.
Do you suffer from procrastination? Indecision? Have a difficult time knowing what to do? How do it? Or when? If so, you’re not alone.
Decision-making can be stressful. Weighing options, and the uncertainty that comes from stepping into the unknown, can make us question our thinking, elicit feelings of anxiety and stop us in our tracks. Whether you are concerned about the affects the pandemic will have on your future, are considering moving abroad and living as an expat in a new country or are wondering who to hire for that project that’s been sitting on the back burner, here are several practices I have developed to build trust and move us forward.
See which of the following six practices resonate with you. Try one or try them all. Whichever you choose, each one will help to free a block that’s been keeping you feeling stuck.
Six Practices A Pathway to Making Good Decisions
Practice #1: Let go. Release your expectations and painful outcomes from the past. Rather than obsess about what might happen, or what you did or did not do, choose to investigate instead. Ask yourself: “What is there for me to learn from this situation?” I am a big fan of journaling and find the practice helpful. Perhaps you will, as well.
Practice #2: When in doubt, don’t. Forcing a solution before its time adds undo stress and can prevent new ideas from surfacing. Refocus your attention and give yourself, and the situation you are deliberating, some space. Trust that the guidance, answers and direction you seek will present themselves – likely when least expected.
Practice #3: Face your fears. If you’re worried about making a wrong choice, start by making small ones. Write your decisions down in a notepad or journal and begin taking small, manageable actions that lead you to your goal. Should you experience an unpleasant result, trust that you can handle it and re-evaluate the situation. People sometimes meet with failure before experiencing success. Look at Bill Gates and Colonel Sanders! ! Life may throw us curveballs, but don’t let fear keep you from moving forward.
Practice #4: Reality check. Make a list of all the good decisions you have made to date, and add to it daily. Re-read as necessary to remember your successes.
Practice #5: Do the next right thing. When feeling overwhelmed, rather than focusing on the big picture, chunk it down into small pieces and do the next right thing. This will reduce your anxiety and develop a foundation of trust. Each step will lead to the next, and will eventually guide you to where you’re meant to be.
Practice #6: Appreciation. Acknowledge yourself for taking the actions and trying something new. Life is meant to be lived, one day at a time. Have fun and enjoy and journey!
With love,
Theresa
© Theresa Conti 2020
Bio
Theresa Conti was born and raised in New York. She is a Certified Life Coach, Energy Healing Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator and Author with more than 25 years’ experience. Her books include Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself, and I Am the Treasure.
Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, and develop inner resources, like confidence, courage and resilience, so they can live with greater ease, realize their goals and dreams and better meet life’s challenges. She offers a 30-minute complimentary consultation to get acquainted, discuss your goals , and see how you might work together. She can be reached at Theresa@reconnecting2you.com.
Connect with me on:
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo
Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy
We have been living in the midst of change – in a time of uncertainty – leaving many of us wondering what will happen next as we move into a new phase of life. Although we may feel unclear about our direction, we can choose to take a breath, and open to something new.
“There is a universal, intelligent, life force, that exists within everyone and everything. It resides within us as deep wisdom, an inner knowing. We can access this wonderful source of knowledge and wisdom through our intuition, an inner sense that tells us what feels right and true for us at any given moment. – Shakti Gawain
Ever struggle with trying to figure things out, only to experience greater conflict and confusion? The more we struggle, the further we drift from the answer.
Many years ago, I had a dream that I was in the ocean, but instead of swimming, I was drowning. I was living in Seattle at the time, unclear about my future and what to do in my next phase of life. I was trying to figure it out and was in a state of confusion about where to live, whether to complete a course of study I had recently begun, and whether to continue in my profession or find a new line of work, among other lingering questions. (Can you relate?)
As I observed the dream, I saw myself, clearly and vividly, as if watching a movie – arms flailing about above me, trying to stay afloat. I was far from shore, with nothing and no one in sight to rescue me. I was panicking, and the more fearful I became, the more difficult to stay above the choppy water. As I watched the dream unfold, I could tell that my energy was weakening, and saw myself periodically sinking beneath the water’s surface. Then – out of nowhere – a thought occurred to me: STOP STRUGGLING AND FLOAT. I heeded the message, and as if coming to my senses, lay flat on my back, arms relaxed and lying quietly beside me. Suddenly, the water became clear and calm. Although still far from shore, I could see land, and knew that I was safe.
I can see the dream in my mind’s eye as clearly as if it were yesterday. A powerful lesson. Although I still forget, and my arms occasionally flail about as I try to ‘figure things out,’ I know there is an easier way, and as I let go of the struggle, I find it.
Many of us are grappling with the same questions today. Where to go, and what to do as we move into a new stage of life. There are answers – dreams and desires that are still alive and active within you, waiting for the chance to rise to the surface, and guide you. But we must learn how to listen.
One process I began many years ago, and continue to practice today, comes from The Art of Inner Listening by Jessie K. Crum. I’ve shared a modified version of the practice with many of my clients, and in my intuition development workshops, with promising results. If you like to journal, or are willing to give it a try, the following exercise may provide you with some insights.
The Art of Inner Listening Practice
- Set aside some quiet time, away from external distractions.
- Have a pen and paper handy.
- Take a few breaths and let your mind and body relax. You might find it helpful to create a ritual or mood, like lighting a candle, or playing some soft music in the background, and be sure to silence your phone.
- Close your eyes and think of a situation that’s been troubling you. It may be a relationship, a work situation, a financial dilemma, or other concern.
- When you’re ready, open your eyes, and write the question below across the top of your paper:
“What does my Higher Self want to communicate to me about this situation?”
(Feel free to replace Higher Self with “Intuition,” “Inner Knowing,” or another word or phrase that resonates with you.)
- The answer may come in the form of an image, a word, a feeling, a sentence or a paragraph. It will feel clear and certain in your body, and won’t be judgmental or wordy. You may experience a sense of inner strength and security inside of you.
- If you’re tempted to direct or change the wording, stop and take a breath, letting go of preconceived expectations, or the need to get it right.
Tip: When I get stumped, I find it helpful to say the following phrases aloud: “I am willing to listen,” and “I hear only the truth.” Then relax and return to the process.
- When you’re done writing, sit with your answer. If it’s the voice of your intuition, you will feel a deep sense of peace and your answer will feel authentic and honest.
- Is there an action or next step you can take to implement your inner guidance?
Don’t worry if nothing happens or if the process doesn’t work for you the first time you try it. As with any skill, the more you follow your intuition, and see the results, the stronger it will become.
With love,
Theresa
© Article and Photo Theresa Conti 2020
Bio
Theresa Conti was born and raised in New York. She is a Certified Life Coach, Energy Healing Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator and Author with more than 25 years’ experience. Her books include Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself, and I Am the Treasure. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, and develop inner resources, like confidence, courage and resilience, so they can live with greater ease, realize their goals and dreams and better meet life’s challenges. She has an international practice and provides coaching services via Skype, telephone, and other platforms. She can be reached at Theresa@reconnecting2you.com.
Connect with me on:
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo
Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy
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“Our internal dialogue plays a vital role in shaping our perceptions of reality.” – Deepak Chopra
Communication entails more than the words we speak. It includes our thoughts, our body language, our perceptions, our ability to truly hear what someone is saying – without judgement – and for those of us whose cultures value it – eye contact.
When we think about communicating, we generally think about speaking with others, and forget that we are constantly communicating with ourselves. Our beliefs, attitudes, and the way we think about, and talk to ourselves, effects all aspects of our lives, including our self-esteem, our relationships, our work, and our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual well-being.
Experts estimate that we have between 60,000-80,000 thoughts a day. Out of those, approximately 80% are negative, and 95% are repetitive – meaning we think the same thoughts every day and, in do so, reinforce the neural pathways in the brain. (The phrase “neurons that fire together wire together” was coined by neuropsychologist Donald Hebb in 1949 to describe how pathways in the brain are formed and strengthened through repetition.)
And for those of us who worry a lot, Dr. Robert Leahy, Clinical Professor of Psychology and Psychiatry at Weill Cornell University in New York, tells us that people who worry excessively spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about things that either will never happen, or that they’ll handle well if they do come about. Dr. Leahy goes on to say that one study found that 85% of the things that people worry about had positive – or at least neutral outcomes. (Leahy R. June 2013. Worry No More. URL cognitivetherapnyc.com/bottomh.pdf.)
So, how can we retrain the brain so we can perceive reality more clearly?
The Path of a Buddha: Right Speech
“All that I am is the result of all that I have thought.” – The Buddha
Neuroscience tells us that the brain is geared toward negativity, based on our ancestors’ needs for survival. For instance, the likelihood of being attacked by an opposing tribe, or wild animals on the hunt for food, were real dangers and required our ancestors’ hypervigilance to ensure they and their tribes survived.
Most of us living in today’s world are fortunate: we have shelter, food, clothing, and access to medical care, and no longer need to be as vigilant. And yes, of course, there are exceptions. The point here, is that we often over focus on the negative and reinforce the negativity bias in our minds, recycling the negative messages we give ourselves. The good news is, regardless of life’s circumstances, we can find things that are enjoyable and help our brains learn from the positive.
There are many ways to do this: stopping to savor your morning cup of coffee or tea, noticing a beautiful sunset, the joy of watching your children play, or feeling content when you finish the dishes. As we begin to notice the good facts in our lives, we can move into a more peaceful and empowered state of being, as we grow resources within ourselves for safety, satisfaction and connection.
Another process I find helpful is using and creating affirmations. However, just saying them has no lasting effect on the nervous system – we must embody the feelings that arise as we say them. This is essential in helping the brain lean in the direction of the positive.
What is an Affirmation?
For our purposes, an affirmation is a short, powerful statement, made in the present tense, using positive language.
***Here are a few examples***
“I Appreciate life and Always find things that please me.”
(As you say the affirmation, imagine someone or something you appreciate – a friend, a loved one, an animal, or something enjoyable, like a hot shower, the comfort of your bed, the warmth of your home, or your morning cup of coffee. Notice the feelings and sensations that arise as you think about or watch the scene unfolding. Let it grow bigger, and stay with the sensations for 5 to 10 seconds, or longer, letting them sink in to your body.)
“I Enjoy my life and Engage in activities that Excite me.”
(Imagine something you enjoy doing – either currently or in the past. Then as in the example above, notice the feelings and sensations as you think about, or watch, the scene unfolding, letting it grow bigger. Then, let the good feelings soak down in to your body, like water soaking in to a sponge. As in the example above, stay with the sensations for 5-10 seconds, or longer.)
Note: You can use the same process to imagine enjoying something you would like to do, but haven’t yet done. The experience will still register, as the neurons in your brain are firing.)
“I surround myself with Friends and Family who love, respect and value me.”
(Use the same process as outlined in the examples above. If the affirmation doesn’t ring true for you, imagine what it would feel like to have friends and/or family who love, support and value you. Then continue with the process. You can employ the same method in other situations.)
Regardless of which process you use, it’s important to stay with the good feelings for several breaths or seconds to give your nervous system the opportunity to learn from the positive experience.
Experiment and see what works best for you.
***Excperted from Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself by Theresa Conti.***
Additional resources:
Hanson, R., Ph.D. Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm and Confidence. 2006. Harmony Books.
Leahy R., Ph.D. Worry No More: Five Simple Steps to End Those Troubling Thoughts and Fears. 2013.
“ALPHABET AFFIRMATIONS: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself,” was created out of a nightly gratitude practice , using the letters of the alphabet to help me get back to sleep in times of stress. I rarely made it to “z!”
One night, when feeling a little blue, I shifted my focus and used the letters of the alphabet to relax and comfort myself. I felt deeply cared for and nourished and sank into a deep and restful sleep.
Each letter contains three affirmations, followed by space to write your own, along with instructions for how to use The Alphabet Process.
A deeply healing and empowering practice.
Available on Amazon on Kindle or in paperback.
Here’s What People Are Saying:
“A beautiful and simple concept. As easy as ABC! This sweet book offers a creative way to counter the leanings of the mind and provides exercises to stay buoyant and positive. My favorite letter is Q!
“A joyful and positive journey down alphabet lane. Each letter has affirmations that one may reflect on, contemplate and be inspired by. Feeling creative? There is space to insert your own creations. Beautiful concept and execution.
“Eh già!. Usando questo libro mi sono accorta di quanta resistenza si fa al giorno d’oggi a vedere, ansi no, a pensare POSITIVO! Devo dire GRAZIE GRAZIE e infinitamente GRAZIE all’autrice del libro che con questo semplice esercizio (ma per nulla scontato!) mi ha riportata a vedere le cose diversamente.”
“I’m pleased to read one affirmation every morning. These set a positive direction for my work day as well as days of rest and recharging.”
“Provides lots of ideas for how to make one’s life more positive by visualizing in a fun way! Highly recommended!
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November 27, 2019
I returned to Italy three weeks ago today after an amazing three-month trip to The Netherlands, Germany, Belgium and the U.S.
It’s been a dream of mine to travel since I was quite young. As a teenager, I visualized myself on the planes as I watched them take off from the runways at LaGuardia Airport in New York, and imagined the adventures I’d have.
Then, in my early 20’s my dreams went underground, as my priorities shifted to being a mom and raising my son.
But the dreams that are ours never cease to exist, and one day, after my son turned 18, my dream re-emerged, much to my surprise and delight.
We never know how our dreams will be realized. My three-month trip involved home stays, petsitting, the generosity of friends who so graciously opened their homes to me and a few reservations at BNB’s.
It’s not our job to know how our dreams will come about – but knowing what we want is essential.
Think back on the dreams you once had, but haven’t acted on. Perhaps as a child, a young adult, or even recently. Chances are, they are still alive in your heart.
What if you decided to pursue them? How would realizing them feel?
Opening to the unknown can conjure feelings of dis-ease and anxiety. But reaching for the stars brings us alive.
Breathe deeply and know that life is awaiting you.
Trust where it is leading.
And, if you’re like me, you will give thanks that you followed.
“If the only prayer you ever said in your whole life was ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.” – Meister Eckhart
Thank you for giving me a place to share my thoughts and inspiration.
Wishing you a joy-filled holiday!
In loving service,
Theresa
Preamble
I wrote the original version of this post back in August 2013. Amazing how time flies! Since then I’ve learned a lot more about the power of the brain and how it’s conditioned to tilt toward the negative based on our ancestors’ needs for survival; something that kept them on constant alert for oncoming threats and danger. Their need for protection was prominent, and therefore the reaction to potential danger to fight or flee was hardwired into the brain for the purpose of keeping them safe; something the brain continues to do today even when theres’s no real threat of danger. It’s no wonder that many of us struggle in pursuit of our dreams and goals, or are afraid to make changes because we’re conditioned to think the worst. This is known as the brain’s “negativity bias.”
I am so grateful for the HEAL process, developed by Dr. Rick Hansen, and the growth I’m seeing in myself, and others, based on the principles of experience dependent neuroplasticity (also known as Positive Neuroplasticity); a simple, yet powerful process that helps us grow inner resources for safety, satisfaction and connection so we can better meet life’s challenges and enjoy greater health, happiness and fulfillment.
SOWING SEEDS OF HAPPINESS
“All that I am is the result of all that I have thought.” – Buddha
It’s amazing how fast time flies, and how our dreams and goals, and the changes we wish to make often get sidetracked by the thoughts we think, the beliefs we hold, and the rationale that we’ll get to them someday. If this sounds familiar to you, don’t let your thoughts and beliefs hijack you!
Every word we speak, and every thought we think, has a powerful and corresponding effect. Whether we know it or not, we are constantly creating our own reality through our thoughts, beliefs and perceptions. Moreover, when we react to conditions and situations in our lives, the brain behaves as though we are in danger and strives to keep us safe.
For instance, let’s say you want to learn how to dance, but your mind tells you all the reasons you shouldn’t do it: “You won’t know anyone in the class, ” “you’ll make a fool of yourself,” “you’ve got nothing to wear,” and “it’s too expensive,” etc. In this way, the amygdala, the part of the brain whose job it is to keep us safe, reacts and prompts us to flee, by staying at home and watching a movie by ourselves instead. And so rather than risk trying something new, we may feel lonely and unsatisfied as our dreams and goals are thwarted.
Alternatively, we can respond to life’s challenges by learning how to calm the nervous system and help the brain learn from positive facts and experiences. As we do, we create new neural pathways within the circuitry of the brain, which lead to a greater sense of well-being, joy and contentment.
Let’s redo our dance scenario. Let’s say, once again, you want to learn to dance. You still feel anxious and nervous about talking the class, but this time you recognize the brain’s bias toward negativity and its function to protect and keep you from what it perceives as danger. Instead of reacting to the situation and staying at home to watch a movie, you respond by drawing on the inner resources you’ve developed for safety, satisfaction and connection. In this case, growing resources of calmness, confidence and feelings of belonging may have helped you feel more relaxed and comfortable about about taking the dance class. As neurons that fire together wire together, over time, you would be helping the brain learn from the new experience.
A final note: Please note that the practice isn’t about denying what’s happening within or around us. It’s about becoming mindful of our needs and growing inner resources that help us better meet life’s challenges. In doing so we create greater happiness for ourselves, for others, and for the world.
THIS WEEK’S TIP ‘N TOOL:
SOWING SEEDS OF HAPPINESS
Change starts with mindfulness…
This week, without judging your thoughts, or yourself, simply notice the thoughts you’re thinking and the feelings they elicit. Be mindful of what they’re telling you. Ask yourself if they’re really true.
Next…
Try calming your nervous system by putting your right hand on your heart and taking several deep breaths. Let your exhale be longer than your inhale. Repeat this exercise until you feel a little calmer.
Choose a Resource…
Ask yourself what resource would be helpful to meet the challenge you’re experiencing.
Try this…
For example, let’s say you’ve been feeling insecure, afraid and timid. To match the resource to the situation, you might choose to grow confidence.
Begin by taking a few breaths, and relax as you let go and feel supported by the chair beneath you. As you breathe, and feel yourself relax, let go of any remaining tension. Then, as you’re ready, visualize or think of a time, or times, you felt confident.
Notice the sensations in your body, and any thoughts you may have in support of your feeling confident as you watch the experience play out in your minds eye. If opposite emotions or thoughts come up, know that’s natural and bring your attention back to the experience of feeling confident.
If you’re not visual, or have trouble visualizing, think of a time you felt confident and what that feels like in your body.
Enrich the experience by making it bigger. For instance, notice the details – where you are, what you’re doing, who you’re with, how the air feels on your skin, etc.
Then, let the sensations you’re experiencing as you visualize or think about the situation flow down into your body, like a sponge soaking in water. Stay with the sensations for 5 to 20 seconds or longer. Let yourself absorb and enjoy the experience.
When you’re ready, open your eyes.
Then, as you go through the course of your day, be aware times you feel encouraged, hopeful and assured, and once again, let the good feelings of the positive experience flow down into your body.
When done consistently, you will help the brain to learn from the new experience, and over time, the tendency to tilt to the positive will become more natural.
Good Facts…
Look for good facts that support your feeling confident. For instance,, notice the things you do well, or the things you accomplish as you go about your day. Then soak in the good feelings.
***Note that absorbing the good feelings into your body for as little as five to 10 seconds is what will help your brain to learn and grow for the better, and is an essential part of the practice.***
For more resources, please check out my books on Amazon.
As always, I’d love to hear about your experience, should you decide to try the process.
With love, Theresa
Connect with me on:
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo
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We all experience discouragement from time to time. The key, when in the midst of challenge, is learning to focus on the positive.
“If you keep saying things are going to be bad, you have a good chance of being a prophet.” – Isaac Bashevis Singer
It’s easy to feel frustrated when things don’t go our way, or take longer than we wish. We may become discouraged, and think that what we long for will never come to pass. Over time, if we don’t change the course of our thinking, the things we tell ourselves will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If you would like a different outcome, and one that leads to your success, tell a different story, and shift your focus to your wins.
THIS WEEK’S TNT
Keep a journal of all that’s going well.
At the end of every day, add a daily entry.
It will help to change your focus and increase your happiness and energy.
Need some ideas? Here are a few to get you started:
You:
Caught an early bus, and made it to work on time!
Saw a friend you hadn’t seen in a while and enjoyed a lovely visit.
You saw a job posting in your field of interest, and filled out an application.
The sun was shining!
You took loving care of your body, and ate a nourishing meal.
You spoke up for yourself at a meeting.
Your car started!
Get the idea?
Experiment!
Try it for a month. Then, notice any changes in your outlook and your life.
It doesn’t matter how large or small the good things you notice are.
The benefits are yours to enjoy, and will come with daily practice.
With love, Theresa
Need help changing your thoughts and words?
“Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself” is an empowering process that can help you change your thoughts and create greater health, happiness, and fulfillment.
AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.
PURCHASE YOUR COPY HERE
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Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing Practitioner, Author, and Workshop Leader with more than 25 years’ experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams, and create greater health, happiness and fulfillment. She is trained in positive psychology, neuroscience, practical spirituality, among other modalities.
Connect with me on:
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo
Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy
“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you’re heading.” – Lao Tzu
Change can be both exhilarating and scary. Whether we wish to change careers, sell or purchase a home, move to a new city or country, begin or end a relationship, or do anything that’s new, the future is unknown and can prompt feelings of fear and insecurity.
A few months ago, I had a chat with an American woman who has been living in Trieste for 15 years or so. She works for an American support organization, and has watched people who have relocated from abroad come and go. I had been feeling a bit lonely the day I saw her, and was longing for connections on a deeper, more personal level. She said I was at a crisis point, wondering if I would ever learn the language, make closer friends, establish a clientele, learn the subtleties between cultures, etc. I felt like she was a mindreader and was inside of my head! The thing that helped me most was when she said that what I was feeling was common and the point at which most people left and returned home. Wow. Although I had no intention of moving, it made perfect sense and gave me a new perspective.
The challenges that come with change are true with any endeavor. The reptilian part of our brains are hard-wired to keep us safe, so we’re bound to question our decisions, and wonder if we’re on the right path when feelings of doubt and insecurity rear their frightening heads. Our ancestors were on alert for their physical safety, and had to fight or flee when their environment was threatened. In modern times, the “old” brain kicks in when it perceives an emotional threat, and can stop us in our tracks.
I still feel lonely and insecure from time to time, however, I remind myself that what I’m feeling is natural; take a breath; reach out for support, when needed; and move on.
Fear is a common occurrence and something we are bound to experience when we stretch our comfort zones and embark on something new. The key is recognizing where the fear is stemming from, and tapping in to our Inner Strength and the wisdom of our guts.
THIS WEEK’S TNT
What change have you been wanting to make, but have been afraid of doing so?
On a scale of “1” to “10,” with “1” Not At All Important and “10” Extremely Important, how important is the change you wish to make?
What’s holding you back?
Notice the feelings that emerge. Are you scared, excited, happy, terrified?
Are the thoughts that you’re thinking true and serving you? Or are they assumptions based on beliefs that are trying to keep you safe?
Take a breath and call on your Inner Wisdom.
What feels right for you to do?
Ask your gut, not your head!
What brings a feeling of deep peace and inner contentment?
Your gut will serve to guide you.
With love, Theresa
Need help changing your thoughts and perceptions?
“Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself” is an empowering tool that may help you make the changes you desire, and create a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life.
Available on Amazon.
If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal. It’s here:
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Author, and Workshop Facilitator with more 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives.
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” What is outrageous is not what you ask for. What is outrageous is what you settle for.” – Alan Cohen
I wrote a blog a few months ago on the power of our words. (Sorry, that one was sent to to email list, and isn’t posted here.) It was inspired by a talk I heard on TEDx by Dr. Carolyne Myss, entitled “Choices That Can Change Your Life.” In her talk, Dr. Myss cited several strategies that I thought were quite empowering. My favorite technique was giving up one word from my vocabulary and never using it again. The word that immediately came to mind was “can’t!”
We often hold ourselves back from our dreams and desires without realizing it. We have our favorite words or strategies that keep us living small and narrow lives, as we fear the worst will happen and settle for what we have rather than taking the risk and going for what we want.
As I contemplated letting go of the word “can’t,” I reflected on how my life would expand as I opened to new adventures, ideas, and opportunities. Interestingly, since I let it go, I’ve become much more aware of when I feel vulnerable (a feeling that the word “can’t” was masking), which allows me to make a conscious choice about what I want to do – one that serves to take care of myself and empowers me – rather than acting on impulse. So…a few week’s ago, excited by the change, I decided to let go of the word “try.” (Remember Yoda? Do or do not. There is no try?) It’s another one of those insidious words that casts a shadow on our gifts, dreams, and abilities. Yes – it’s true – we all have our limits. After all, I’ll likely never be a mathematician or a geologist, but why settle for limits that are self-imposed and that are rooted in our beliefs and history?
This Weeks TNT
Observe your thoughts and words over the next three days.
Make note of the thoughts you think and the words you use most consistently.
Write them down and track how often you use them.
At the end of day three, review your notes.
Are your thoughts and words serving to empower or limit you?
If the latter, what word are you ready and willing to give up?
Let it go for the next month and see what, if any, changes you notice.
Change generally comes by taking small steps that lead to big results.
With love, Theresa
©2018
Need help changing your thoughts and words?
“Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself” is an empowering tool that may help you change your thoughts and perceptions and create a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life.
Available now on Amazon.
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Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Author, and Workshop Facilitator with more 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives.
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“Although it may feel uncomfortable to think about saying no, it’s important to remember that each time you say yes to someone, or something else, you say no to you and your priorities.” – Oprah Winfrey
We want to be kind. We want to be loved. We want to give because it feels good, and we want to be generous with our gifts, talents, abilities and time. But how often do we say “yes” to requests from friends, colleagues, family members, and others, when we know, within our heart of hearts, that it means taking time away from caring for ourselves?
Saying “no” can conjure up feelings of guilt and shame, because we may think it’s self-centered, and be afraid that others may judge us. But people learn how to treat us by how we treat ourselves.
Giving and receiving is an art of balance. But how can we achieve it? Change begins with awareness. Are you aware of how often you say “yes” when you would rather say “no?” The answer may surprise you!
THIS WEEK’S TNT
This week, make not of how many times you say “yes,” when you would rather say “no.”
Keep a record in a small notebook or make a list on your phone.
Notice how you feel when you say “yes” to something you don’t want to do.
Do you feel resentful, angry, frustrated, stressed, or exhausted?
Your body is giving you clues!
At the end of the week, add up the number of entries in your notebook.
Then, make a list of five things you would like to say “no” to.
Start with something small.
You don’t need to explain or justify yourself.
Don’t know what to say?
Here’s a rule of thumb you can follow:
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don’t say it mean.
Learning to say “no” takes practice. But you can learn how to say it.
The more you practice, the easier it will become.
You will feel better, and while some relationships may fall away, others will deepen and grow.
As always, I would love to hear your comments about how this week’s TNT worked for you and what it is you discovered.
With love, Theresa
If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal. It’s here:
Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. Available internationally by Skype and U.S. telephone.
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.
Website: www.reconnecting2you.com
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/
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“Every thought you have makes up some segment of the world you see. It is with your thoughts then, that we must work, if your perception of the world is to be changed.” – A Course In Miracles, Lesson 23
How would your life be different if you changed your thoughts and the words you use?
Whether we know it or not, our words have power and what we give our attention to grows.
I heard a TEDx Talk by Carolyn Myss a while back entitled “Choices That Can Change Your Life.” My biggest take-away was giving away one word from my vocabulary and never using it again. The word that immediately came to mind was “can’t.” I gave it away several months ago, and have rarely used it since.***
We often hold ourselves back from the lives we want without realizing we’re doing it. Our words, and the strategies we use for coping with the world around us, may keep us living smaller than we desire. We may think the worst will happen if we pursue our dreams and goals and settle for what we have rather than embrace what it is we want. Our perceptions are often based on past experiences or conditioning, which has nothing to do with living in the present moment.
Since I’ve given up (or at least reduced!) the word “can’t” from my vernacular, I’ve noticed how my life is expanding and how I’ve become more bold. Like everything, it is a work in progress, as life continues to unfold.
Our words, thoughts, and behaviors are intimately connected. The more conscious we become of what we say and do, the more freedom we have to choose.
Want more love, joy, and abundance in your life? Try out this week’s TNT!
THIS WEEK’S TNT
Pick a day to pay attention to the words you commonly use.
Notice the effect they have on your behavior.
For instance, if you tell yourself you “can’t,” how does it limit you, and what effect does it have on your life?
When you have completed your observation, choose one word to give away for the remainder of the month.
What changes do you notice?
Have fun with it!
Remember, it’s progress not perfection!
As always, I would love to hear your comments about how this week’s TNT worked for you and what it is you discovered.
With love, Theresa
***You can imagine giving your word away to a trusted friend who will take and transform it, or imagine placing it in a pink bubble and releasing it, or whatever else feels right.
If you found this week’s TNT helpful and would like to support my work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal. It’s here:
Are you in transition?
Would you like help addressing an issue you’ve been grappling with?
Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. Available internationally by Skype and U.S. telephone.
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.
Website: www.reconnecting2you.com
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo
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“When you finally accept that it’s okay not to have answers, and it’s okay not to be perfect, you realize that feeling confused is a normal part of what it is to be human.” – Winona Ryder
It’s okay to feel how we feel.
It’s okay if you feel afraid.
It’s okay if you feel lonely.
It’s okay if you feel frustrated.
It’s okay if you feel angry.
It’s okay if you feel resentful.
It’s okay if you feel like things aren’t working out the way you planned.
It’s okay…
When we accept, rather than resist, how we feel, we make room for the feelings to shift, and for peace and balance to follow.
THIS WEEK’S TNT:
When you are feeling upset or tense, notice the sensations in your body.
Do you have a headache?
Are you experiencing pain in your neck, back, or shoulders?
Do your muscles feel tight?
Are you clenching your jaw?
Does your stomach hurt?
Are you experiencing other physical or emotional symptoms?
Take a deep breath and acknowledge your feelings.
It’s the first step on your path to recovery.
Acknowledging your feelings will help you reconnect to yourself, and allow solutions to follow.
As always, I would love to hear your comments about how this week’s TNT worked for you and what it is you discovered.
With love, Theresa
If would you like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal. It’s here:
Are you in transition?
Would you like help addressing an issue you’ve been grappling with?
Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. Available internationally by Skype and U.S. telephone.
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.
Website: www.reconnecting2you.com
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo
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“Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.” – Goethe
The term “bold” still scares the bejesus out of me – or at least the part of me that’s afraid of being eaten by tigers! And…the little kid in me who feels afraid of the unknown and wants to feel protected and safe. But that’s not who I am. The former dates back to prehistoric times and is no longer valid. The later stems from childhood and is the part of me that needs comfort and soothing. If you have similar feelings about the word “bold,” the same may be true for you.
Who we are is often more than we give ourselves permission to live up to. Change involves risk – after all, one never knows the future – or the results of the actions we take. Our primary goal is to follow our inner calling and act with confidence and faith (or act as if we have them!), as we take a breath and begin moving forward.
A question I have found helpful for myself, and often ask clients who are unhappy or dissatisfied with their current life experience is:
“What will you regret not having done when you’re lying on your death bed?”
The answer is readily apparent, when we are open to listening. And when we don’t, we will feel out of balance, and may experience depression and physical symptoms.
For me, it meant letting go of my home in New York, selling my belongings, leaving family and friends, and fulfilling my dream of relocating to Italy; re-establishing close and healthy relationships with my family; and, using my gifts and talents to be of greater service in the world. Goethe’s quote is accurate – my life is expanding and my dreams have, and are, coming true. And yours can, too.
It takes guts to move our dreams into action. But that’s what leads to greater happiness, fulfillment and magic. Are you ready to begin?
THIS WEEK’S TNT
Ask yourself:
“What will I regret not having done at the end of my lifetime?”
Write your answer down and place it where you can easily see it.
Reflect on it daily.
Make a list of what it would take to accomplish.
Create an action plan to realize it.
Take the first step and open to the magic.
You’ll know you’re on track when the energy starts flowing.
If you get stuck, reach out to friends, professionals, and colleagues you know will support you.
As always, I would love to hear your comments.
With love,
Theresa
Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. Available internationally by Skype and U.S. telephone.
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.
Website: www.reconnecting2you.com
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo
Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy
To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
Preamble
I first heard the phrase “Sweet Spot” uttered by my father in relation to the number of strokes he could swim in the Atlantic Ocean. The phrase stuck with me through my childhood and re-emerged several years ago when speaking with a colleague about where in the world to live.
I love closing my eyes and imagining living in my sweet spot, whether it be related to work, a relationship or an adventure I would like to take. Visualizing my sweet spot elicits feelings of love, prosperity and a deep sense of joy and fulfillment.
We all have our personal sweet spots – some that we know of and some yet to be discovered.
Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Living In Your Sweet Spot
“Life is too short to waste time in the wrong place.” – Joel Osteen
Are you in a job, a relationship, or other situation that drains you? Do you wake in the morning dreading the day? Do you settle for less because you’re afraid of stepping out of your comfort zone and taking a risk that jeopardizes the life you’re accustomed to? Or are you tired of the same old, same old, and ready to try something new?
The status quo provides a measure of safety, but it comes at a definite cost.
When I was in my early 20’s, I was in a dysfunctional marriage and was afraid to leave, because I wasn’t sure I would be able to support my son and I. Looking back, it’s clear to see that when I was ready to take a leap of faith, and file the papers, the universe was there to catch me. I have experienced this phenomenon repeatedly. Most recently when I left New York and began a new life in Trieste. Although your intentions may be different than mine the same can happen for you.
Change can be both exhilarating and scary. It opens new doors, provides new opportunities, and helps us flourish and grow. However, when fear or doubt set in, we may unconsciously sabotage ourselves by thinking the worst, rather than the best, case scenario.
In his book, “Hardwiring Happiness,” Rick Hanson, Ph.D. writes the following:
“…in general, the default setting of the brain is to overestimate threats, underestimate opportunities, and underestimate resources, both for coping with threats and for fulfilling opportunities. Then we update these beliefs with information that confirms them, while ignoring or rejecting information that doesn’t.”
I find Dr. Hanson’s research empowering.
Making a major change can present challenges and leave us feeling vulnerable. However, challenges also come with breakthroughs. For instance, I am in the process of making new friends and speak little Italian. I recently told a few acquaintances that I had been feeling lonely and asked if they would like to get together for dinner or an aperativo. Voila! The next day, I was invited to go sailing! (Hence, the delayed Tip ‘N Tool!)
Being vulnerable may feel uncomfortable, but it can lead to greater happiness and fulfillment.
THIS WEEK’S TNT
What change would you like to make in your life?
Write down your vision in detail.
Then close your eyes and imagine it has already happened.
Let the good feelings sink in for 10-20 seconds.
Repeat as necessary.
It will change your vibrational chemistry and open new doors and opportunities.
When you find yourself doubting the possibility, remind yourself that it’s only a belief and connect with people who support you.
As always, I would love to hear your comments.
With love,
Theresa
Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. Available internationally by Skype and U.S. telephone.
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.
Website: www.reconnecting2you.com
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo
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“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” – Jimmy Dean
Change can be scary, and fear of the unknown can keep us stuck in our tracks. To the outside world we may appear to be happy and comfortable. But are we?
As you many of you know, I made a major change in my life earlier this year when I relocated to Trieste, Italy. Sure, I had fear, anxiety and doubts. Who wouldn’t? After all, I was moving away from friends and family and creating a total life overhaul. It took two years to get here, but one day, one step at a time, I made it. And so can you. Your dreams may be different than mine – perhaps you would like to learn a new skill, take an art or dance class, change jobs, begin or end a relationship or pursue any number of goals that you have put on the back burner.
Our brains are hardwired to think the worst. It’s a survival mechanism inherited from our ancestors and designed to keep us alive when lions, tigers and dinosaurs threatened our very existence. Despite the news, which focuses on sensationalism and negativity, statistics show that the world is safer today than it was in the past, yet we are conditioned to think the opposite.***
So what to do? And how do you adjust your sails to reach your desired destination when fear is keeping you anchored to your comfort zone? Is the change you would like to make really as threatening as it seems? To whom or what are you listening to? The ancient part of your brain or your inner wisdom, which is always for your greater good and happiness?
THIS WEEK’S TNT
Set aside some quiet time. Have paper and pen handy. Take a few deep breaths and answer the following questions:
What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to do, but were afraid of doing?
What’s the worst that could happen if you do it?
What’s holding you back?
Are the obstacles that are holding you back real, or thoughts you’ve come to believe are true?
What’s one thing you can do to move forward?
Are you ready to do it?
What’s one action you can take this week to pursue it?
As always, I would love to hear your comments.
With love, Theresa
***Check out Steven Pinker’s research online or read his book, “The Better Angels of Our Nature” to learn more about his findings.
Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Available internationally by Skype and telephone.
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.
Website: www.reconnecting2you.com
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo
Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy
To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
“Some pain is simply the normal pain of human existence. That is the pain I try to make room for. I honor my grief.” – Marianne Williamson
During times of loss – whether it be loss through the transition of someone we cared for and loved, loss of a job, a relationship, a financial downturn, or other situation, we are often told to move on before we are ready; to suck it up and lick our wounds. And if we don’t, we may lose friends or be told we’re too sensitive. But grief has a life of its own.
It’s easy to distract ourselves with work, food, television, or other activities, and; there may be times we need to step away and give ourselves a break. But denying our feelings and suppressing our emotions doesn’t make grief go away.
The five stages of grief, identified by Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, include:
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
However, we do not move through them in a linear fashion, and they may arise when we least expect them. For instance, I recall walking into a supermarket several months after my mother died. I had been feeling fine, but broke into tears when I entered the store. I have no idea what brought it on, as I was living 3,000 miles away. I stopped and let the tears flow. A few minutes later the emotions passed and I continued to shop.
It’s being present with the process that allows us to heal.
I recall Stephen Levine, one of my dearest teachers, saying that even missing a phone call elicits a momentary experience of grief.
Today’s TNT:
If you’re experiencing loss, allow yourself to honor your grief.
Share your experience with a trusted friend.
Sit with your feelings.
Journal.
Join a grief support group
Trust your process.
Take the time you need.
As always, I would love to hear your comments.
With love, Theresa
Do you have a dream or goal you would like to realize? Or would like support with a personal issue? Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation.
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.
Website: www.reconnecting2you.com
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo
Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy
To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
“Keep a happy heart.” – Joel Osteen
I was laying on the beach today in the heat of the afternoon sun in Sistiana – a lovely one hour and twenty minute boat ride from Trieste. It’s become one of my favorite places to soak in the rays (with sunscreen, of course!), relax, and bask in the beauty of the sea and the Carso.
I brought The New Earth, one of Eckhart Tolle’s books with me, and was having a grand old time relaxing and reading, with occasional breaks to take a dip and view the sea. A young man came by selling hats and asked if I wanted to buy one. He was an immigrant from Africa, whom I later learned was from Senegal. I passed on his offer the first time around – I didn’t feel a need and thought I could do better in town. About a half-hour later, as the sun progressed, I was having trouble keeping the glare out of my eyes while reading and wished he’d return. A few minutes later, he walked by, and like magic, asked if I wanted a hat! “Quanto costa?,” I asked. “Dieci euro,” he replied. Much more than I’m sure it was worth. “Okay,” I said. I chose a hat with flowered print and paid him. As he prepared to leave, I wished him a good day. He seemed a bit stunned, then gathered himself, gave me a big smile, and said “anche’te.”
Our short interaction was a blessing for both us. I felt grateful for our exchange.
Today’s TNT:
Keep an eye out for the blessings in your life. They may come in unexpected ways.
As always, I would love to hear your comments.
With love, Theresa
Feeling stuck? Or ready for a change and would like support? I would love to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation.
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.
Website: www.reconnecting2you.com
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo
Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy
To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page.
“Do you truly know what is positive and what is negative? Do you have the total picture?
There have been many people for whom limitation, failure, loss, illness or pain, in whatever form, turned out to be their greatest teacher.” – Eckhart Tolle
I often heard inmates at the Washington State Reformatory tell me, when I was facilitating a monthly self-help group at the prison, that being incarcerated helped them turn their lives around. It deeply touched my heart. Many of them were so creative: artists, poets, songwriters, healers. It made me reflect on how, underneath our choices, behaviors, and attitudes, lies something beautiful and sacred within each of us. We may simply lose sight of it and need a catalyst to reconnect us to the Truth of who we are.
The Reformatory, located in Monroe, WA, is a maximum security facility. Most of the men who attended my groups, or whom I met at my colleagues programs, had been doing time for 10 to 20 years, if not more. Yet, they were experiencing a degree of freedom they hadn’t known when living on the outside. What it showed me was that…
Sometimes, what appears to be a failure or challenge is an opportunity in disguise.
Are you struggling with a situation or challenge that is causing pain or grief? Try looking beyond the obvious.
Sit quietly and ask yourself:
“What opportunities are available to me now?”
“What is Life wanting to tell me?”
“How am I needing to grow?”
Write the questions in your journal and let the answers flow.
As always, I would love to hear your comments.
With love, Theresa
Feeling stuck? Or ready for a change and would like support? I would love to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation.
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.
Website: www.reconnecting2you.com
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo
Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy
To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page
Finding your destiny is the ultimate solution in life, because when you’re living as your soul, you experience unity and subsequent problems and planning for the future disappear. – Penney Peirce
I love Penny’s quote.
Finding your destiny doesn’t have to be difficult. Nor does it have to be grandiose. It can be as simple as calling someone you’ve been thinking of, which leads to a new connection or information you’ve been looking for; or feeling inspired to begin or complete a project you’ve put on hold, which builds your confidence and culminates in your success; or heeding the impulse to take a new route home, which results in finding the house you’ve been searching for.
While situations like those cited above, may seem insignificant at the time, each of them provides us with possibilities and blessings that allow our destinies to unfold.
When we follow the soul’s longing, we are led to the next right action, and our lives begin to flow.
This Week’s Tip:
As yourself: “What wants to happen next?” When the answer aligns with your soul’s purpose, you will feel a sense of openness and peace, and if even for a moment, any resistance you’ve been experiencing will cease.
If you would like help discovering your next step, it would be my pleasure to speak with you.
Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a 30-minute Complimentary Coaching Consultation to ask questions, try coaching out and learn how coaching can help you.
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.
Website: www.reconnecting2you.com
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo
Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy
To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page
Preamble
Do you lie awake at night worrying about the day ahead and what’s in store for your future? Living with uncertainty can be frightening and cause undue stress and health issues. This weeks TNT will help you to identify three underlying source of stress and solutions to resolve them.
Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool): 3 Sources of Stress and How To Resolve Them
“Every change in the physiological state is accompanied by an appropriate change in the mental-emotional state, conscious or unconscious, and conversely, every change in the mental-emotional state, conscious or unconscious, is accompanied by an appropriate change in the physiological state.” – Elmer Green
Stress comes in two flavors: Eustress, or positive stress, is short term, improves our focus and performance, and brings a sense of joy and fulfillment. It may result from starting a new project or job, taking a long desired trip, or fulfilling a dream or goal. On the other hand, Distress, or negative stress, can be short or long term, stems from fear or worry, can cause insomnia, and lead to anxiety, as well as mental and physical problems.
The following strategies will help you to recognize three sources of stress and solutions to resolve them:
STRESSOR #1: MENTAL CHATTER
Mental chatter, also known as “The Monkey Mind” occurs when our minds are busy and our thoughts are swinging from one idea to another, without intention or focus. Authorities estimate that we have between 60,000 and 80,000 thoughts per day, and that most of them are repetitive. Research has shown that what we think about has a direct correlation on our mental, emotional and physical health.
SOLUTION:
Take five-minutes at the start of the day to focus and quiet the mind. Examples include guided meditation, breathing exercises, or practices such as Tai Chi, yoga or prayer. As you begin to feel more peaceful, your body and emotions will benefit, your relationships will improve, and your day will go better, as well.
STRESSOR #2: BELIEFS
Our beliefs are thoughts that have taken root in our consciousness and that may, or may not, be true. They are generally based on past experience and may have little to do with our present situation.
One way to identify a belief is by assessing if what we believe is either “always” or “never” true. Examples of beliefs include “Planes always crash,” “No one hires someone my age,” and “She always complains.”
Our beliefs effect our actions and the outcomes we receive. As a result, we may talk ourselves out of the goals and dreams we desire to achieve.
SOLUTION:
Start by questioning your beliefs and assessing their validity. Ask yourself if the belief you are examining is always or never true, is an assumption, or based on past experience.
If your beliefs are holding you back, check them out by gathering information and seeking advice and support. For instance, if your dream is to travel, and you are afraid of flying, or going alone, check out the statistics for air travel or talk with people who have traveled solo.
STRESSOR #3: GUILT
If you feel uncomfortable being happy when others are suffering, or think you shouldn’t be wealthy because others aren’t, you may be suffering from the obstacle of guilt. Denying ourselves the Good we desires keep us stuck and does nothing to serve those we worry or are concerned about.
SOLUTION:
Trust that we are each on our own journey, here to heal and grow. Learn to be channel of love, by spreading love everywhere you go. Tune in to your heart, and seek the answer for how to share your greatest treasure. Giving love may come in the form of a smile, lending a helping hand to someone in need, or may be a financial or other gift. One thing is certain, you will feel a sense of joy and fulfillment, as you give from a place of abundance, knowing all is well. Both you and the receiver will enjoy the blessing.
As always, I would love to hear your comments.
If you know someone who would find this post helpful, please share.
Would you like to experience greater joy and balance in your life? Or have a goal you desire to achieve?
Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a 30-minute Complimentary Coaching Consultation. It would be a pleasure to speak with you.
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.
To schedule a 30-minute Complimentary Coaching Consultation to learn how you, too, can improve your health and accomplish your desires, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com
Website: www.reconnecting2you.com
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
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Dear Friends,
Regardless of where we are in our lives, we’re likely to experience times of stress and need some gentle reminders to let go of our angst and re center ourselves.
I created a lovely affirmation as a handout for participants in my stress management workshops. It’s short and sweet and hope you’ll find it helpful.
1. Begin by taking a couple of breaths, letting go of of any tension, as you bring yourself into the present moment.
2. When you’re ready, take another breath and as you inhale silently repeat the affirmation, “I Am a Center of Peace.” Feel yourself relax as you breathe out any stress or painful sensations.
3. Continue breathing, silently repeating the affirmation as you let go of any remaining tension. Notice the sense of peace that fills your body, as you feel the sensation to expand from head to toe.
4. Repeat the process until you feel peaceful and relaxed.
5. When you’re ready, take a cleansing breath, and return to the room, refreshed.
As an added benfit, you might like to print the photo below*** and hang it where you can see it, as reminder to stop and take a breath.
And for those of you living in the U.S., wishing you a fun and wonderful holiday weekend!
With love,
Theresa
If you know someone who would find this post helpful, please share.
Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a 30-minute complimentary coaching consultation to discuss your goals and dreams and how I might assist you in realizing them.
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams, and create healthier, happier, more fulfilling lives. To learn more, visit Theresa’s website or email her at Theresa@reconnecting2you.com
Website: www.reconnecting2you.com
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo
Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy
To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page
reconnecting2you 