Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

Reducing Holiday Stress: Say “No” to Get to “Yes,” Plus 2 Days Left   Leave a comment

Dear Friends,

Do you find it easy to say “Yes,” to others’ requests, but hard to say “Yes” to yourself?

Do you have a vision or intention for how to spend your holidays, but get hijacked by requests that you have a hard time saying “No” to?

The holidays can be a time of joy and cheer, as well as elicit feelings of stress and pressure.

While we may enjoy all that the holidays offer as we attend parties and other events; decorate our homes; shop for special gifts; visit friends and travel to see relatives and; make our favorite holiday recipes, among other festivities, we can also feel stretched and experience a strain on our time, energy, and financial reserves.

We may rationalize our decision to forgo our own needs, because we don’t want to offend our friends and family members, or risk disapproval from those we love or value.

But saying “No” provides an opportunity for others to grow, and care for themselves, and respect your personal needs.

Here are seven tips, and related questions, to help you gain clarity and take care of yourself this holiday season:

1. Take Inventory

– When are you saying “Yes” when you would rather say “No?”

– Are there particular circumstances or people who present a challenge?

2.  Be Mindful

– How does it feel in your body when you say “Yes” instead of “No?”

– Pay attention to stress and tension.

3.  Is what you fear will happen really true?

– How do you know?

– Is what you’re afraid of happening absolutely true?

– Regardless of what has happened in the past, this is a new moment.

– How can you take care of yourself if what you’re afraid of actually happens?

4.  What is saying “Yes” costing you?

– Are you tired and forfeiting rest?

– Do you have the financial resources to travel or buy expensive presents?

– Do you want to attend the events you’ve been invited to, or go out of obligation and later feel angry or resentful?

– What other costs might there be?

5.  Are you willing to pay the price?

– If you’re answer is “Yes,” do so with awareness. What will the payoffs be?

– If your answer is “No,” what could you do instead” (See #6 below)

6.  Saying “No” takes practice

– If you’re feeling nervous about expressing yourself, you may find it helpful to write down what it is you want to say.

– Then practice with a friend, a coach, or even in the mirror!

7.  Moving Forward

– What qualities do you need to grow inside yourself in order to feel comfortable setting healthy boundaries?

– Reflect on a time you were presented with a challenge and took care of yourself by setting a healthy boundary.

– Notice how the positive sensations feel in your body, and let the feelings flow through you.

– You can also think about how you felt – perhaps you felt a sense of confidence, or felt secure or empowered.

– Let the good feelings soak in as you stay with the experience for five to 20 seconds.

As always, I would love to hear from you.

With love,

Theresa

If you found today’s post helpful, please comment and share.

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Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator, and author with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams, and create healthier, happier, more fulfilling lives.  

 

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Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) We Are Beacons of Light   Leave a comment

“Shine your light and make a positive impact on the world; there is nothing so honorable as helping improve the lives of others.” – Roy T. Bennett

I am reading the book “The Power of You,” by Chris Michaels. I have just finished the first chapter. The book is about our relationship with the Divine – the spiritual Presence we know by many names: God, Spirit, Creator. What we call “It” doesn’t matter.

We are all Divinely connected. Individual and unique expressions of Life; each with our own gifts and talents, and capacities for loving and giving. This is how we can truly change the world – by following our bliss; our dreams; our goals; and knowing there is a Divine Presence that wants the best for us. We are Its channels.

We add value to the world, and make a difference in the lives of others, by the simple things we do.

I recently sent a small amount of money to an elderly relative who is living on social security, and a small amount of food stamps. It’s something I learned from my father, who always impressed me with his generosity and I now follow in his footsteps, when I feel called and inspired to do so. Not from obligation, but from a place of loving presence.

We are beacons of light. We have the power to love, to heal, to care for and to bless one another, through our words, our actions, and the very essence of who we are.

I received a message from my relative the other day thanking me, and letting know that my contribution made a significant difference to her sense of security and well-being. It was a small gift, but it meant the world to her.

Our acts of kindness don’t have to be financial – they can be whatever we feel guided and inspired to do, moment by moment. And in doing so, we lift the lives of others, and ourselves, and increase the vibrations of love and well-being on our planet.

THIS WEEK’S TNT

What’s one act of kindness you can do today to make a difference in someone’s life?

It can be an act of kindness to someone you know or to a perfect stranger.

Notice how good it feels to contribute to another’s sense of well-being.

Not from obligation, or winning favor, but from a spirit of love and generosity.

And what we give will come back to us in ways we may never fathom. Like a sacred circle.

Try it for a day, a week, a month, a lifetime.

Little by little, our acts of kindness can, and do, make a difference.

It’s all a matter of practice.

If you like, try using the following affirmation from Chapter 11 of

ALPHABET AFFIRMATIONS: TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE AND LOVE YOURSELF

“MY HEART IS OPEN WIDE. I SPREAD KINDNESS EVERYWHERE I GO.

Then let your heart fill with love, and like a soothing balm flowing through you, let the good feelings fill your body.

As always, I would love to hear your comments, and how this week’s TNT works for you.

With love,

Theresa

“Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself” is an empowering process that can help you change your thoughts and create greater health, happiness, and fulfillment.

AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.

Alpha V2

PURCHASE YOUR COPY HERE

Don’t have a Kindle? No worries! Download the free app and read on your Smartphone, computer or tablet.

Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing Practitioner, Author, and Workshop Leader with more than 25 years’ experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams, and create greater health, happiness and fulfillment. She is trained in positive psychology, neuroscience, practical spirituality, among other modalities.

Connect with me on:

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/

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Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Walk With Me   Leave a comment

“People deal too much with the negative, with what is wrong. Why not try to see the positive things, to touch just those things and make them bloom?” – Thich Nhat Hanh

Such a savoury thought.

I recently returned from a 7-week trip to the U.S., where I had the great pleasure of spending time with family and friends. More than a year had gone by; way too long. I established a deeper relationship with my son, who I miss and dearly love; visited my 93 year-old aunt in New Jersey; had a wonderful time hiking, cooking, talking and reconnecting with friends; soaked in the natural beauty of the Pacific Northwest; and toddled around my own stomping grounds in New York City. What a glorious trip it was!

Over the last week, I’ve slowly (or maybe not SO slowly!) have been getting back into the swing of things in my current home in Trieste, Italy.  Several days ago I organized an event for my Women’s Spiritual Support and Empowerment MeetUp Group and went to see Walk With Me, a movie about Zen Meditation and Mindfulness teacher, Thich Nhat Hanh, and his monastery in France. It was such a wonderful reminder of how we can resource ourselves with peace, safety and connection, when living in the midst of a storm, whether it be personal, relational, political, or global.

I participated in two of Nhat Hanh’s programs when I lived in New York – an evening program at The Beacon Theater and a day-long retreat at the Blue Cliff Monastery in Upstate New York. A gentle and beautiful soul, he is one of my favorite teachers, and I find even listening to his voice brings a sense of peace and calmness.

Although I attended two of his live events, I learned the “half-smile meditation while reading Being Peace (at least I think that’s the book!); one of Thich Nhat Hanh’s many publications. The practice is simple, yet profound; only takes a few minutes to do; and fits in perfectly with positive neuroplasticity – the process of rewiring the brain for happiness, which I have a great pleasure of studying with Dr. Rick Hanson.

Give the half-smile a try and see how it works for you!

THIS WEEKS TNT – THE HALF-SMILE

If you’re feeling low, anxious or want to experience greater peace, love or joy in your your life , close your eyes and take a breath.

Then, let your lips curl into a half-smile, as you exhale.

Notice the sensations in your body.

Let whatever sensations you may experience fill you.

Stay with the good feelings for five to ten seconds.

Then, enjoy the moment.

Should you try it, I would love to know how the half-smile works for you.

Alpha V2

Need help transforming your thoughts and words into those that support and inspire you?

Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself is a fun and empowering process that will help you transform your thoughts into ones the lift, nurture and support you, whether you’re dealing with relationships, financial, confidence, or other issues. There’s an affirmation waiting to reveal itself to you!

Available on Amazon

Don’t have a Kindle? Download the free Kindle App on your cell phone, computer or  tablet.  Carry your favorite affirmations wherever you are.

FIND YOUR COPY ON AMAZON

HERE’S WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING:

“Theresa’s book and techniques will help guide you on your path to transformation. When you create a life you love and are grateful for your life, mind, body and spirit receive the love message and all benefit.”   Bernie Siegel, M.D., Author of 365 Prescriptions For The Soul 

“A beautiful and simple concept – as easy as ABC! This sweet book offers a creative way to counter the leanings of the mind and provides exercises to stay buoyant and positive — and it offers a section to add even more affirmations to the mix! How cool is that? A great book to have on hand as a reminder that every moment is a new moment and it “affirms” that one can transform their thoughts and their lives in a quick minute. My favorite letter is Q!” – S.G.

PURCHASE YOUR COPY HERE

If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal.  It’s here:

 

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Practice Kindness   Leave a comment

“Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.” – Desmond Tutu

I took a bus ride to Aurisina a few days ago – a small town about 15 km from Trieste, in the karst part of the commune of Duino-Aurisina, where I often hike along the Rilke Trail – as I had an appointment for a medical exam.

I noticed a woman, somewhere in her 50’s or 60’s, I would guess, who had gotten up from her seat several rows behind me to stand by the door at the front of the bus, although I didn’t know why. I settled in for the 45-minute bus ride, activated the Duolingo Italian program in my cell phone to keep myself occupied, and looked up along the way to take in the lovely view of the Gulf of Trieste as we progressed up the hill toward my destination.

I lost track of the woman standing at the front of the bus, until we both got off in Aurisina. As this was my first time there, I wasn’t sure where to go, and was scoping out the area. The woman from the bus saw me looking around and came over to direct me. Although she didn’t speak English (and I little Italian), we found a way to communicate, and I followed her, as we were both going in the same direction.

Although she was called before me, I finished my exam first, and walked outside to catch the bus to Duino, where I planned to stop for a coffee and walk the Rilke Trail, as it was such a beautiful day.  I missed the bus by seconds, and was waiting for the next one, when the nice lady who helped me appeared and crossed the street to catch the bus that was heading back to Trieste. Her bus approached, but it pulled out before she got on, as she stopped to ask me if I was coming! Our eyes met, and we each shrugged our shoulders in recognition of what had just happened, then she came over to my side of the street and decided to ride with me to Duino! We laughed and talked as best we could, and enjoyed the 20-minute ride. I found out she also likes walking, as she asked me if I would like to get together to go hiking sometime. We exchanged phone numbers, and I heard from her this morning.

We never know when and how connections will be made or what their purpose is. The people we meet along the way provide us with whatever we need at the moment, we do the same for them. It’s one of Life’s gifts and blessings.

THIS WEEK’S TNT

Be open to opportunities to connect with the people around you.

You may not know what gifts they bring or those you’re there to share.

If you like, experiment with using the following affirmation from Chapter 11 from “Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself:”

“My heart is open wide. I spread Kindness everywhere I go.”

Soak in the good feelings as you think of  a time you experienced someone’s kindness or a time when you were kind.

Let the feelings fill your body for two or more breaths.  And notice how your energy shifts.

Then be open to the possibilities Life provides you to connect with those around you.

With love, Theresa

“ALPHABET AFFIRMATIONS: TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE AND LOVE YOURSELF” IS AN EASY TO USE E-BOOK, AND EMPOWERING PROCESS, THAT CAN HELP YOU REVAMP YOUR MINDSET AND LIVE THE LIFE THAT YOU DESIRE.

HERE’S WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING:

“Theresa’s book and techniques will help guide you on your path to transformation. When you create a life you love and are grateful for your life, mind, body and spirit receive the love message and all benefit.”   Bernie Siegel, M.D., Author of 365 Prescriptions For The Soul 

“A beautiful and simple concept – as easy as ABC! This sweet book offers a creative way to counter the leanings of the mind and provides exercises to stay buoyant and positive — and it offers a section to add even more affirmations to the mix! How cool is that? A great book to have on hand as a reminder that every moment is a new moment and it “affirms” that one can transform their thoughts and their lives in a quick minute. My favorite letter is Q!” – S.G.

AVAILABLE ON AMAZON

https://goo.gl/DSEpCY

If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal.  It’s here:
 paypal.me/Reconnecting2You
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Author, and Workshop Facilitator with more 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives.

Read the rest of this entry »

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Grace, Plus Special Announcments   Leave a comment

“I do not understand the mystery of Grace – only that it meets us where we are, but does not leave us where it found us.” – Anne Lamott

I recently had the opportunity to support a friend who is struggling with uncertainty and change, something I’m sure most, if not all of us can relate to, especially in these turbulent times.

Yet, by whatever name we call it: Grace, The Universe, Energy, God, Love, Source, or something else, there is a power for good at work in our lives, but it’s up to us to quiet our minds and connect to it.

I felt a deep sense of compassion as I listened to my friend talk about the lack of direction she has been feeling about where to move, as she can no longer stay where she is living. I woke the following morning inspired to share a prayer from A Course in Miracles (ACIM):

God, show me where you would have me go,

What you would have me do,

What you would have me say,

And to whom.

My friend and I continued to email and kept our conversation going. I was later inspired to send her an entry from my e-book, “Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself,” which seemed to deeply touch her. It comes from the letter “D.”

“I am Divinely guided and make Decisions that Delight me!”

My friend wrote back thanking me, and told me she was almost crying as she read the affirmation, and shared that clarity seemed a very distant and vague idea. She was comforted by my words.

Grace comes in many forms. An inspiring word, a hand extended from a friend, an unexpected gift or blessing.

It’s easy for the mind to focus on what’s wrong and not see the the miracles that are unfolding right before us.  A few days ago a friend told me had coats she is no longer using and asked me if I wanted them. She knew the zipper on my jacket had broken and I hadn’t yet found a replacement. We met for coffee a few days later and she brought the two coats with her. They are exactly what I had been looking for and appear to be brand new.  I so appreciated her kind and generous gesture.

As Jean Houston likes to say, “What we appreciate, appreciates.” As we reflect on the good in our lives, it opens up the channels for Life’s grace and blessings to flow to us.

THIS WEEK’S TNT

Notice where you are feeling stuck or experiencing a lack of clarity or direction.

Then, for the next week, take note of the good things occurring in your life.

Start your day by expecting something wonderful!

You might like to practice standing with eyes closed and arms outstretched, while repeating the following affirmation:

“I am now open to receive all of Life’s blessings.”

Then see what happens!

The blessings will likely come in unexpected ways.

Take time to reflect on them and soak in the good feelings,

And open to Life’s ever-present Grace.

With love,

Theresa

NEED HELP CHANGING YOUR THOUGHTS AND PERCEPTIONS?

“ALPHABET AFFIRMATIONS: TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE AND LOVE YOURSELF’ IS AN EASY TO USE AND EMPOWERING PROCESS THAT CAN HELP YOU REVAMP YOUR MINDSET AND LIVE THE LIFE THAT YOU DESIRE.

AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.

If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal.  It’s here:
 paypal.me/Reconnecting2You
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Author, and Workshop Facilitator with more 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives.

Read the rest of this entry »

Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Trust Your Gut   Leave a comment

“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you’re heading.” – Lao Tzu

Change can be both exhilarating and scary. Whether we wish to change careers, sell or purchase a home, move to a new city or country, begin or end a relationship, or do anything that’s new, the future is unknown and can prompt feelings of fear and insecurity.

A few months ago, I had a chat with an American woman who has been living in Trieste for 15 years or so. She works for an American support organization, and has watched people who have relocated from abroad come and go. I had been feeling a bit lonely the day I saw her, and was longing for connections on a deeper, more personal level. She said I was at a crisis point, wondering if I would ever learn the language, make closer friends, establish a clientele, learn the subtleties between cultures, etc. I felt like she was a mindreader and was inside of my head! The thing that helped me most was when she said that what I was feeling was common and the point at which most people left and returned home. Wow. Although I had no intention of moving,  it made perfect sense and gave me a new perspective.

The challenges that come with change are true with any endeavor. The reptilian part of our brains are hard-wired to keep us safe, so we’re bound to question our decisions, and wonder if we’re on the right path when feelings of doubt and insecurity rear their frightening heads. Our ancestors were on alert for their physical safety, and had to fight or flee when their environment was threatened.  In modern times, the “old” brain kicks in when it perceives an emotional threat, and can stop us in our tracks.

I still feel lonely and insecure from time to time, however, I remind myself that what I’m feeling is natural; take a breath; reach out for support, when needed; and move on.

Fear is a common occurrence and something we are bound to experience when we stretch our comfort zones and embark on something new. The key is recognizing where the fear is stemming from, and tapping in to our Inner Strength and the wisdom of our guts.

THIS WEEK’S TNT

What change have you been wanting to make, but have been afraid of doing so?

On a scale of “1” to “10,” with “1” Not At All Important and “10” Extremely Important, how important is the change you wish to make?

What’s holding you back?

Notice the feelings that emerge. Are you scared, excited, happy, terrified?

Are the thoughts that you’re thinking true and serving you? Or are they assumptions based on beliefs that are trying to keep you safe?

Take a breath and call on your Inner Wisdom.

What feels right for you to do?

Ask your gut, not your head!

What brings a feeling of deep peace and inner contentment?

Your gut will serve to guide you.

With love, Theresa

Need help changing your thoughts and perceptions? 

“Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself” is an empowering  tool that may help you make the changes you desire, and create a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life.

Available on Amazon. 

If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal.  It’s here:
 paypal.me/Reconnecting2You
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Author, and Workshop Facilitator with more 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives.

Read the rest of this entry »

Theresa’s TNT (Tip N’ Tool) The Power of Your Word   Leave a comment

” What is outrageous is not what you ask for. What is outrageous is what you settle for.” – Alan Cohen

I wrote a blog a few months ago on the power of our words. (Sorry, that one was sent to to email list, and isn’t posted here.) It was inspired by a talk I heard on TEDx by Dr. Carolyne Myss, entitled “Choices That Can Change Your Life.” In her talk, Dr. Myss cited several strategies that I thought were quite empowering. My favorite technique was giving up one word from my vocabulary and never using it again. The word that immediately came to mind was “can’t!”

We often hold ourselves back from our dreams and desires without realizing it. We have our favorite words or strategies that keep us living small and narrow lives, as we fear the worst will happen and settle for what we have rather than taking the risk and going for what we want.

As I contemplated letting go of the word “can’t,” I reflected on how my life would expand as I opened to new adventures, ideas, and opportunities. Interestingly, since I let it go, I’ve become much more aware of when I feel vulnerable (a feeling that the word “can’t” was masking), which allows me to make a conscious choice about what I want to do – one that serves to take care of myself and empowers me – rather than acting on impulse. So…a few week’s ago, excited by the change, I decided to let go of the word “try.” (Remember Yoda? Do or do not. There is no try?) It’s another one of those insidious words that casts a shadow on our gifts, dreams, and abilities. Yes – it’s true – we all have our limits. After all, I’ll likely never be a mathematician or a geologist, but why settle for limits that are self-imposed and that are rooted in our beliefs and history?

This Weeks TNT

Observe your thoughts and words over the next three days.

Make note of the thoughts you think and the words you use most consistently.

Write them down and track how often you use them.

At the end of day three, review your notes.

Are your thoughts and words serving to empower or limit you?

If the latter, what word are you ready and willing to give up?

Let it go for the next month and see what, if any, changes you notice.

Change generally comes by taking small steps that lead to big results.

With love, Theresa

©2018

Need help changing your thoughts and words? 

“Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself” is an empowering  tool that may help you change your thoughts and perceptions and create a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life.

Available now on Amazon. 

If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal.  It’s here:
 paypal.me/Reconnecting2You
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Author, and Workshop Facilitator with more 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives.

Read the rest of this entry »

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