Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category
BUILDING FRIENDSHIP
As social creatures, it’s natural to seek out others with whom we can share friendship and community. Although the current landscape makes it challenging, we can still reach out and meet our needs for connection, whether it be online or via telephone.
BUILDING FRIENDSHIP
“WILL YOU BE MY FRIEND IS ONE OF THE BRAVEST THINGS WE CAN EVER SAY.” -Rick Hanson, Ph.D.
We all long for a sense of love and belonging, whether we live in the town we grew up in or have relocated and are living as expats in a foreign country. Inviting someone for coffee or doing something fun requires confidence, courage and vulnerability. But we can do it!
When our request for friendship is met, we open the doors for greater joy and fulfillment. When and if our request for friendship is denied, it may not feel very good, but we can take pride in having tried and move on to asking someone new. As one of my beloved teachers once said: “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway!”
ANECDOTE:
I learned a valuable lesson when I was in my mid-20’s. A friend and I had gone to a bar to listen to music and dance; something we both loved doing. I was shocked when she got up and someone to dance, as it wasn’t customary at the time for a woman to ask a man. She danced the night away while I sat at the table watching.
The next time we went out, I intended to dance and have fun. I mustered my courage and made the. move. The first man I asked turned me down. I realized, in a split second, that if I retreated and went back to my table I’d never take the chance, so I didn’t let it stop me. Without skipping a beat, I looked around, asked another man, and had a wonderful night!
We can’t control the outcomes of our actions, but we can initiate them. If there’s someone you’d like to meet, they might also like meeting you.
FEELY SHY?
TRY USING THE AFFIRMATIONS BELOW WHILE LETTING THE POSITIVE FEELINGS THAT ARISE SOAK DOWN INTO YOUR BODY.
“I am Confident, Capable and Confident. I express myself with ease.” ***
“I surround myself with Friends and Family who love, respect and value me.” ***
“I am safe. I am filled with peace and Harmony.” ***
***TAKEN FROM THE LETTERS “C,” “F” AND “H” OF ALPHABET AFFIRMATIONS: TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE AND LOVE YOURSELF.
PURCHASE YOUR COPY HERE.
DON’T LIVE IN THE US? LOOK FOR IT ON AMAZON IN YOUR HOME COUNTRY.
WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING
“Lovely book! Provides lots of ideas for how to make one’s life more positive by visualizing in a fun way! Highly recommended!”
“Lifts me up. I’m pleased to read one affirmation every morning. These set a positive direction for my work day as well as days of rest and recharging.”
“Simple. Effective. Affirmative. A joyful and positive journey down alphabet lane. Each letter has affirmations that one may reflect on, contemplate and be inspired by. Feeling creative? There is space to insert your own creations. Beautiful concept and execution….”
“Pensieri positivi…ARRIVO! Eh già! Usando questo libro mi sono accorta di quanta resistenza si fa aggiorno d’oggi a vedere, ansi no, a pensare POSITIVO! devo dire GRAZIE GRAZIE e infinitamente GRAZIE all’autrice del libro che con questo semplice esercizio (ma per nulla scontato!) mi ha riportata a vedere le cose diversamente.”
“Positivity. The right tips to focus on positivity and learn a new attitude. A short book that you can use to improve yourself.”
“Finally – the paperback. What an inspiring little book. Something for the bedside table.”
AVAILABLE IN PAPERBACK AND ON KINDLE
CHOOSE THE VERSION THAT WORKS BEST FOR YOU.
BIO
I was born and raised in New York. I am a Certified Life Coach, Energy Healing Practitioner, Workshop Leader and Author with more than 25 years’ experience. My books include Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself and I Am the Treasure – a little book of inspirational poetry.
If you’d like help managing your stress and developing inner resources, like confidence, courage and resilience, so you can life with greater ease, realize your goals and dreams and better meet life’s challenges, I’d love to hear from you.
Email me at Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a complimentary consultation to get acquainted, discuss your goals and dreams, and see how we might work together.
PLEASE NOTE: You can also find my blogs under Expert Advice on InTrieste.com, a local online magazine where you’ll find interesting articles, photos, and more about Trieste, Italy, the beautiful city in northern Italy where I live.
If you find today’s post helpful, please leave your comments below or on my blog at InTrieste.com.
Thank you!
“Our internal dialogue plays a vital role in shaping our perceptions of reality.” – Deepak Chopra
Communication entails more than the words we speak. It includes our thoughts, our body language, our perceptions, our ability to truly hear what someone is saying – without judgement – and for those of us whose cultures value it – eye contact.
When we think about communicating, we generally think about speaking with others, and forget that we are constantly communicating with ourselves. Our beliefs, attitudes, and the way we think about, and talk to ourselves, effects all aspects of our lives, including our self-esteem, our relationships, our work, and our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual well-being.
Experts estimate that we have between 60,000-80,000 thoughts a day. Out of those, approximately 80% are negative, and 95% are repetitive – meaning we think the same thoughts every day and, in do so, reinforce the neural pathways in the brain. (The phrase “neurons that fire together wire together” was coined by neuropsychologist Donald Hebb in 1949 to describe how pathways in the brain are formed and strengthened through repetition.)
And for those of us who worry a lot, Dr. Robert Leahy, Clinical Professor of Psychology and Psychiatry at Weill Cornell University in New York, tells us that people who worry excessively spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about things that either will never happen, or that they’ll handle well if they do come about. Dr. Leahy goes on to say that one study found that 85% of the things that people worry about had positive – or at least neutral outcomes. (Leahy R. June 2013. Worry No More. URL cognitivetherapnyc.com/bottomh.pdf.)
So, how can we retrain the brain so we can perceive reality more clearly?
The Path of a Buddha: Right Speech
“All that I am is the result of all that I have thought.” – The Buddha
Neuroscience tells us that the brain is geared toward negativity, based on our ancestors’ needs for survival. For instance, the likelihood of being attacked by an opposing tribe, or wild animals on the hunt for food, were real dangers and required our ancestors’ hypervigilance to ensure they and their tribes survived.
Most of us living in today’s world are fortunate: we have shelter, food, clothing, and access to medical care, and no longer need to be as vigilant. And yes, of course, there are exceptions. The point here, is that we often over focus on the negative and reinforce the negativity bias in our minds, recycling the negative messages we give ourselves. The good news is, regardless of life’s circumstances, we can find things that are enjoyable and help our brains learn from the positive.
There are many ways to do this: stopping to savor your morning cup of coffee or tea, noticing a beautiful sunset, the joy of watching your children play, or feeling content when you finish the dishes. As we begin to notice the good facts in our lives, we can move into a more peaceful and empowered state of being, as we grow resources within ourselves for safety, satisfaction and connection.
Another process I find helpful is using and creating affirmations. However, just saying them has no lasting effect on the nervous system – we must embody the feelings that arise as we say them. This is essential in helping the brain lean in the direction of the positive.
What is an Affirmation?
For our purposes, an affirmation is a short, powerful statement, made in the present tense, using positive language.
***Here are a few examples***
“I Appreciate life and Always find things that please me.”
(As you say the affirmation, imagine someone or something you appreciate – a friend, a loved one, an animal, or something enjoyable, like a hot shower, the comfort of your bed, the warmth of your home, or your morning cup of coffee. Notice the feelings and sensations that arise as you think about or watch the scene unfolding. Let it grow bigger, and stay with the sensations for 5 to 10 seconds, or longer, letting them sink in to your body.)
“I Enjoy my life and Engage in activities that Excite me.”
(Imagine something you enjoy doing – either currently or in the past. Then as in the example above, notice the feelings and sensations as you think about, or watch, the scene unfolding, letting it grow bigger. Then, let the good feelings soak down in to your body, like water soaking in to a sponge. As in the example above, stay with the sensations for 5-10 seconds, or longer.)
Note: You can use the same process to imagine enjoying something you would like to do, but haven’t yet done. The experience will still register, as the neurons in your brain are firing.)
“I surround myself with Friends and Family who love, respect and value me.”
(Use the same process as outlined in the examples above. If the affirmation doesn’t ring true for you, imagine what it would feel like to have friends and/or family who love, support and value you. Then continue with the process. You can employ the same method in other situations.)
Regardless of which process you use, it’s important to stay with the good feelings for several breaths or seconds to give your nervous system the opportunity to learn from the positive experience.
Experiment and see what works best for you.
***Excperted from Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself by Theresa Conti.***
Additional resources:
Hanson, R., Ph.D. Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm and Confidence. 2006. Harmony Books.
Leahy R., Ph.D. Worry No More: Five Simple Steps to End Those Troubling Thoughts and Fears. 2013.
“ALPHABET AFFIRMATIONS: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself,” was created out of a nightly gratitude practice , using the letters of the alphabet to help me get back to sleep in times of stress. I rarely made it to “z!”
One night, when feeling a little blue, I shifted my focus and used the letters of the alphabet to relax and comfort myself. I felt deeply cared for and nourished and sank into a deep and restful sleep.
Each letter contains three affirmations, followed by space to write your own, along with instructions for how to use The Alphabet Process.
A deeply healing and empowering practice.
Available on Amazon on Kindle or in paperback.
Here’s What People Are Saying:
“A beautiful and simple concept. As easy as ABC! This sweet book offers a creative way to counter the leanings of the mind and provides exercises to stay buoyant and positive. My favorite letter is Q!
“A joyful and positive journey down alphabet lane. Each letter has affirmations that one may reflect on, contemplate and be inspired by. Feeling creative? There is space to insert your own creations. Beautiful concept and execution.
“Eh già!. Usando questo libro mi sono accorta di quanta resistenza si fa al giorno d’oggi a vedere, ansi no, a pensare POSITIVO! Devo dire GRAZIE GRAZIE e infinitamente GRAZIE all’autrice del libro che con questo semplice esercizio (ma per nulla scontato!) mi ha riportata a vedere le cose diversamente.”
“I’m pleased to read one affirmation every morning. These set a positive direction for my work day as well as days of rest and recharging.”
“Provides lots of ideas for how to make one’s life more positive by visualizing in a fun way! Highly recommended!
To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page
Gratitude is literally one of the few things that can measurably change people’s lives.” – Bob Emmons, Ph.D.
I recently had the opportunity to listen to an interview with Bob Emmons, Ph.D. – a leading authority on gratitude and author of Gratitude Works, who spoke on the benefits of gratitude. The interview was part of a year long training program I am attending in the application of positive neuroplasticity with Dr. Rick Hanson.
While gratitude has often been thought of as a touchy-feeling spiritual practice, with perhaps little to no practical implications, gratitude, in fact, has been scientifically proven to have multiple physical, psychological and social benefits. Here are just a few:
Research has shown that adults who practice gratitude on a regular basis experience the following benefits:
Physical
- Exercise more regularly and take better care of their health
- Report fewer illness symptoms
- Have stronger immune systems
- Are less bothered by aches and pains
- Have lower blood pressure
- Respond more effectively to daily stressors, and may show increased resilience when confronted with trauma induced stress
- Sleep an average of 30-minutes longer each night and wake feeling more alive and vital
Psychological
- Have higher levels of positive emotions, such as joy, enthusiasm and love
- Are protected from envy, greed, resentment and bitterness
- Are more alert, alive and awake
- Feel more optimistic and happier
- Have fewer toxic negative emotions
- Can experience a decrease in the duration and frequency of depression
- Have a higher sense of self-worth
Social
- Are more helpful, generous and compassionate
- Feel more loving, joyful, forgiving and enthusiastic
- Are more outgoing
- Have improved relationships
- Have increased feelings of connectedness, and even altruism
- Experience increased social support
THIS WEEK’S TIP ‘N TOOL
PRACTICE: GROWING HAPPINESS THROUGH GRATITUDE
People who kept a gratitude journal once a week for 10-weeks reported a 25% increase in happiness. So…
This week you can begin your gratitude practice by starting a gratitude journal.
For instance, you might like to purchase a journal or notebook that appeals to you, and that brings a sense of pleasure to look at and write in.
Then, once a week (or more often, if you like), write five things your grateful for.
As an extra boost, at the beginning or end of every day, spend a little quiet time reflecting on the “good facts” in your life.
For instance, the comfortable bed you’re lying on, the sun shining through your window, the warmth (or coolness) of the air on your skin, etc. (I like to do this in the evening, while lying in bed, just prior to sleeping.)
Then, soak in the good feelings that arise as you reflect on what you’ve written in your gratitude journal and as you review the good facts in your life at the beginning or end of the day.
The practice of “soaking in the good” is an important step and will help to tilt your brain in the direction of happiness and positivity.
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I am a Certified Life Coach, Energy Healing Practitioner, Workshop Leader and Author with more than 25 years’ experience. It gives me great pleasure to help my clients grow the resources they need so they can flourish and lead the lives they desire. My books, “Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself, and “I Am the Treasure,” can be found on Amazon.
For more information and to schedule an appointment email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com. Coaching and healing sessions are available internationally by Skype and telephone, and in person in Trieste, Italy.
Dear Friends,
Wishing a Happy (now belated!) Mother’s Day to all the mom’s out there!
And, as we all give birth to the ideas, dreams, and the lives we create, we are all mothering something. May you give birth to the gifts and talents you are here to share and treat them with loving care.
Hear Your Own Music – Dr. Eric Pearl
It’s been more than 100 years since Woodrow Wilson proclaimed Mother’s Day a national celebration in May 2014.
As women, we can take pride in having birthed our children, and more extensively, in the gifts we have shared with the world through the very nature of our being.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ONE AND ALL AND QUOTES TO INSPIRE!
We all have special gifts and talents to share. So, in our own way, we are part of the creation process, giving birth to new ideas through our words, our thoughts, our actions, and the visions we hold for ourselves and for the world. The things we create, whether tangible or not, are like our children, and we must care for and nurture them in order for them to excel and grow.
Whether we give birth to something tangible that we can hold and touch, such as a baby, a book, a product, or birth something such as peace, love and gentleness, when we act from inspiration and from the core of our being, our creations bring greater Light, Love and Joy into the world and are part of our personal callings. They feed us, as much as, or more than, they feed and nourish the world.
Here are a few of my favorite quotes. May they inspire your creations:
“Begin to practice taking small steps, doing the things you’ve avoided doing before, experiencing little “risks” and “little” adventures until your love of doing what you want and your experience at taking risks makes you confident enough that living your biggest dream is only one more little “risky” step.” – Barbara Sher
“Everyone has a unique purpose in life…a unique gift or special talent to give to others. And when we blend this unique talent with service to others we experience the ecstasy and exultation of our own spirit, which is the ultimate goal of all goals.” – Deepak Chopra
“Success comes when you move unerringly forward. Rejecting all that tends to distract you from your master plan.” Catherine Ponder
“Think of your work life not as separate from your spiritual life, but as central to your spiritual life. Whatever your business, it is your ministry.” – Marianne Williamson
“What scares you can free you when you start taking steps to have what you truly desire.” – Theresa Conti
Wishing you a very happy, healthy, joy-filled Mother’s Day! May all of your relations be filled with joy, peace, beauty and love.
If you know someone who found this post helpful, please share.
For more resources, please check out my books, Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself and I Am the Treasure on Amazon.
With love, Theresa
Theresa Conti is a Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Workshop Leader and Author with more than 25 years’ experience. Theresa specializes is helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams, and create happier, healthier and more fulfilling lives.
For more information and to schedule an appointment email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com. Coaching and healing sessions are available internationally by Skype and telephone, and in person in Trieste, Italy.
Preamble
I wrote the original version of this post back in August 2013. Amazing how time flies! Since then I’ve learned a lot more about the power of the brain and how it’s conditioned to tilt toward the negative based on our ancestors’ needs for survival; something that kept them on constant alert for oncoming threats and danger. Their need for protection was prominent, and therefore the reaction to potential danger to fight or flee was hardwired into the brain for the purpose of keeping them safe; something the brain continues to do today even when theres’s no real threat of danger. It’s no wonder that many of us struggle in pursuit of our dreams and goals, or are afraid to make changes because we’re conditioned to think the worst. This is known as the brain’s “negativity bias.”
I am so grateful for the HEAL process, developed by Dr. Rick Hansen, and the growth I’m seeing in myself, and others, based on the principles of experience dependent neuroplasticity (also known as Positive Neuroplasticity); a simple, yet powerful process that helps us grow inner resources for safety, satisfaction and connection so we can better meet life’s challenges and enjoy greater health, happiness and fulfillment.
SOWING SEEDS OF HAPPINESS
“All that I am is the result of all that I have thought.” – Buddha
It’s amazing how fast time flies, and how our dreams and goals, and the changes we wish to make often get sidetracked by the thoughts we think, the beliefs we hold, and the rationale that we’ll get to them someday. If this sounds familiar to you, don’t let your thoughts and beliefs hijack you!
Every word we speak, and every thought we think, has a powerful and corresponding effect. Whether we know it or not, we are constantly creating our own reality through our thoughts, beliefs and perceptions. Moreover, when we react to conditions and situations in our lives, the brain behaves as though we are in danger and strives to keep us safe.
For instance, let’s say you want to learn how to dance, but your mind tells you all the reasons you shouldn’t do it: “You won’t know anyone in the class, ” “you’ll make a fool of yourself,” “you’ve got nothing to wear,” and “it’s too expensive,” etc. In this way, the amygdala, the part of the brain whose job it is to keep us safe, reacts and prompts us to flee, by staying at home and watching a movie by ourselves instead. And so rather than risk trying something new, we may feel lonely and unsatisfied as our dreams and goals are thwarted.
Alternatively, we can respond to life’s challenges by learning how to calm the nervous system and help the brain learn from positive facts and experiences. As we do, we create new neural pathways within the circuitry of the brain, which lead to a greater sense of well-being, joy and contentment.
Let’s redo our dance scenario. Let’s say, once again, you want to learn to dance. You still feel anxious and nervous about talking the class, but this time you recognize the brain’s bias toward negativity and its function to protect and keep you from what it perceives as danger. Instead of reacting to the situation and staying at home to watch a movie, you respond by drawing on the inner resources you’ve developed for safety, satisfaction and connection. In this case, growing resources of calmness, confidence and feelings of belonging may have helped you feel more relaxed and comfortable about about taking the dance class. As neurons that fire together wire together, over time, you would be helping the brain learn from the new experience.
A final note: Please note that the practice isn’t about denying what’s happening within or around us. It’s about becoming mindful of our needs and growing inner resources that help us better meet life’s challenges. In doing so we create greater happiness for ourselves, for others, and for the world.
THIS WEEK’S TIP ‘N TOOL:
SOWING SEEDS OF HAPPINESS
Change starts with mindfulness…
This week, without judging your thoughts, or yourself, simply notice the thoughts you’re thinking and the feelings they elicit. Be mindful of what they’re telling you. Ask yourself if they’re really true.
Next…
Try calming your nervous system by putting your right hand on your heart and taking several deep breaths. Let your exhale be longer than your inhale. Repeat this exercise until you feel a little calmer.
Choose a Resource…
Ask yourself what resource would be helpful to meet the challenge you’re experiencing.
Try this…
For example, let’s say you’ve been feeling insecure, afraid and timid. To match the resource to the situation, you might choose to grow confidence.
Begin by taking a few breaths, and relax as you let go and feel supported by the chair beneath you. As you breathe, and feel yourself relax, let go of any remaining tension. Then, as you’re ready, visualize or think of a time, or times, you felt confident.
Notice the sensations in your body, and any thoughts you may have in support of your feeling confident as you watch the experience play out in your minds eye. If opposite emotions or thoughts come up, know that’s natural and bring your attention back to the experience of feeling confident.
If you’re not visual, or have trouble visualizing, think of a time you felt confident and what that feels like in your body.
Enrich the experience by making it bigger. For instance, notice the details – where you are, what you’re doing, who you’re with, how the air feels on your skin, etc.
Then, let the sensations you’re experiencing as you visualize or think about the situation flow down into your body, like a sponge soaking in water. Stay with the sensations for 5 to 20 seconds or longer. Let yourself absorb and enjoy the experience.
When you’re ready, open your eyes.
Then, as you go through the course of your day, be aware times you feel encouraged, hopeful and assured, and once again, let the good feelings of the positive experience flow down into your body.
When done consistently, you will help the brain to learn from the new experience, and over time, the tendency to tilt to the positive will become more natural.
Good Facts…
Look for good facts that support your feeling confident. For instance,, notice the things you do well, or the things you accomplish as you go about your day. Then soak in the good feelings.
***Note that absorbing the good feelings into your body for as little as five to 10 seconds is what will help your brain to learn and grow for the better, and is an essential part of the practice.***
For more resources, please check out my books on Amazon.
As always, I’d love to hear about your experience, should you decide to try the process.
With love, Theresa
Connect with me on:
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/
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Dear Friends,
Do you find it easy to say “Yes,” to others’ requests, but hard to say “Yes” to yourself?
Do you have a vision or intention for how to spend your holidays, but get hijacked by requests that you have a hard time saying “No” to?
The holidays can be a time of joy and cheer, as well as elicit feelings of stress and pressure.
While we may enjoy all that the holidays offer as we attend parties and other events; decorate our homes; shop for special gifts; visit friends and travel to see relatives and; make our favorite holiday recipes, among other festivities, we can also feel stretched and experience a strain on our time, energy, and financial reserves.
We may rationalize our decision to forgo our own needs, because we don’t want to offend our friends and family members, or risk disapproval from those we love or value.
But saying “No” provides an opportunity for others to grow, and care for themselves, and respect your personal needs.
Here are seven tips, and related questions, to help you gain clarity and take care of yourself this holiday season:
1. Take Inventory
– When are you saying “Yes” when you would rather say “No?”
– Are there particular circumstances or people who present a challenge?
2. Be Mindful
– How does it feel in your body when you say “Yes” instead of “No?”
– Pay attention to stress and tension.
3. Is what you fear will happen really true?
– How do you know?
– Is what you’re afraid of happening absolutely true?
– Regardless of what has happened in the past, this is a new moment.
– How can you take care of yourself if what you’re afraid of actually happens?
4. What is saying “Yes” costing you?
– Are you tired and forfeiting rest?
– Do you have the financial resources to travel or buy expensive presents?
– Do you want to attend the events you’ve been invited to, or go out of obligation and later feel angry or resentful?
– What other costs might there be?
5. Are you willing to pay the price?
– If you’re answer is “Yes,” do so with awareness. What will the payoffs be?
– If your answer is “No,” what could you do instead” (See #6 below)
6. Saying “No” takes practice
– If you’re feeling nervous about expressing yourself, you may find it helpful to write down what it is you want to say.
– Then practice with a friend, a coach, or even in the mirror!
7. Moving Forward
– What qualities do you need to grow inside yourself in order to feel comfortable setting healthy boundaries?
– Reflect on a time you were presented with a challenge and took care of yourself by setting a healthy boundary.
– Notice how the positive sensations feel in your body, and let the feelings flow through you.
– You can also think about how you felt – perhaps you felt a sense of confidence, or felt secure or empowered.
– Let the good feelings soak in as you stay with the experience for five to 20 seconds.
As always, I would love to hear from you.
With love,
Theresa
If you found today’s post helpful, please comment and share.
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Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator, and author with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams, and create healthier, happier, more fulfilling lives.
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
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“Shine your light and make a positive impact on the world; there is nothing so honorable as helping improve the lives of others.” – Roy T. Bennett
I am reading the book “The Power of You,” by Chris Michaels. I have just finished the first chapter. The book is about our relationship with the Divine – the spiritual Presence we know by many names: God, Spirit, Creator. What we call “It” doesn’t matter.
We are all Divinely connected. Individual and unique expressions of Life; each with our own gifts and talents, and capacities for loving and giving. This is how we can truly change the world – by following our bliss; our dreams; our goals; and knowing there is a Divine Presence that wants the best for us. We are Its channels.
We add value to the world, and make a difference in the lives of others, by the simple things we do.
I recently sent a small amount of money to an elderly relative who is living on social security, and a small amount of food stamps. It’s something I learned from my father, who always impressed me with his generosity and I now follow in his footsteps, when I feel called and inspired to do so. Not from obligation, but from a place of loving presence.
We are beacons of light. We have the power to love, to heal, to care for and to bless one another, through our words, our actions, and the very essence of who we are.
I received a message from my relative the other day thanking me, and letting know that my contribution made a significant difference to her sense of security and well-being. It was a small gift, but it meant the world to her.
Our acts of kindness don’t have to be financial – they can be whatever we feel guided and inspired to do, moment by moment. And in doing so, we lift the lives of others, and ourselves, and increase the vibrations of love and well-being on our planet.
THIS WEEK’S TNT
What’s one act of kindness you can do today to make a difference in someone’s life?
It can be an act of kindness to someone you know or to a perfect stranger.
Notice how good it feels to contribute to another’s sense of well-being.
Not from obligation, or winning favor, but from a spirit of love and generosity.
And what we give will come back to us in ways we may never fathom. Like a sacred circle.
Try it for a day, a week, a month, a lifetime.
Little by little, our acts of kindness can, and do, make a difference.
It’s all a matter of practice.
If you like, try using the following affirmation from Chapter 11 of
ALPHABET AFFIRMATIONS: TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE AND LOVE YOURSELF
“MY HEART IS OPEN WIDE. I SPREAD KINDNESS EVERYWHERE I GO.
Then let your heart fill with love, and like a soothing balm flowing through you, let the good feelings fill your body.
As always, I would love to hear your comments, and how this week’s TNT works for you.
With love,
Theresa
“Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself” is an empowering process that can help you change your thoughts and create greater health, happiness, and fulfillment.
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Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing Practitioner, Author, and Workshop Leader with more than 25 years’ experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams, and create greater health, happiness and fulfillment. She is trained in positive psychology, neuroscience, practical spirituality, among other modalities.
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“People deal too much with the negative, with what is wrong. Why not try to see the positive things, to touch just those things and make them bloom?” – Thich Nhat Hanh
Such a savoury thought.
I recently returned from a 7-week trip to the U.S., where I had the great pleasure of spending time with family and friends. More than a year had gone by; way too long. I established a deeper relationship with my son, who I miss and dearly love; visited my 93 year-old aunt in New Jersey; had a wonderful time hiking, cooking, talking and reconnecting with friends; soaked in the natural beauty of the Pacific Northwest; and toddled around my own stomping grounds in New York City. What a glorious trip it was!
Over the last week, I’ve slowly (or maybe not SO slowly!) have been getting back into the swing of things in my current home in Trieste, Italy. Several days ago I organized an event for my Women’s Spiritual Support and Empowerment MeetUp Group and went to see Walk With Me, a movie about Zen Meditation and Mindfulness teacher, Thich Nhat Hanh, and his monastery in France. It was such a wonderful reminder of how we can resource ourselves with peace, safety and connection, when living in the midst of a storm, whether it be personal, relational, political, or global.
I participated in two of Nhat Hanh’s programs when I lived in New York – an evening program at The Beacon Theater and a day-long retreat at the Blue Cliff Monastery in Upstate New York. A gentle and beautiful soul, he is one of my favorite teachers, and I find even listening to his voice brings a sense of peace and calmness.
Although I attended two of his live events, I learned the “half-smile“ meditation while reading Being Peace (at least I think that’s the book!); one of Thich Nhat Hanh’s many publications. The practice is simple, yet profound; only takes a few minutes to do; and fits in perfectly with positive neuroplasticity – the process of rewiring the brain for happiness, which I have a great pleasure of studying with Dr. Rick Hanson.
Give the half-smile a try and see how it works for you!
THIS WEEKS TNT – THE HALF-SMILE
If you’re feeling low, anxious or want to experience greater peace, love or joy in your your life , close your eyes and take a breath.
Then, let your lips curl into a half-smile, as you exhale.
Notice the sensations in your body.
Let whatever sensations you may experience fill you.
Stay with the good feelings for five to ten seconds.
Then, enjoy the moment.
Should you try it, I would love to know how the half-smile works for you.
Need help transforming your thoughts and words into those that support and inspire you?
Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself is a fun and empowering process that will help you transform your thoughts into ones the lift, nurture and support you, whether you’re dealing with relationships, financial, confidence, or other issues. There’s an affirmation waiting to reveal itself to you!
Available on Amazon
Don’t have a Kindle? Download the free Kindle App on your cell phone, computer or tablet. Carry your favorite affirmations wherever you are.
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HERE’S WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING:
“Theresa’s book and techniques will help guide you on your path to transformation. When you create a life you love and are grateful for your life, mind, body and spirit receive the love message and all benefit.” Bernie Siegel, M.D., Author of 365 Prescriptions For The Soul
“A beautiful and simple concept – as easy as ABC! This sweet book offers a creative way to counter the leanings of the mind and provides exercises to stay buoyant and positive — and it offers a section to add even more affirmations to the mix! How cool is that? A great book to have on hand as a reminder that every moment is a new moment and it “affirms” that one can transform their thoughts and their lives in a quick minute. My favorite letter is Q!” – S.G.
PURCHASE YOUR COPY HERE
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“Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.” – Desmond Tutu
I took a bus ride to Aurisina a few days ago – a small town about 15 km from Trieste, in the karst part of the commune of Duino-Aurisina, where I often hike along the Rilke Trail – as I had an appointment for a medical exam.
I noticed a woman, somewhere in her 50’s or 60’s, I would guess, who had gotten up from her seat several rows behind me to stand by the door at the front of the bus, although I didn’t know why. I settled in for the 45-minute bus ride, activated the Duolingo Italian program in my cell phone to keep myself occupied, and looked up along the way to take in the lovely view of the Gulf of Trieste as we progressed up the hill toward my destination.
I lost track of the woman standing at the front of the bus, until we both got off in Aurisina. As this was my first time there, I wasn’t sure where to go, and was scoping out the area. The woman from the bus saw me looking around and came over to direct me. Although she didn’t speak English (and I little Italian), we found a way to communicate, and I followed her, as we were both going in the same direction.
Although she was called before me, I finished my exam first, and walked outside to catch the bus to Duino, where I planned to stop for a coffee and walk the Rilke Trail, as it was such a beautiful day. I missed the bus by seconds, and was waiting for the next one, when the nice lady who helped me appeared and crossed the street to catch the bus that was heading back to Trieste. Her bus approached, but it pulled out before she got on, as she stopped to ask me if I was coming! Our eyes met, and we each shrugged our shoulders in recognition of what had just happened, then she came over to my side of the street and decided to ride with me to Duino! We laughed and talked as best we could, and enjoyed the 20-minute ride. I found out she also likes walking, as she asked me if I would like to get together to go hiking sometime. We exchanged phone numbers, and I heard from her this morning.
We never know when and how connections will be made or what their purpose is. The people we meet along the way provide us with whatever we need at the moment, we do the same for them. It’s one of Life’s gifts and blessings.
THIS WEEK’S TNT
Be open to opportunities to connect with the people around you.
You may not know what gifts they bring or those you’re there to share.
If you like, experiment with using the following affirmation from Chapter 11 from “Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself:”
“My heart is open wide. I spread Kindness everywhere I go.”
Soak in the good feelings as you think of a time you experienced someone’s kindness or a time when you were kind.
Let the feelings fill your body for two or more breaths. And notice how your energy shifts.
Then be open to the possibilities Life provides you to connect with those around you.
With love, Theresa
“ALPHABET AFFIRMATIONS: TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE AND LOVE YOURSELF” IS AN EASY TO USE E-BOOK, AND EMPOWERING PROCESS, THAT CAN HELP YOU REVAMP YOUR MINDSET AND LIVE THE LIFE THAT YOU DESIRE.
HERE’S WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING:
“Theresa’s book and techniques will help guide you on your path to transformation. When you create a life you love and are grateful for your life, mind, body and spirit receive the love message and all benefit.” Bernie Siegel, M.D., Author of 365 Prescriptions For The Soul
“A beautiful and simple concept – as easy as ABC! This sweet book offers a creative way to counter the leanings of the mind and provides exercises to stay buoyant and positive — and it offers a section to add even more affirmations to the mix! How cool is that? A great book to have on hand as a reminder that every moment is a new moment and it “affirms” that one can transform their thoughts and their lives in a quick minute. My favorite letter is Q!” – S.G.
AVAILABLE ON AMAZON
https://goo.gl/DSEpCY
If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal. It’s here:
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Author, and Workshop Facilitator with more 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives.
Read the rest of this entry »
“I do not understand the mystery of Grace – only that it meets us where we are, but does not leave us where it found us.” – Anne Lamott
I recently had the opportunity to support a friend who is struggling with uncertainty and change, something I’m sure most, if not all of us can relate to, especially in these turbulent times.
Yet, by whatever name we call it: Grace, The Universe, Energy, God, Love, Source, or something else, there is a power for good at work in our lives, but it’s up to us to quiet our minds and connect to it.
I felt a deep sense of compassion as I listened to my friend talk about the lack of direction she has been feeling about where to move, as she can no longer stay where she is living. I woke the following morning inspired to share a prayer from A Course in Miracles (ACIM):
God, show me where you would have me go,
What you would have me do,
What you would have me say,
And to whom.
My friend and I continued to email and kept our conversation going. I was later inspired to send her an entry from my e-book, “Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself,” which seemed to deeply touch her. It comes from the letter “D.”
“I am Divinely guided and make Decisions that Delight me!”
My friend wrote back thanking me, and told me she was almost crying as she read the affirmation, and shared that clarity seemed a very distant and vague idea. She was comforted by my words.
Grace comes in many forms. An inspiring word, a hand extended from a friend, an unexpected gift or blessing.
It’s easy for the mind to focus on what’s wrong and not see the the miracles that are unfolding right before us. A few days ago a friend told me had coats she is no longer using and asked me if I wanted them. She knew the zipper on my jacket had broken and I hadn’t yet found a replacement. We met for coffee a few days later and she brought the two coats with her. They are exactly what I had been looking for and appear to be brand new. I so appreciated her kind and generous gesture.
As Jean Houston likes to say, “What we appreciate, appreciates.” As we reflect on the good in our lives, it opens up the channels for Life’s grace and blessings to flow to us.
THIS WEEK’S TNT
Notice where you are feeling stuck or experiencing a lack of clarity or direction.
Then, for the next week, take note of the good things occurring in your life.
Start your day by expecting something wonderful!
You might like to practice standing with eyes closed and arms outstretched, while repeating the following affirmation:
“I am now open to receive all of Life’s blessings.”
Then see what happens!
The blessings will likely come in unexpected ways.
Take time to reflect on them and soak in the good feelings,
And open to Life’s ever-present Grace.
With love,
Theresa
NEED HELP CHANGING YOUR THOUGHTS AND PERCEPTIONS?
“ALPHABET AFFIRMATIONS: TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE AND LOVE YOURSELF’ IS AN EASY TO USE AND EMPOWERING PROCESS THAT CAN HELP YOU REVAMP YOUR MINDSET AND LIVE THE LIFE THAT YOU DESIRE.
AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.
If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal. It’s here:
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Author, and Workshop Facilitator with more 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives.
Read the rest of this entry »
“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you’re heading.” – Lao Tzu
Change can be both exhilarating and scary. Whether we wish to change careers, sell or purchase a home, move to a new city or country, begin or end a relationship, or do anything that’s new, the future is unknown and can prompt feelings of fear and insecurity.
A few months ago, I had a chat with an American woman who has been living in Trieste for 15 years or so. She works for an American support organization, and has watched people who have relocated from abroad come and go. I had been feeling a bit lonely the day I saw her, and was longing for connections on a deeper, more personal level. She said I was at a crisis point, wondering if I would ever learn the language, make closer friends, establish a clientele, learn the subtleties between cultures, etc. I felt like she was a mindreader and was inside of my head! The thing that helped me most was when she said that what I was feeling was common and the point at which most people left and returned home. Wow. Although I had no intention of moving, it made perfect sense and gave me a new perspective.
The challenges that come with change are true with any endeavor. The reptilian part of our brains are hard-wired to keep us safe, so we’re bound to question our decisions, and wonder if we’re on the right path when feelings of doubt and insecurity rear their frightening heads. Our ancestors were on alert for their physical safety, and had to fight or flee when their environment was threatened. In modern times, the “old” brain kicks in when it perceives an emotional threat, and can stop us in our tracks.
I still feel lonely and insecure from time to time, however, I remind myself that what I’m feeling is natural; take a breath; reach out for support, when needed; and move on.
Fear is a common occurrence and something we are bound to experience when we stretch our comfort zones and embark on something new. The key is recognizing where the fear is stemming from, and tapping in to our Inner Strength and the wisdom of our guts.
THIS WEEK’S TNT
What change have you been wanting to make, but have been afraid of doing so?
On a scale of “1” to “10,” with “1” Not At All Important and “10” Extremely Important, how important is the change you wish to make?
What’s holding you back?
Notice the feelings that emerge. Are you scared, excited, happy, terrified?
Are the thoughts that you’re thinking true and serving you? Or are they assumptions based on beliefs that are trying to keep you safe?
Take a breath and call on your Inner Wisdom.
What feels right for you to do?
Ask your gut, not your head!
What brings a feeling of deep peace and inner contentment?
Your gut will serve to guide you.
With love, Theresa
Need help changing your thoughts and perceptions?
“Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself” is an empowering tool that may help you make the changes you desire, and create a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life.
Available on Amazon.
If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal. It’s here:
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Author, and Workshop Facilitator with more 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives.
Read the rest of this entry »
” What is outrageous is not what you ask for. What is outrageous is what you settle for.” – Alan Cohen
I wrote a blog a few months ago on the power of our words. (Sorry, that one was sent to to email list, and isn’t posted here.) It was inspired by a talk I heard on TEDx by Dr. Carolyne Myss, entitled “Choices That Can Change Your Life.” In her talk, Dr. Myss cited several strategies that I thought were quite empowering. My favorite technique was giving up one word from my vocabulary and never using it again. The word that immediately came to mind was “can’t!”
We often hold ourselves back from our dreams and desires without realizing it. We have our favorite words or strategies that keep us living small and narrow lives, as we fear the worst will happen and settle for what we have rather than taking the risk and going for what we want.
As I contemplated letting go of the word “can’t,” I reflected on how my life would expand as I opened to new adventures, ideas, and opportunities. Interestingly, since I let it go, I’ve become much more aware of when I feel vulnerable (a feeling that the word “can’t” was masking), which allows me to make a conscious choice about what I want to do – one that serves to take care of myself and empowers me – rather than acting on impulse. So…a few week’s ago, excited by the change, I decided to let go of the word “try.” (Remember Yoda? Do or do not. There is no try?) It’s another one of those insidious words that casts a shadow on our gifts, dreams, and abilities. Yes – it’s true – we all have our limits. After all, I’ll likely never be a mathematician or a geologist, but why settle for limits that are self-imposed and that are rooted in our beliefs and history?
This Weeks TNT
Observe your thoughts and words over the next three days.
Make note of the thoughts you think and the words you use most consistently.
Write them down and track how often you use them.
At the end of day three, review your notes.
Are your thoughts and words serving to empower or limit you?
If the latter, what word are you ready and willing to give up?
Let it go for the next month and see what, if any, changes you notice.
Change generally comes by taking small steps that lead to big results.
With love, Theresa
©2018
Need help changing your thoughts and words?
“Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Life and Love Yourself” is an empowering tool that may help you change your thoughts and perceptions and create a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life.
Available now on Amazon.
If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal. It’s here:
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, Author, and Workshop Facilitator with more 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives.
Read the rest of this entry »
“Although it may feel uncomfortable to think about saying no, it’s important to remember that each time you say yes to someone, or something else, you say no to you and your priorities.” – Oprah Winfrey
We want to be kind. We want to be loved. We want to give because it feels good, and we want to be generous with our gifts, talents, abilities and time. But how often do we say “yes” to requests from friends, colleagues, family members, and others, when we know, within our heart of hearts, that it means taking time away from caring for ourselves?
Saying “no” can conjure up feelings of guilt and shame, because we may think it’s self-centered, and be afraid that others may judge us. But people learn how to treat us by how we treat ourselves.
Giving and receiving is an art of balance. But how can we achieve it? Change begins with awareness. Are you aware of how often you say “yes” when you would rather say “no?” The answer may surprise you!
THIS WEEK’S TNT
This week, make not of how many times you say “yes,” when you would rather say “no.”
Keep a record in a small notebook or make a list on your phone.
Notice how you feel when you say “yes” to something you don’t want to do.
Do you feel resentful, angry, frustrated, stressed, or exhausted?
Your body is giving you clues!
At the end of the week, add up the number of entries in your notebook.
Then, make a list of five things you would like to say “no” to.
Start with something small.
You don’t need to explain or justify yourself.
Don’t know what to say?
Here’s a rule of thumb you can follow:
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don’t say it mean.
Learning to say “no” takes practice. But you can learn how to say it.
The more you practice, the easier it will become.
You will feel better, and while some relationships may fall away, others will deepen and grow.
As always, I would love to hear your comments about how this week’s TNT worked for you and what it is you discovered.
With love, Theresa
If would you found this week’s TNT helpful, and would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal. It’s here:
Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. Available internationally by Skype and U.S. telephone.
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.
Website: www.reconnecting2you.com
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
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“Every thought you have makes up some segment of the world you see. It is with your thoughts then, that we must work, if your perception of the world is to be changed.” – A Course In Miracles, Lesson 23
How would your life be different if you changed your thoughts and the words you use?
Whether we know it or not, our words have power and what we give our attention to grows.
I heard a TEDx Talk by Carolyn Myss a while back entitled “Choices That Can Change Your Life.” My biggest take-away was giving away one word from my vocabulary and never using it again. The word that immediately came to mind was “can’t.” I gave it away several months ago, and have rarely used it since.***
We often hold ourselves back from the lives we want without realizing we’re doing it. Our words, and the strategies we use for coping with the world around us, may keep us living smaller than we desire. We may think the worst will happen if we pursue our dreams and goals and settle for what we have rather than embrace what it is we want. Our perceptions are often based on past experiences or conditioning, which has nothing to do with living in the present moment.
Since I’ve given up (or at least reduced!) the word “can’t” from my vernacular, I’ve noticed how my life is expanding and how I’ve become more bold. Like everything, it is a work in progress, as life continues to unfold.
Our words, thoughts, and behaviors are intimately connected. The more conscious we become of what we say and do, the more freedom we have to choose.
Want more love, joy, and abundance in your life? Try out this week’s TNT!
THIS WEEK’S TNT
Pick a day to pay attention to the words you commonly use.
Notice the effect they have on your behavior.
For instance, if you tell yourself you “can’t,” how does it limit you, and what effect does it have on your life?
When you have completed your observation, choose one word to give away for the remainder of the month.
What changes do you notice?
Have fun with it!
Remember, it’s progress not perfection!
As always, I would love to hear your comments about how this week’s TNT worked for you and what it is you discovered.
With love, Theresa
***You can imagine giving your word away to a trusted friend who will take and transform it, or imagine placing it in a pink bubble and releasing it, or whatever else feels right.
If you found this week’s TNT helpful and would like to support my work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at PayPal. It’s here:
Are you in transition?
Would you like help addressing an issue you’ve been grappling with?
Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. Available internationally by Skype and U.S. telephone.
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.
Website: www.reconnecting2you.com
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo
Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy
“Ever since happiness heard your name, it has been running through the streets trying to find you.” – Hafez
I was first introduced to the question “Would you rather be right or happy?” as a student of A Course in Miracles back in the 1980’s. It was a profound turning point, and changed the way I viewed my relationships and my perceptions of life.
The mind is riddled with judgment and loves to be right, which creates conflict within ourselves and our personal and global relationships.
The state of the world, and the stress we experience, often stem from our thoughts and perceptions. What would happen if we suspended our judgments for just one day and created space to listen and understand one another? To find common ground? And extend love and compassion to ourselves instead of comparing what we have and who we are to others?
Suspending judgment doesn’t mean we accept the status quo or don’t change what isn’t working when our human needs for love and security are neglected. Rather, it calls for questioning whether our judgments and opinions about ourselves, and others, are accurate.
Our happiness resides within and is waiting to be found. Let’s discover it!
THIS WEEKS TNT
Choose one day during the week to experiment.
Stop at regular intervals during the day to take note of your thoughts and perceptions.
Choose an activity that you engage in throughout the day to serve as a reminder to stop and observe what you are thinking.
Take a breath and notice any stress or discomfort in your body as you take note of your thoughts.
Ask yourself if the thought or perception is accurate.
Is it based on the past or the present?
Is it yours or someone else’s?
How else can you view the situation?
What, if any changes, are you aware of?
As always, I would love to hear your comments about how this week’s TNT worked for you and what it is you discovered.
With love,
Theresa
Are you in transition?
Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. Available internationally by Skype and U.S. telephone.
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.
Website: www.reconnecting2you.com
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo
Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy
To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
“The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude.” – Oprah Winfrey
Although we may be accustomed to thinking that our minds and bodies are separate entities, the truth is that they are intimately connected and have an effect on our behaviors and our experience of the world.
For instance, let’s say you have a conflict with a co-worker or family member and are uncomfortable addressing it. Here’s how the scenario might go:
Thought: I am afraid of conflict.
Feeling: Fear, anxiety, resentment
Behavior: Avoidance, aggression
Physical response: Shallow breathing, stomach pain, tight muscles
When we change our thinking, we change how we feel about the situation or person, which then alters our behavior and how we physically feel.
In my workshop, Developing a New Relationship with Your Body, I facilitate a kinesiology exercise that proves the point. I ask a volunteer to come to the front of the room and extend their dominant arm in a horizontal position. I then ask them to resist my pressure as I press down on their wrist and test their strength. They always test quite strong.
Next, I ask them to close their eyes and repeat the phrase “I am weak and helpless” 10 times. (I always do the counting!) When done, I ask them to extend the same arm and I retest their strength. The volunteers’ arms, without fail, become weak and fall limply by their sides. The class is always quite astonished.
In the final phase of the exercise, I ask the volunteers to repeat the statement “I am strong and powerful” 10 times, with eyes closed, and instruct them to soak in the good feelings. I then retest their strength. It sometimes takes volunteers a few tries to regain their original strength (such is the power of our negativity bias), but they always do, and often feel much stronger then they did at the beginning of the demonstration.
Affirmations are a powerful way to change our mindsets and improve our lives. In my upcoming book, “Alphabet Affirmations: Transform Your Live and Love Yourself,” I provide 78 empowering affirmations to help you create a more joyful and healthy life. Pre-orders are coming soon!
In the meantime, try the following experiment:
THIS WEEK’S TNT
Pick a day to pay attention to your thinking.
Make note of your dominant thoughts.
Notice how you feel.
Choose one thought that diminishes your sense of well-being.
Write an affirmative statement to refocus your thinking.
Soak in the good feelings.
Notice any difference.
Use the affirmation as often as needed.
As always, I would love to hear your comments.
With love,
Theresa
Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. Available internationally by Skype and U.S. telephone.
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.
Website: www.reconnecting2you.com
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo
Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy
To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
“Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.” – Goethe
The term “bold” still scares the bejesus out of me – or at least the part of me that’s afraid of being eaten by tigers! And…the little kid in me who feels afraid of the unknown and wants to feel protected and safe. But that’s not who I am. The former dates back to prehistoric times and is no longer valid. The later stems from childhood and is the part of me that needs comfort and soothing. If you have similar feelings about the word “bold,” the same may be true for you.
Who we are is often more than we give ourselves permission to live up to. Change involves risk – after all, one never knows the future – or the results of the actions we take. Our primary goal is to follow our inner calling and act with confidence and faith (or act as if we have them!), as we take a breath and begin moving forward.
A question I have found helpful for myself, and often ask clients who are unhappy or dissatisfied with their current life experience is:
“What will you regret not having done when you’re lying on your death bed?”
The answer is readily apparent, when we are open to listening. And when we don’t, we will feel out of balance, and may experience depression and physical symptoms.
For me, it meant letting go of my home in New York, selling my belongings, leaving family and friends, and fulfilling my dream of relocating to Italy; re-establishing close and healthy relationships with my family; and, using my gifts and talents to be of greater service in the world. Goethe’s quote is accurate – my life is expanding and my dreams have, and are, coming true. And yours can, too.
It takes guts to move our dreams into action. But that’s what leads to greater happiness, fulfillment and magic. Are you ready to begin?
THIS WEEK’S TNT
Ask yourself:
“What will I regret not having done at the end of my lifetime?”
Write your answer down and place it where you can easily see it.
Reflect on it daily.
Make a list of what it would take to accomplish.
Create an action plan to realize it.
Take the first step and open to the magic.
You’ll know you’re on track when the energy starts flowing.
If you get stuck, reach out to friends, professionals, and colleagues you know will support you.
As always, I would love to hear your comments.
With love,
Theresa
Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. Available internationally by Skype and U.S. telephone.
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.
Website: www.reconnecting2you.com
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo
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Preamble
I first heard the phrase “Sweet Spot” uttered by my father in relation to the number of strokes he could swim in the Atlantic Ocean. The phrase stuck with me through my childhood and re-emerged several years ago when speaking with a colleague about where in the world to live.
I love closing my eyes and imagining living in my sweet spot, whether it be related to work, a relationship or an adventure I would like to take. Visualizing my sweet spot elicits feelings of love, prosperity and a deep sense of joy and fulfillment.
We all have our personal sweet spots – some that we know of and some yet to be discovered.
Theresa’s TNT (Tip ‘N Tool) Living In Your Sweet Spot
“Life is too short to waste time in the wrong place.” – Joel Osteen
Are you in a job, a relationship, or other situation that drains you? Do you wake in the morning dreading the day? Do you settle for less because you’re afraid of stepping out of your comfort zone and taking a risk that jeopardizes the life you’re accustomed to? Or are you tired of the same old, same old, and ready to try something new?
The status quo provides a measure of safety, but it comes at a definite cost.
When I was in my early 20’s, I was in a dysfunctional marriage and was afraid to leave, because I wasn’t sure I would be able to support my son and I. Looking back, it’s clear to see that when I was ready to take a leap of faith, and file the papers, the universe was there to catch me. I have experienced this phenomenon repeatedly. Most recently when I left New York and began a new life in Trieste. Although your intentions may be different than mine the same can happen for you.
Change can be both exhilarating and scary. It opens new doors, provides new opportunities, and helps us flourish and grow. However, when fear or doubt set in, we may unconsciously sabotage ourselves by thinking the worst, rather than the best, case scenario.
In his book, “Hardwiring Happiness,” Rick Hanson, Ph.D. writes the following:
“…in general, the default setting of the brain is to overestimate threats, underestimate opportunities, and underestimate resources, both for coping with threats and for fulfilling opportunities. Then we update these beliefs with information that confirms them, while ignoring or rejecting information that doesn’t.”
I find Dr. Hanson’s research empowering.
Making a major change can present challenges and leave us feeling vulnerable. However, challenges also come with breakthroughs. For instance, I am in the process of making new friends and speak little Italian. I recently told a few acquaintances that I had been feeling lonely and asked if they would like to get together for dinner or an aperativo. Voila! The next day, I was invited to go sailing! (Hence, the delayed Tip ‘N Tool!)
Being vulnerable may feel uncomfortable, but it can lead to greater happiness and fulfillment.
THIS WEEK’S TNT
What change would you like to make in your life?
Write down your vision in detail.
Then close your eyes and imagine it has already happened.
Let the good feelings sink in for 10-20 seconds.
Repeat as necessary.
It will change your vibrational chemistry and open new doors and opportunities.
When you find yourself doubting the possibility, remind yourself that it’s only a belief and connect with people who support you.
As always, I would love to hear your comments.
With love,
Theresa
Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. Available internationally by Skype and U.S. telephone.
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.
Website: www.reconnecting2you.com
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo
Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy
To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
“Love and compassion are necessities not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.” – Dalai Lama
I have been using a deck of Angel Cards designed by Joy Drake and Kathy Tyler as part of my morning meditation since the mid 1980’s, when I was introduced to them at my first Reiki gathering at Breitenbush Hot Springs in Oregon. Last Friday, I choose the Angel of Compassion. I had just experienced a misunderstanding with a friend and presumed the card was meant for us. So I thought of him, and then myself, and sent us each some love.
I was in Rovinj, Croatia at the time, on a short vacation, and had been eating at a restaurant that served a healthy breakfast and was removed from the throngs of tourists. But on this particular day, I wanted to sit by the water and decided to try a new cafe. As I finished my breakfast, and took my supplements, I happened to look behind me and saw a man sitting alone, who asked if I was taking medication. I said “no,” and explained they were vitamins, and part of my health routine. We then struck up a conversation. I learned that he was from Belgium and that his wife had died two months ago. He explained that they used to go to Rovinj for their annual vacation. He said he wasn’t sure what he was doing there or if he made the right choice in coming. He then begin to cry. I thought of the Angel of Compassion and opened my heart. I tried to give him words of comfort and understanding. We talked for some 10 to 15 minutes.
We never know where life is taking us or why we are led to certain places or people. Perhaps there is a higher order prompting us to go where we are most needed or to those who can provide the help we seek.
THIS WEEKS TNT
Notice where you feel compelled to go or with whom to meet or speak with.
Trust your intuition to guide you.
Notice the results.
Your instincts will get stronger the more frequently you listen.
As always, I would love to hear your comments.
With love,
Theresa
Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. Available internationally by Skype and U.S. telephone.
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.
Website: www.reconnecting2you.com
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo
Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy
To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” – Jimmy Dean
Change can be scary, and fear of the unknown can keep us stuck in our tracks. To the outside world we may appear to be happy and comfortable. But are we?
As you many of you know, I made a major change in my life earlier this year when I relocated to Trieste, Italy. Sure, I had fear, anxiety and doubts. Who wouldn’t? After all, I was moving away from friends and family and creating a total life overhaul. It took two years to get here, but one day, one step at a time, I made it. And so can you. Your dreams may be different than mine – perhaps you would like to learn a new skill, take an art or dance class, change jobs, begin or end a relationship or pursue any number of goals that you have put on the back burner.
Our brains are hardwired to think the worst. It’s a survival mechanism inherited from our ancestors and designed to keep us alive when lions, tigers and dinosaurs threatened our very existence. Despite the news, which focuses on sensationalism and negativity, statistics show that the world is safer today than it was in the past, yet we are conditioned to think the opposite.***
So what to do? And how do you adjust your sails to reach your desired destination when fear is keeping you anchored to your comfort zone? Is the change you would like to make really as threatening as it seems? To whom or what are you listening to? The ancient part of your brain or your inner wisdom, which is always for your greater good and happiness?
THIS WEEK’S TNT
Set aside some quiet time. Have paper and pen handy. Take a few deep breaths and answer the following questions:
What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to do, but were afraid of doing?
What’s the worst that could happen if you do it?
What’s holding you back?
Are the obstacles that are holding you back real, or thoughts you’ve come to believe are true?
What’s one thing you can do to move forward?
Are you ready to do it?
What’s one action you can take this week to pursue it?
As always, I would love to hear your comments.
With love, Theresa
***Check out Steven Pinker’s research online or read his book, “The Better Angels of Our Nature” to learn more about his findings.
Is there a goal or dream you would like to fulfill and would like support in moving forward? Email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com to schedule a Complimentary Coaching Consultation. It would be my pleasure to speak with you. Available internationally by Skype and telephone.
Theresa Conti is a Certified Life Coach, Reconnective Healing® Practitioner, and Workshop Facilitator with more than 25 years experience. Theresa specializes in helping her clients manage their stress, realize their dreams and create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives.
Website: www.reconnecting2you.com
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/theresa-conti-clc-95b4972b/
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Reconnecting2Yo
Yelp: http://goo.gl/1I8BNy
To sign up for Theresa’s mailing list, email Theresa@reconnecting2you.com or click the “Join My List” icon on her Facebook page www.facebook.com/Reconnecting2you
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